VN Ren'Py Completed Confusion [v1.0.1] [AVNSnax]

[exazubi]

Thanks for the kind evaluation. I have a real problem with VNs that just seem to keep going on forever. I know why devs do it--if they find a formula that works, they won't want to take a chance on jeopardizing the steady support they've garnered on Patreon and SubscribeStar for a new project. Confusion was always meant to be a short story. Well, a novella maybe. It follows a fairly standard Hero's Journey template. It's a ten-chapter story--Alex confronts her sexuality by the end of chapter 5. By the end of chapter 6, Alex is content and has come to terms with herself. I would consider that an up, no? But then she's forced down another path after chapter 7, and the rest of the story is about her coming back once and for all.

The plot points are simplistic. The few sub-plots through the story, like Kevin's motivations or Zoey's affectations, aren't exactly hidden to the point of being a surprise by the last chapter. But that's typical of short stories, unless your name is O'Henry and your story is predicated on a surprise plot twist.

This wasn't a SOTP effort. The story and dialogue was written start to finish before I ever started rendering images. Sure, I modified some of the dialogue when I added interactivity to the story to make it make sense. But the story is unchanged from the original, which is why there is really only one main path at the end. Is it the best story that can be written? Hardly, and I've been, um, "told" by some that it's not very good at all. Are there ways it could have been improved? Absolutely. More sex? Maybe, but I felt that adding more sex just for its own sake would have detracted from the story overall. But I would push back and say that no one can ever meet everyone's expectations. And all I can do is provide the best expression of the story that I wanted to tell. And, that I hope that I'm improving with each release.

I'd say the story itself is fine. And it doesn't need any more sex. But the focus was too strong on the drama. On the other hand, the scenes in between, the perfect world outside of the drama, were given too little attention. I'm writing a fantasy novel for my own personal use. It's naturally a highly dramatic story with a plot that's approaching a finale that's already largely written. It's divided into several books, each covering a part of the main story, each with a light, harmonious part and its own dramatic finale. That's what I mean by ups and downs. There's drama, there are moments of calm, then drama again. It's an art to find the balance here and to draw the reader, or in the case of a game, the player, along.

And here, in this game, I'm experiencing what I've often experienced in real life: There are people who are a fantastic help when you're in a life crisis, but they don't know what to do with themselves or us in peaceful times. And I see that in the game, too. The dramatic moments are really very, very well written. But the peaceful moments in between and at the end are neglected. Especially at the end, the entire epilogue with all the characters you've met and what's happening to them now—you see almost only text, but hardly any accompanying images. Accordingly, you hardly feel anything of the happy ending.

---

It's the same as if my characters in my books had just gone through a difficult, dramatic battle, which was fantastically written. Afterward, they have sex, treat themselves to an ice cream cone, whatever. And I only dismiss this happy ending by writing it like this: "Now they have sex," "Now they treat themselves to a cup of ice cream." (In my books nobody eats ice cream, it's a metaphor) Does that resonate with the reader? No!

If that's the end of the story, I have to write the sex as if the reader were right there, so that if they just let themselves in, they can see the images, see and feel everything. They have to feel warm in their heart and in their loins. If it's eating ice cream, the reader has to visualize the sundae and almost taste it.

And that's not easy. But since I don't have any pictures in a book, I have to play with my words. In games, on the other hand, it's more the pictures that convey the message. In the game, the dramatic parts are well-written, even really cool. But not the peaceful parts, which lack the finishing touches.

 

[AVNSnax]

I'd say the story itself is fine. And it doesn't need any more sex. But the focus was too strong on the drama. On the other hand, the scenes in between, the perfect world outside of the drama, were given too little attention. I'm writing a fantasy novel for my own personal use. It's naturally a highly dramatic story with a plot that's approaching a finale that's already largely written. It's divided into several books, each covering a part of the main story, each with a light, harmonious part and its own dramatic finale. That's what I mean by ups and downs. There's drama, there are moments of calm, then drama again. It's an art to find the balance here and to draw the reader, or in the case of a game, the player, along.

