Can we improve the story telling in porn games?

[toolkitxx]

Very true. My partner read what I had at the beginning and she said it was good in terms of keeping you reading and curious about what's next. I probably just have jitters, Overthinking things instead of just practice, practice, practice. I wanted to give it a go as I have a lot more time on my hands right now, so it's a nice little hobby that keeps me occupied. I love the VN concept particularly 3dcg, I suppose the dream is to one day see your work brought to life in a 3d setting.

If your project isnt a commercial one then just let the audience do exactly what your partner did. Throw it out there and let others feedback on it along the way. Authors have editors too because there is no way to get it all right just by yourself (tunnel view and all that). As of the characters and graphics - you can not get that right no matter how much you try Each persons imagination will create their own preferences and the ones that dont use their imagination will be just fine with some standard models. Good girl gone bad is a good example where the graphics can easily be 'meh' but the story and dialogue are pretty well written and keep you involved.

 

[9thCrux]

If someone really wants to learn storytelling, how to write short stories, or even how to write a novel a simple search in his/her favorite search engine is enough to get the basic material they need:
They can get links to video tutorials, links to amazing books about storytelling, they can also learn by reading explained examples, or even find classes they can attend.

But there is a learning curve; they have to practice, read examples, read about styles, and do some trial and error. is something that takes time and practice to do.
The problem is that many people don't have the interest, the drive, the patience, or the time required to become proficient at storytelling.

And lets face it, most of the people trying to make indie porn games are not very smart.
Starting with the type of reactions they get or try to get with their "stories", or even worst, they don't even realize the reactions they're going to get.

It doesn't surprise me to see how people can't connect with most of those stories in porn games.

And then you have -stoner Joe's/Jane's- reactions to the games; some players react like the game is describing their life or how the game SHOULD describe their life and what they, in particular, would think, say, or do in a given situation.
Also those calling the story bad because it doesn't have what they want it to have or if doesn't have enough of the fetishes they want;

"I can take the MC's roll but I want to see more men screwing my girlfriend/wife... I only get off while seeing MEN touching my woman, I can't get horny until I see MEN fucking my girlfriend/wife, you dev need to add MORE MEN so I can get horny..."
Or so the cuck says.


Or the players that react with ambiguous responses (sht that only makes sense to them).
Example:

Some woman tells the MC that she was in prison , then the MC wants to know what happened, what is that she did that got her into prison.

Random Joe/Jane reacts with:
How dare you ask a woman what she did wrong!?
She says she just got out of prison and you're gonna ask what she did!?
Are you really gonna ask A WOMAN what she did wrong?

...
Yeah is not like she could be a psychopath who could harm you or those you love, or a violent neurotic who could try to stab you if you get on her bad side. Yeah, prison is not for people like that... at all...

Well the thing is that some comments will come from weird perspectives and in many instances the writer or dev shouldn't really think much of them.

But if all, or most, of the reactions they get are negative then is time to have a look at their story and do some heavy editing.

On a side note:
If a dev writes shit that involves sodomizing a prepubescent boy wearing women clothes or killing a newborn because he wasn't black then he/she deserves all the shit he/she gets, and I hope he/she gets more.

At the end threads like this feel like complaints or low-key advertising saying that you know more and you're better at writing than the monkeys doing porn games.

You should just make a tutorial or post in dev help instead of making a general discussion entry.

 

[A Nonny Mouse]

Erotic fiction.
The story should be paramount.

No matter how well written, if the story is pants, it's pants. A successful story should poke at the readers emotions at some level, whether that be fear, anger, humour, or excitement, otherwise they may as well be reading toilet paper.

You want to tell me a story?

Then take me by the hand, tell me what I'm seeing?, What's happening? What am I hearing?
Don't tell me how I should feel, just relate to me what my ears and eyes cannot see.
Or in the specific case of a Visual novel, what I cannot hear.

Don't be descriptive, I can already see and visualize what is in front of me, just tell me what they are saying, or doing, Guide me through these images without pulling me, nor holding me back.

At journeys end, did we walk a monotonous straight line? Or did we take little excursions, maybe even skipping, running or maybe falling over at some point?

If it was a sexual journey, did I get aroused? If it was a comical trip, did I laugh?
Either way, if my palms are clammy for forgetfulness that we are still holding hands, then it was a good journey.

If I had to break contact to reach for the space-bar, then you lost me i'm afraid.


Fap VN
Eroticism should be paramount.

You want to tell me a story?

Then point me in the direction, because i'm already using my hand.
Whisper occasionally into my ear, don't shout, just prod my thought processes.
Gently flow information to enhance what I'm seeing.

Don't repeat what you have just told me, I already know she has a tight pussy.
Don't show me the same scenario repeatedly, when there thousands of situations that have not yet been explored.

At journeys end (if we made it that far), Do I feel satisfied? Was it a worthwhile trip?
Did you fuck my head; the way I fucked those pixels?

If you do not wish to shake my hand afterwards, then surely that would be a success?

If we spent too long between destinations and the 'space-bar cab company®' was used, then i'm afraid I'd want reimbursement.

 

[Xalenda]

At the end threads like this feel like complaints or low-key advertising saying that you know more and you're better at writing than the monkeys doing porn games

See, I have to disagree with this sentiment. What I know, and how well I write, doesn’t really matter unless there’s common ground between myself and the reader.

I could write schlock, but if my market and target audience are imbeciles (fuck the story, get to the sex!), then I would be praised for my style. Likewise, if I were to write a grand epic, it would fall flat and be regarded as boring or too ‘wordy’.

You don’t read scientific, peer-reviewed journals on the inner workings of mitochondria if your game has you dating pigeons.

 

[GuyFreely]

Yes, this thread is a complaint. I don't think that was unclear. It's criticism, not of any specific games, but of a general trend in this genre. My hope was that it would be constructive criticism of people trying to help budding writers figure out how to improve their skills. I also want devs to see that the writing is an important part of their game. Again, I don't mean every porn game needs to be an award winning masterpiece. I think there is a bare minimum level of writing that many games fall below. I posted it in General Discussion for visibility. There have been many related threads posted here in the past on specific parts of writing in games, so it doesn't seem out of place. Dev Help is about 99% people trying to figure out Daz or some coding issue. Dev Tools and Guides is more of the same.