VN Ren'Py Casey's Fall [v2023-12] [Sakrilas & VelcroFist]

[Hordragg]

All good. I actually want to thank you for speaking up. It's very helpful to know what might be bothering people. Most people tend to just say "this is stupid" and move on, so you never find out something that might be an easy fix. In this case, the original version of the story was giving some people similar issues. Once I figured out what that was, I was able to add in a short description at the start of each chapter. This game didn't have that so we'll be adding something similar in the next release.

I for one think it's perfectly fine the way it is. A leading paragraph elaborating on (parts of) the world erodes much of my confidence in the author's ability to express it through their narrative.

The story isn't an eye-witness account but a work of fiction, and as such need not conform to the laws of our present day world, even if at first glace it may seem to do. In my opinion it's on to the reader to keep an open mind about what may or may not be possible inside the narrated world. The information about indenture as an alternative to jail time and about the laws regarding (non)registered nudism are all presented at an opportune moment of the story.

If anything, any description or non-narrative world building should be part of a back-cover blurb, so in your case be (prominently) placed on your Patreon page and the original post of this thread. I can't think of any published work I've enjoyed over the past years leading with a paragraph like the one in your second to last post. Which is also way too scientific for my taste, but that's a different point.

And I know this isn't a book club (hence refraining myself from giving concrete examples to the above despite having taken the time to skim though some opening chapters these last minutes) but anyone into a good mix of geekdom, demonology, and James Bond should pick up the second volume of Stross' Laundry Files series. It's also quite spicy a read.

 

[Ven95]

I love the game but 56 renders for month ?
I will have to wait 1 year for 15min of game
see you in 2022

I really want this to be faster too, I really do, who wouldn't. Patience is the way young grashopper, it's a steady pace, there is always progress, I won't complain.

Sounds like lazy writing to me.

There are quite a few points in the story that one could question, the pacing is a little uneven and...you know, I don't want to go into details to spoil the fun, the main point is, the world was build to tell the story. I couldn't imagine how it came to this special set of rules either, but just as a game has rules, this fantasy world has rules. The important point is, does the story obey it's own rules, and that's the case.

 

[VelcroFist]

If anything, any description or non-narrative world building should be part of a back-cover blurb, so in your case be (prominently) placed on your Patreon page and the original post of this thread. I can't think of any published work I've enjoyed over the past years leading with a paragraph like the one in your second to last post. Which is also way too scientific for my taste, but that's a different point.

We've decided on a little addition to the warning at the beginning.

"Thank you for choosing to play Casey's Fall. The story of this game takes place in a fictitious country known as "The State".

For the most part, life is much the same as any other country right now, but there are some differences that will become apparent as the story progresses.

All characters portrayed in this game are over 18. Enjoy."

We also wanted to veer away from inferring it was a sci-fi story. I only use sci-fi as a backdrop in my stories so I can put characters into bizarre situations, but it's not really about the sci-fi as such. The real story is the character development. I like imagining our world with one or two changes (like registered nudity, and if indentured slavery had survived into modern times) and then write about how people live in that reality as if those things were ordinary everyday parts of their lives. One thing I picked up on going over the game again was that we hadn't defined "The State" where Casey lives clearly enough, and that could be cause for confusion for some people as the other aspects are revealed.

 

[NaughtyNyara]

So far I'm really enjoying this game. I love the style and direction it's heading.

I'm (one of the few?) that prefer it staying only ENF, CMNF, CFNF with humiliation.

Personally I don't want to see her forced into having sex/being prostituted; just public exposure and humiliation.

I would love to see (at least in some paths/branches) that Casey is forced to get tattoos (like star or heart outlines on the nipples) and/or permanent piercings that really draw attention.

Such as large rings on the nipples, or weights that stretch the inner labia and make it visible below the hemline.

Perhaps a VCH with a long chain and weight; make them obvious so there's simply no way to hide them w/her clothing to increase her embarrassment.

Maybe that's a requirement for one of her future photo shoots.

And I hope there's a choice that allows her to shave her pubic hair or not. No hair = more pronounced humiliation w/her large inner labia.

So, great job VelcroFist and Sakrilas! I eagerly await the next release!

 

[Joe Steel]

VelcroFist, I think that you can accomplish your objective of letting the readers know that your story is set in an alternate world simply by adding some dialogue between Casey and Amelia at the start along the lines of "Did you hear that Vivian's brother was sentenced to indenture" and then explain what that means. Making the familiar unfamiliar is a time-tested means of involving the reader, without resorting to outright exposition.

 

[VelcroFist]

VelcroFist, I think that you can accomplish your objective of letting the readers know that your story is set in an alternate world simply by adding some dialogue between Casey and Amelia at the start along the lines of "Did you hear that Vivian's brother was sentenced to indenture" and then explain what that means. Making the familiar unfamiliar is a time-tested means of involving the reader, without resorting to outright exposition.

Yep, we did that, but later in the game once an explanation was necessary. For example, when Casey meets Jolene on the trails there's this dialogue and narration:

casey "You know the courts will probably sentence you to indenture for drug-dealing, and no sister of mine is going to go through that."

casey "I've heard what happens to Indents, and their lives are never the same even when their sentences are completed."

