VN Ren'Py Broken Promises [v0.38] [Light Cavalry]

[UncleFredo]

Thanks for the update. Massive amount of content for a first release. Excellent renders. Generally attractive women. MC is kind of interesting. All in all an impressive initial offering, so don't let the nay sayers discourage you.

Now let's address the elephant in the room and talk about the story and the writing.

Spoiler: The basic story

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Unsurprisingly with 10 potential LIs and 4-5 supporting characters to introduce there's a LOT of text to wade through. Several (many) commenters have complained about the various LIs demonstrating immediate interest in the MC. Most of the women in this story are lonely and damaged or broken in some way. There are exceptions, but it is not unreasonable for lonely women who've had bad experiences to be attracted to a good looking warm confident man who treats them with a type of flirtatious respect. Other than Sakae, none of the LIs go further than internally considering their interest or possible interest in the MC, and some don't even do that. So I think the complaints about all of them wanting to immediately jump his bones are over blown.

It's worth exploring a couple of the LI's who've drawn specific complaints.

Spoiler: Sakae

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Spoiler: Grace and the Creep

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In any event. Loved this intro, can't wait for the next update.

 

[KekWGgWP]

Why does Ryan's skin is so shiny especially? is he a robot in disguise?

 

[Call of Booty]

Whats wrong with dialogs and all those strange languages,signs and translations? Are we suppose to think that everybody around speak that and we do 'only' english,or is just dev to lazy to clean it up?

 

[portgasdluigi]

There is too much drama for it's own good and it's just thrown at your face at once which makes me essentially not care about any of it. Also every single girl has to so much baggage tied to her that again, it just falls flat with me. It's like Three Rules of Life 2.0.

Spoiler

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Agree 100% I was exhausted by the end. I was putting up with a lot of the flaws (mostly the writing) but

Spoiler

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[portgasdluigi]

Whats wrong with dialogs and all those strange languages,signs and translations? Are we suppose to think that everybody around speak that and we do 'only' english,or is just dev to lazy to clean it up?

During the lunch scene Afina and Kylie keep speaking to each other in different languages while MC and Alice just sit there awkwardly. Then they say "we forgot you guys just speak English." A couple scenes later in the parking garage, Afina and Alice are speaking a different language and I thought to myself "didn't they say Alice only speaks English?" The different languages was exhausting.

 

[michael1984]

Did we meet the gf of the mc as of yet ? i mend the one that we seen as kids ?

Or is she still just a mental talking thing ?

Caus so far i only seen 2 redheads but they dont seem to be the one

Well maybe that dealer girl

 

[portgasdluigi]

Did we meet the gf of the mc as of yet ? i mend the one that we seen as kids ?

Or is she still just a mental talking thing ?

Caus so far i only seen 2 redheads but they dont seem to be the one

Well maybe that dealer girl

She's the dealer

 

[Drafox]

I made a lengthy comment complimenting the blonde cop lady from the preview pics and expressing how excited I was to discover what kind of person she is because I like hot female cops but that didn't last for long, from the previous posts it seems she's a corrupt person who actively seeks married men to sleep with..Not only that the dev goes into detail to describe to us how she took a hard pounding from said individuals, what a letdown haha...

Edit: They're different people it seems

 

[saitama88]

Android

 

[Bailz]

I made a lengthy comment complimenting the blonde cop lady from the preview pics and expressing how excited I was to discover what kind of person she is because I like hot female cops but that didn't last for long, from the previous posts it seems she's a corrupt person who actively seeks married men to sleep with..Not only that the dev goes into detail to describe to us how she took a hard pounding from said individuals, what a letdown haha...

different person the cop is Tianna, and the slutty girl is Grace

 

[Drafox]

different person the cop is Tianna, and the slutty girl is Grace

There is some hope yet then, I'll try it and make my own judgment, but I'm not as optimistic as I was before.

Before I leave:

Spoiler

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This woman, is she a cop? If so then she will be my main LI if the dev doesn't manage to make her a mess of a character before long that is..