And here, in this game, I'm experiencing what I've often experienced in real life: There are people who are a fantastic help when you're in a life crisis, but they don't know what to do with themselves or us in peaceful times. And I see that in the game, too. The dramatic moments are really very, very well written. But the peaceful moments in between and at the end are neglected. Especially at the end, the entire epilogue with all the characters you've met and what's happening to them now—you see almost only text, but hardly any accompanying images. Accordingly, you hardly feel anything of the happy ending.

---

And that's not easy. But since I don't have any pictures in a book, I have to play with my words. In games, on the other hand, it's more the pictures that convey the message. In the game, the dramatic parts are well-written, even really cool. But not the peaceful parts, which lack the finishing touches.

Like I said, I can't please everybody. I'm sure your novel will be great. Confusion was originally a short story that was 42 pages long. Hardly an expansive novel. If my intention was to write a novel, I'd have structured it very differently. That's what I was trying to say about expectations. Confusion is supposed to be about the anguish that some people who are deemed "unacceptably" different by society experience, and how that can be overcome. It takes place over a few months of one summer, and the epilogue is supposed to show that even in these kinds of circumstances that life can still be happy in the end. I'm sorry that the form of that story didn't meet your expectations, but thank you again for your kind words.

 

[Mudrsa]

What's the difference between pre-patched and non-patched?

 

[seaoflove]

I played this. Didn't really care for the game. I'll break it down as to why I disliked the game:

The protagonist is way too dramatic. Every little thing is drama. It's never like "I'm just gonna be chill for 5 minutes and relax." If it's not one thing it's another. It's always some crisis and one right after another after another. Blowing small things out of proportion often times. Very neurotic. It's always something negative.

From a story telling perspective: To properly portray negative emotions the writer needs to also be balancing characters out with a sufficient amount of positive emotions.

So, for example if you are a writing a very depressed character like the protagonist of this. It's important to also include a good source of comfort for them that is something they enjoy. Perhaps a video game they love and play a lot could be source of positive to balance out their negative, or maybe they are a fan of some band or sports team, or they like some obscure show or comic book something or a book series... Something... Anything!

The protagonist doesn't have anything like that. It's just all shit. They are basically like "I hate everything, and everyone sucks, and I'm always the victim. My life just sucks I got nothing good."

The next problem is choices. Many seem to not matter significantly in the grand scheme of things. It's like a complex web for I think for like only 2 endings... There are few endings given the number of choices.

It doesn't feel like a completed game. It feels like a rushed ending.

They don't even have pregnancy variants in the endings. A number of times in the game you get to creampie various different girls and have that pregnancy risk. No baby is ever shown. No growing belly is even shown. They don't even do a "Token Nod" to the pregnancy endings. Like the dev didn't even bother doing a single render of each of the girls you can knock up with a big belly.

Then other times you get forced into going on a date with this one guy. You never get to choose to date this guy or not. Then you don't even get to choose how far you go with him, or well it goes or not? You never fuck that guy or any other guy in the game. The protagonist is a character that goes on dates with guys, but never willingly engages in any sort of sex act with any guy?

As a dev If you are going to go that route... That's fine! The t-girl protagonist don't need to be sucking off these dudes, or getting fucked by them. If don't want to make that content... Fine! But don't tease at it by putting you in a forced date with one of the guys! Don't imply there will be male on t-girl action if there is no intent of it ever at all! That is just misleading!

Characters are also often way too one dimensional. I'm talking like totally black and white. Either they are a good or bad in the world of the protagonist. There is no moral gray area. It's either they are an evil monster or an angel to the protagonist.

The bully is especially bad at this... The bully was originally written as what could have been an interesting character. I was thinking, 'This guy is really an asshole, but perhaps this guy is like an onion. Maybe he has layers, and after he is unraveled a bit there will be some good in there. I see some real room for growth here!"

