I’ll take note of that, but you have to remember MC is going undercover he doesn’t want to stand out like an asshole. And have no idea what you mean by MC being cringe Elobrate on that and show me and then I’ll try and make those less in future updates.
Might be coming off as a prick but I take criticism seriously, I will show MC more dominant side but him being that first chapter doesn’t sit well for the story. The goal of the story is not to have sex with all the LI’s you are there to take down the syndicate. But that doesn’t mean this isn’t an AVN you will have relationships don’t worry.
That being said I’ll take your critics and try and improve on them
Exactly I’m trying to establish the story and make sure you guys get to know them well the outer shell of the LI’s you’ll be able to learn more about the after the story progresses
Well first of all I think it's good that you welcome feedback. Because you asked I try to make it more constructive.
That the girls are smug spoiled brats does not surprise me (although it makes them very unlikable). They are all very pretty and from rich families. I'm more bothered by the lack of reaction from the MC. Or his goody goody attitude.
The MC himself comes from a respectable background and is a member of the special forces of the police. And he can't even stand up for himself?
A few examples:
- He constantly says how nice and sweet Alice is, but she is the one who embarrasses him several times (even in front of others) because of a simple compliment (a very harmless, I might add).
- each of the three girls treats him disparagingly, but it's pretended that only Brie is a brat
- not ONCE is there a comeback or simply putting them in their place or turning his back and walking away, no revenge thoughts, nothing ( the Mc is just passive)
- in the conversation with Afina it's pretended she didn't make fun of him with Brie a few minutes ago, instead comes "Haha, no worries. "
- Grace comes back from Sweden after (according to her own statement) leaving him behind when he needed her the most. And before she even starts talking he already starts defending her. Just to be clear I don't expect him to yell at her now, but a civil discussion (as Grace originally intended) about the reasons for her departure and what consequences it had on MC seems to me the better alternative to him immediately caving in and excusing everything.
And the fact that he is undercover does not contradict this. Quite the opposite! Who gets along with everyone in his college days? Nobody will say: "He fights with some guys/girls, that must be an undercover cop!" Being undercover doesn't mean being submissive and passive. Quite the opposite.
P.S. And just to clarify, if you have read that out of my post (although I never wrote that), I don't mind that the game has slow burn romances.