Capt_Kirk
Member
- Jan 9, 2020
- 346
- 895
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very let down by the conclusion of the story , a lot of the threads that were still hanging on by the end of the last chapter , got resolve in minutes or got resolve out of screen . (frustrating very frustrating)
#Mc returning home : that should've been one of the most emotional scenes in the avn ( chapter 8 should've ended with this scene) the whole arc on this story started the moment Mc left home and should've ended with Mc returning home , this could've been the right time for Mc and Jaye to really mourne their parents .
just imagine Mc crying because the last time he was on his parents room they were there sleeping on their bed and now Mc is watching their empty bed , while Jaye is crying hugging the Mc as strongly as she can becuase in that moment she realized the same .
this scene doesn't need any dialogue , to be impactful and emotional.
#Jaye /Tara /Mc : reunion got resolve out of screen (throuple that made sense) , Tara was into Jaye and the Mc and she was sexually involve with both of them , that was a scene that should've been in this update.
#Peanut and her Mom: talking about her being cured should've been in the update .
#Mallory /Mc/Peanut : (throuple that made sense) talking about how thing will be from now on , now that the 3 of them are together because that was a new experience for both Mallory and Peanut .
#the cabin scene should've been longer to finish stablishing the characters and their relationships or to set up the Jaye/Mallory throuple . (easily that cabin scene should've been at least a week of them sharing more intimate stories and growing their friendship).
for some reason this chapter lacks any kind of emotional beat (with the exception of the dog scene) , the chapter felt mundane and empty .
this are my ramblings after finishing this Avn.
#Mc returning home : that should've been one of the most emotional scenes in the avn ( chapter 8 should've ended with this scene) the whole arc on this story started the moment Mc left home and should've ended with Mc returning home , this could've been the right time for Mc and Jaye to really mourne their parents .
just imagine Mc crying because the last time he was on his parents room they were there sleeping on their bed and now Mc is watching their empty bed , while Jaye is crying hugging the Mc as strongly as she can becuase in that moment she realized the same .
this scene doesn't need any dialogue , to be impactful and emotional.
#Jaye /Tara /Mc : reunion got resolve out of screen (throuple that made sense) , Tara was into Jaye and the Mc and she was sexually involve with both of them , that was a scene that should've been in this update.
#Peanut and her Mom: talking about her being cured should've been in the update .
#Mallory /Mc/Peanut : (throuple that made sense) talking about how thing will be from now on , now that the 3 of them are together because that was a new experience for both Mallory and Peanut .
#the cabin scene should've been longer to finish stablishing the characters and their relationships or to set up the Jaye/Mallory throuple . (easily that cabin scene should've been at least a week of them sharing more intimate stories and growing their friendship).
for some reason this chapter lacks any kind of emotional beat (with the exception of the dog scene) , the chapter felt mundane and empty .
this are my ramblings after finishing this Avn.