Did the writer think the same as me? No... He is just simply bad. Just a force of evil he may as well be saying: "Me Smash! Me Rape! Me dick small! That why me mad! GRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Then they force it so the bully got a little cock... He should have had a nice big cock! But okay they went the little cock route... Okay? So can you like get him to wear a chastity cage, and do small cock humiliation, and maybe feminize him or something? No...

Is there any way to get personal revenge on the guy, or is it always just the cops? Nah... It never gets personal... It's always just the police come and he goes away. You don't get to beat the guy up, or kill him, or ruin him in some way for all the shit he does.. Nah, just the cops.

Can you even play with his cock when it's seen at the glory hole? No... Just laugh at it, or walk away. How you gonna do a glory hole scene but then never actually use the glory hole for it's intended purpose!

 

[returner]

just because you creampie'd a girl doesn't mean that she will get pregnant.
they could be taking pills, MC was taking HRT maybe that affected their efficacy a bit, maybe the girls were stuffed at a bad timing.
fertility is not a fixed stat.
this is the point I disagree with the most.

 

[mrwebmaster]

game Completed?

 

[WaltS]

game Completed?

That's what it says at the top of the page ...

 

[msleomac]

Hi
Thanks for the patch earlier. Do you have the latest version?
Thanks

 

[turgsh01]

Hi
Thanks for the patch earlier. Do you have the latest version?
Thanks

 

[NoWay Jose]

just because you creampie'd a girl doesn't mean that she will get pregnant.
they could be taking pills, MC was taking HRT maybe that affected their efficacy a bit, maybe the girls were stuffed at a bad timing.
fertility is not a fixed stat.
this is the point I disagree with the most.

What are you talking about? A woman can get pregnant even if she doesn't get creampied because sperm cells don't live behind some magical gate that doesn't open until you cum. FAFO. Porn videos and games are training generations of stupids how to become parents before they're ready to be. The game has a pregnancy tag. In the game for Chris to get pregnant you have to cum inside her two times and say that you're okay with having kids when she asks. They talk constantly about how they're not using protection and how Chris never got any birth control. So did you do all of these things and are still upset that she gets pregnant?

 

[Kennnielll]

Wow, that was fast. I posted the VN to itch.io last night at 9pm and hadn't gotten around to creating an entry here yet. And yet, the following morning here it is.

How do I go about claiming this VN as my own?

My daughter gimme the walkthough plsss

 

[AVNSnax]

My daughter gimme the walkthough plsss

There isn't a walkthrough, as there's nothing to "win." If you want more sexual situations, choose to be forward and devilish when you get the chance. But the intent of the story is to just to make choices the way you would if you were in the situation.

 

[AVNSnax]

I've gotten some messages from people asking me about the situation this week with Steam, and now, itch.io. At the risk of repeating myself:

I don't know if it's really a done deal or not, at least to the extent that Confusion is concerned. Steam still (at least for now) has most of their adult content on line. So far, they've just eliminated blatantly violating content like incest, sex with minors, and sexual violence. I believe itch.io will come to the same conclusion eventually. All that itch.io has done today is remove adult content from their search algorithm--you can still go directly to the pages if you know the URLs.

You must be registered to see the links

There are only a couple of things in Confusion that might cause concerns, and these are relatively easily removed if need be. But the moment that they disallow any such content, then a whole bunch of movies, books, and graphic novels are going to be banned as well. I fear a much bigger fight is coming, with organizations like Collective Shout taken to task for promoting violation of First Amendment protections. Nabokov's Lolita and Burgess' A Clockwork Orange come to mind. That's why we have a ratings system for movies and console games. We'll see.

 

[AVNSnax]

P.S. You can sign the change.org petition

You must be registered to see the links

. For all the good it will do...

