You know what they say about opinions...
That being said, the inner monologues add detail and a level of sophistication that most VNs lack. There are games that take it too far, as well. One of my favorite VNs, Summer Scent, uses the inner monologue and quite literally repeats the entire day or scene — as if the author thinks the reader isn't going to understand the subtle parts of the story. That is obviously too far.
In this VN, the major gripe regarding inner monologue (or phone conversations) is understanding when each is occurring. There are some people that don't like it at all. [Although, my guess is they prefer to not read longer text or exposition (as a generalization).]
From demo to the first update, there were significant improvements in the text, including the improvement of inner thoughts and differentiation of types of text (thoughts, verbal communication, phone conversation, etc.). Reading the positive reviews, the majority of them mention the high-quality story. That says a lot about the difference between a 3-star and a 5-star VN.
It is impossible to please everyone, especially in this community. My opinion, for what its worth, would be to caution against dumbing down the story. A person can always skip past text they don't want to read. But you will not get another chance to tell the story you want. This VN currently sits firmly in the top dozen or so VNs available on this site. That is due to the story, exposition, and character development, as well as excellent visuals. After all, they are called Visual Novels.