"Some years prior, the State had instated a legal form of slavery known as 'Indenture' as punishment for non-violent crimes. It was a cost-effective way of dealing with overcrowded prisons and the burden prisoners placed on the State economy."

However, this is the first mention of "The State" in the game, and I think that was throwing some people off. Whether they were reading it as "the States" and assuming it was in the USA, or it just wasn't clear that it was some other country I'm not sure, but adding that bit to the intro clears that up and also forewarns the player to watch for other things out of the ordinary without giving away too much. Another way could be as you suggest and we add something into the initial dialogue between Amelia and Casey.

 

[ancienregimele]

Played the latest update & enjoyed it. Shopping for new clothes is always a good VN/game scenario. Noticed that there didn't seem to be any new footwear. Surely sensible 'flatties' won't suit the new look? Great stuff anyway. Looking forward to the next segment.

 

[NaughtyNyara]

Wow, VelcroFist; I just discovered how many chapters you've written on Literotica...! Been binging them lol.

While I'm really enjoying them; I'm glad the game has different events!

And I see a few of my ideas in the prior posting you've already done! lol

Anyways, great work! Please keep it up!

 

[Sakrilas]

Wow, VelcroFist; I just discovered how many chapters you've written on Literotica...! Been binging them lol.

While I'm really enjoying them; I'm glad the game has different events!

And I see a few of my ideas in the prior posting you've already done! lol

Anyways, great work! Please keep it up!

I just want to say that I really appreciate the input and suggestions too, we're always looking for feedback and ideas. Since this is a game, it allows us to have very different paths to explore. Day 4, for example, will be providing the first big branching arch.

It's been really fun re-imagining some events and/or adding new characters to the game to keep things a bit different from the Literotica. (btw, I totally agree with you, VelcroFist is amazing, I loved reading his Casey's Falls chapters. It's been great working with him in this game.)

PS: If you haven't yet, I would really appreciate if you could consider

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, NaughtyNyara . That's a good please to give suggestions to the project.

 

[number361]

Any news on your update? Can't wait till the entire first week is released...I'll be patient till then. And as always I wish we could just have an even bigger bush for the MC.

 

[Sakrilas]

Any news on your update? Can't wait till the entire first week is released...I'll be patient till then. And as always I wish we could just have an even bigger bush for the MC.

Hold on tight!
We aim to release updates in the middle point of each month at a Friday. The next one is planned for August, Friday the 13th.

Thanks for showing interest in the game

 

[Deleted member 1637196]

Hey Sakrilas, Can we get to see a preview before the update?

 

[Sakrilas]

Hey Sakrilas, Can we get to see a preview before the update?

Sure thing!

This weekend I posted a quick sneak peek in our discord channel.




And here's a full render from the next release:

Spoiler: A new photoshoot

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I'm looking forward to sharing the next release. <3

 

[CSLysander]

I am so wanting this update and shoot to follow the story that was written dealing with the shaving. The way she was thinking was amazing.

 

[number361]

I am so wanting this update and shoot to follow the story that was written dealing with the shaving. The way she was thinking was amazing.

I'm not sure what is happening due to my self imposed restraint for waiting till the first week is finished..but please tell me we will not get rid of the bush. I love that, I wish it would be even bushier. We don't have enough games like this or "Beauty and the Thug"...

 

[Hordragg]

I'm not sure what is happening due to my self imposed restraint for waiting till the first week is finished..but please tell me we will not get rid of the bush. I love that, I wish it would be even bushier. We don't have enough games like this or "Beauty and the Thug"...

If the game closely followed

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then yes, the bush would go. As it stands, they're deviating from the source material in parts (as a way to keep it fresh as well as for VelcroFist to explore other possibilities in telling their story) so they may be planing a path were she keeps it. Or at least they may be willing to – depending on feedback.

Oh, you could also join

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. They've been quite happy to discuss game as well as story over there.

 

[CSLysander]

Oh, you could also join

You must be registered to see the links

. They've been quite happy to discuss game as well as story over there.

I am part of their Discord, the problem is that for some reason this computer and Discord have a hate filled relationship that ends in nonconsentual pain.

 

[number361]

If the game closely followed

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then yes, the bush would go. As it stands, they're deviating from the source material in parts (as a way to keep it fresh as well as for VelcroFist to explore other possibilities in telling their story) so they may be planing a path were she keeps it. Or at least they may be willing to – depending on feedback.

Oh, you could also join

You must be registered to see the links

. They've been quite happy to discuss game as well as story over there.

I really hope so, we don't see games where the MC has a..well.. a normal looking pussy. Like normal normal. Most of them look like a plastic barbie cutoff. Shaving the bush would be a major negative point for me, and I believe for many others.

 

[smnb]

 

[Budvar]

Great until now! IMO the pacing in terms of risky nudity is a bit to high, so I would prefer a little bit slower corruption, but that's only my thing. The MC reminds me of Legendarylootz (the body). One of the best models I've seen so far. Well done!