- Jan 9, 2021
- 2,008
- 2,872
This game needs work on conversations, and a proofreader (Samir calling his sister "my brother")
The characters mostly pose like they're telling the story to the player, which by itself can work if the conversation is carrying the story, but the writing is somewhat flat and very minimal in it's current state. Use monologues/thoughts and the conversations to bring the characters to life... Don't go surprising your brother, exchange 3 sentences and let a stranger drop you off...
Use the first chapter to introduce the characters and their activities/university... We now get a speeddate introduction and besides their names we have very little information about these characters...
Also work on the choice system is highly advised, the female MC is just a few choices away from getting into a sexual situation and the choices are too basic to end with that result.... You should not need to be an asshole just to avoid these guys and being nice should not immediately result in getting groped etc.. And if you get groped there should be a choice to slap the guy if this comes out of nowhere... Build up to situations with clear choices...
And good luck dev!
The characters mostly pose like they're telling the story to the player, which by itself can work if the conversation is carrying the story, but the writing is somewhat flat and very minimal in it's current state. Use monologues/thoughts and the conversations to bring the characters to life... Don't go surprising your brother, exchange 3 sentences and let a stranger drop you off...
Use the first chapter to introduce the characters and their activities/university... We now get a speeddate introduction and besides their names we have very little information about these characters...
Also work on the choice system is highly advised, the female MC is just a few choices away from getting into a sexual situation and the choices are too basic to end with that result.... You should not need to be an asshole just to avoid these guys and being nice should not immediately result in getting groped etc.. And if you get groped there should be a choice to slap the guy if this comes out of nowhere... Build up to situations with clear choices...
And good luck dev!