 

[Bailz]

i agree with people 0 interest in Grace what a spectacular way to ruin a LI, Alice is ok, Afina is fine and Tianna seems ok but i dont normally go for older women, but fuck the teacher and the Druggie, im more disappointed that Vanessa is the dealer made her kinda meh for me now

 

[portgasdluigi]

Need to say a few things about the Grace storyline,

The only options for Grace in this situation are:

1. Keep fucking this guy and possibly the others so he doesn't release the videos But if they say there's no NTR then this can't happen in the game (unless they use the BS excuse, "she's not in a relationship with MC so it's not technically NTR" we're treading those grey waters for a lot of people already. (THIS IS OF COURSE THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME AND MAKES GRACE LOOK EVEN WORSE)

2. Refuse and he releases the videos and a bunch of people see them, this a horrible idea for him since it would get him sued to high hell and I'm sure his wife won't be happy. They work at a law firm, how do they not understand how the laws work in this situation?

3. Grace tells MC about what's happening and with MC BEING A COP AND HAVING PULL AT THE STATION and her WORKING AT A LAW FIRM WITH FRIENDS WHO WORK THERE AND KYLIE SEEMS TO LIKE BOTH OF THEM. They could take that guy down so fast and Grace's story would effectively be finished.

So you have to ask yourself, will the characters do the smart, logical thing? Or will they act like helpless idiots to stretch out this terrible story? The more I think about this plot the more it baffles me haha.

 

[portgasdluigi]

There is some hope yet then, I'll try it and make my own judgment, but I'm not as optimistic as I was before.

Before I leave:

Spoiler

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This woman, is she a cop? If so then she will be my main LI if the dev doesn't manage to make her a mess of a character before long that is..

That's Tianna, she's a cop and MC's direct superior at the station

 

[sobstorydev_memes]

just make a super hero harem game and everyone is 25. this is your skillcap.

 

[Johnny Bravo.]

Is our Alice hiding her real age from us?

Spoiler

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[Krampus00]

No no... That's the problem with the game, every girl is dying for MC, and how do you know that? Because you can read their minds, that's the game.

 

[Call of Booty]

I'm waiting to see faces of MC and chief when those 3 go to study at her place on weekend Although its pretty dumb that she didn't told him that her daughter is attending the same college.....

 

[portgasdluigi]

I'm waiting to see faces of MC and chief when those 3 go to study at her place on weekend Although its pretty dumb that she didn't told him that her daughter is attending the same college.....

Yeah, you'd think she'd mention that. There's a lot of "just accept this is what happens" in the writing.

 

[portgasdluigi]

Thanks for the update. Massive amount of content for a first release. Excellent renders. Generally attractive women. MC is kind of interesting. All in all an impressive initial offering, so don't let the nay sayers discourage you.

Now let's address the elephant in the room and talk about the story and the writing.

Spoiler: The basic story

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Unsurprisingly with 10 potential LIs and 4-5 supporting characters to introduce there's a LOT of text to wade through. Several (many) commenters have complained about the various LIs demonstrating immediate interest in the MC. Most of the women in this story are lonely and damaged or broken in some way. There are exceptions, but it is not unreasonable for lonely women who've had bad experiences to be attracted to a good looking warm confident man who treats them with a type of flirtatious respect. Other than Sakae, none of the LIs go further than internally considering their interest or possible interest in the MC, and some don't even do that. So I think the complaints about all of them wanting to immediately jump his bones are over blown.

It's worth exploring a couple of the LI's who've drawn specific complaints.

Spoiler: Sakae

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Spoiler: Grace and the Creep

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In any event. Loved this intro, can't wait for the next update.

Grace story is completely ridiculous if you think about it for half a second. For all the reasons you stated, plus why would that guy release videos of them when he has a wife and kids? It would destroy his home life as well. Let's not forget MC is a cop and it would take one phone call to Tianna to make this fucker disappear. Blackmail, Sexual Harassment, Revenge Porn, yeah you're getting locked up dude.