Not a bad game. I was certainly surprised at how cinematic it was attempting to be, as not many Renpy games attempt to do actual animation angles for non-sexual action views. There were some weird awkward pauses though, and sometimes I accidentally skipped cutscenes, because it seemed like the initial view was all there was, but then someone would walk into the scene. Maybe add a visual cue to the movies, like a small spinning arrow or a green button to indicate that you should watch for more than a few seconds. While I'm sure you want to set a "cinematic tone" for some scenes, it's still a game, so don't be afraid to embrace that.
Final Fantasy 7, one of the most widely acclaimed games ever, attempts it's best to be very cinematic, but it has a feature where when you press the select button, icons will pop up on the screen to indicate where you can walk to and interact with. When I was younger, I always liked that feature and over the years was always confused why the games that copied it didn't keep that option, as it's really cumbersome to wander around the edge of a map and "guess" where you can walk to shift scenes. Anyway, my point is, don't be afraid to make your game more user friendly.
I also want to compliment the details put into the girls themselves. A lot of people just make pretty basic characters, with maybe some glasses, and call it a day, but that's kind of boring. It was nice to see that each girl kind of had their own style, immediately recognizable hair color, tattoos and what not. Don't be afraid to customize the girls further and give them more "visual personality", like piercings (both regular and naughty).
Just don't go nuts and overdo it, by covering them head to toe in tattoos markings. For instance, I found Layla's character design really sexy, but later on, most of that "seductive appeal" she clearly relies on went away when she put clothes on, covering her sexy stuff stuff up. I naturally assumed that her "lingerie-style" top with jean shorts and the hole in the back was her normal outfit (it made her look like a rave girl, which felt appropriate), so it felt weird went she put on a conservative gown later.
The game visuals looked a little fuzzy to me, though. Either the resolution isn't quite right, or its an issue with Koikatu or whatever older engine the characters exist on. Also, the lighting felt a bit too bright sometimes, which makes the light-skinned girls harder to see. One girl even had a light-skinned body, but a darker face, which didn't make much sense.
I'm not sure if how much use it would be to you, in terms of legality or whatever, but we have the more recently "naughty anime animation games" available here, like Artifical Acadamy 2, Honey Select and I think there's a Koikatu 2 now. I don't have all that stuff installed anymore, so I don't quite recall all of their names, but all that naughty stuff by Illusion.
The overall story wasn't bad. I can appreciate a fun dystopian world covered with vague laws and what not, so more of that.
Anyway, long rant, but good luck working on your game.