From Subscribestar
"Finally breaking the silence. Not too sure what to say, as you might have noticed by now, I'm pretty terrible at communication and just giving updates in general on any platform. I'm not here to make excuses or expect sympathy, but in short I just haven't been feeling the best and I even struggled to perform basic everyday things for some time. I believe I've also experienced a little bit of burnout when making some of these videos.
It would be as simple as making a short post letting everyone know that I'll be away or something, but instead I always opt to just close in or make hasty decisions (and these decisions usually turn out to be a misstep afterwards) such as deleting my discord this time, which creates confusion and possibly disappointment for people. I have been working on a video for the past few weeks actually, but I still decided to delay this post because I know I'll feel guilty. And idk, it seems selfish to do that, like I'm just afraid of facing reality, so I'd rather just stay silent. But then by doing that I just disappoint people who sub here waiting for new content, it's not a good treatment from me. So yeah I'm not very happy with my actions or myself, and I'm also sorry for always doing this. If I had a "real" job instead of this subscribestar thing, I'd probably be unemployed right now lol, since I most likely would've been fired or I would've quit by myself. So I should be grateful for that, or actually grateful for those of you who still stick around here.
I'm really not into social media stuff and I don't even talk to people in general, but I should at least give you guys some message or anything, I will make sure to keep this in mind. I also keep real life stuff or any issue that I'm dealing with to myself, I'm just used to that. Basically I just deal with problems in a weird and unhealthy way I feel like, and I want to change that. And the first step would be not going silent everywhere when I have some not so good times, but I really really want to avoid quitting at all cost, I would like to keep making content in skyrim, it's something I enjoy a lot and it's just a good way to distract my mind. But let's get the negativity out of the way... there was a lot of random ranting from me I feel like.
For this month I still want to take things lightly, I will finish the latest video and slowly start working on a new video, and I also don't plan on changing the album link until I have a good schedule that works. Which means you don't have to stay subbed if you don't feel like and you'll still have access to the album, the link hasn't changed in quite a few months...
That being said, I still have all the plans in mind I had before, in case some of you don't know I started working on a website as well, you'll find characters, pictures, you can browse videos and other things... it's just a little side project. And some more unique videos with custom animations that I paid for, also new VAs. But it's all just talk, I hope you guys will see from me that I do try to improve, both in communication and content wise.
I fully understand if some of you were left disappointed again. Or if you found a different content creator, lost interest, or anything else. Right now the best I can do is to say that I'm genuinely sorry and I will do better. I also want to share pictures of the website that I've been working on, I did share them on discord already. I will also try to get back on discord very soon, probably in a few days. And if you haven't seen it already, there is also a trailer of the upcoming video on pixeldrain, I'm just waiting for the voice actress to finish recording, she should be recording this week.
Here is the trailer link:
Pixeldrain
As you can see the moans and other sounds are still missing from the character, I'll add them as soon as they're recorded and render the full video, which should be around 36 minutes in length, so a pretty long video.
And now some screenshots of the website I've been working on, I haven't touched this in a few months but I do want to get back to it, I think it has potential ^^ I will talk about it more in detail later, I just didn't want to come back empty handed...
This is the characters section, I'll have most notable characters here, some background info about them and other interesting things. Could be fun to browse.
I'm still designing this and might just end up totally changing it, but basically you'll be able to search for videos, filter them etc, and hopefully I can also make it so that you can watch videos directly from the website instead of having to go to pixeldrain.
So yeah right now it's pretty simple nothing too fancy, but it's something... I will give more updates on the site as I'm working on it, and I'm also looking for ideas/feedback.
And I just remembered I have also been banned from pixiv unfortunately, so that was also a bit sad. I hope it's a welcome surprise for some of you to see a post after so long. Unfortunately no full length video yet, but as I mentioned above it's only a matter of days, I'm just waiting for MeringueLaFee to finish her final recording. I hope the trailer creates a bit of hype for some of you and let me know if you have ideas for the website or anything, I just didn't want to come back empty handed. I will try my absolute best to be more communicative from now on, I want to post weekly or even more frequently, even if it's just a small update, just to let you guys know what's going on. I hope I'll be able to earn back your trust again, even if I can't stay 100% consistent all the time, communication should be the key and it'll be my focus.
(And sorry if there are multiple images... I can't seem to fix/edit them)"