 

[ippotimmo]

Nabokov's Lolita and Burgess' A Clockwork Orange

and Game of Thrones

 

[AVNSnax]

-PSA-

Ah, the good ol' days. Like, just one year ago:

Steam does not care about incest, rape, almost all things Patreon doesn't like, you don't even need a patch to put it on Steam. There are literally a million and one games on Steam with incest...I own a good chunk of them

Steam only cares about "underage", high school settings, and copyrighted content in game.

Hate to say "I told you so," but . . .

If you haven't yet, please click on over to change.org and add your name to the

You must be registered to see the links

petition. It's just about to cross 200,000 signatures and is growing rapidly.

A lot has come out in the last few days about what Collective Shout, payment processors, and oppressive government overreach is threatening to inflict on us if they're not challenged today. Remember when Detroit: Become Human was targeted because it featured a fictional android child being abused, off-screen? And GTA V because, well, it's GTA V? Collective Shout got those titles pulled from shelves in K-Mart and Walmart. Sure, it was in Australia, but it was a test campaign that eventually led to the attacks this past year on adult porn websites. And now, games that are otherwise legal to sell and to own.

If no one can sell their games, then there's little reason for them to be developed. And, there won't be much call for a pirate website to download those non-existent titles. Please act today.

 

[crackheaded_d]

-PSA-

Ah, the good ol' days. Like, just one year ago:

Hate to say "I told you so," but . . .

If you haven't yet, please click on over to change.org and add your name to the

You must be registered to see the links

petition. It's just about to cross 200,000 signatures and is growing rapidly.

A lot has come out in the last few days about what Collective Shout, payment processors, and oppressive government overreach is threatening to inflict on us if they're not challenged today. Remember when Detroit: Become Human was targeted because it featured a fictional android child being abused, off-screen? And GTA V because, well, it's GTA V? Collective Shout got those titles pulled from shelves in K-Mart and Walmart. Sure, it was in Australia, but it was a test campaign that eventually led to the attacks this past year on adult porn websites. And now, games that are otherwise legal to sell and to own.

If no one can sell their games, then there's little reason for them to be developed. And, there won't be much call for a pirate website to download those non-existent titles. Please act today.

I signed the petition, I hope we can deal with the idiots who are around us =)

 

[defrancofan67]

Thanks for your feedback, and I appreciate the time and thought you put into it. I have rationales for why the story is as it is, but you don't want to hear my justifications. Just keep in mind that this was a trial-by-fire first effort, and I hope to show what I've learned in the future. Thanks again.

Hey so I just wanna say this before ultimately venting my critique I absolutely loved the game it had incredible writing, gorgeous visuals, and it made me emotional a lot (not joking I cried a few times as it resonated with my experiences of being bi or pan I guess? and more on the feminine side).

I wish you great luck on your next project and I hope you are able to post this game to Steam so I can buy it.

Only thing I didn't particularly like was the ending and in specific not having a "harem" ending of sorts (and the gallery being kinda bad in that you cant replay a favorite scene but instead just look at the pretty pictures but that's fairly minor in the grand scheme of things).

This is honesty just a me thing but ever since I watched Wayne's World when I was young I always liked the "mega happy ending" where even the bad guy learns their lesson and gets an unexpected but cathartic ending in the instance of this game maybe Kevin loses all his muscle because all the prison guys are bigger and stronger than him and pick on him for jerking it to trans women and he ends up the transitioning inmate that get's booty sexed in the shower and gets tenfold what Alex got but ultimately ends up a better person for it.

Also I really felt like everyone started getting really close by the end but then everyone goes their separate ways and grow apart sometimes not even on the best of terms.

Sammy ghosting Alex felt super out of character and a bit mean spirited to the point of feeling like what happened to Susan Pevensie at the end of Chronicles of Narnia just BOOM character assassination at the end of the book.

Glenn just seemed super lonely at the end despite kinda seeming like she'd end up with Suzie or Alex or both (Suzie specifically because of everything they did when they were young and the fact she came and stayed with her at the drop of a hat to comfort her).

Ellie kinda made sense to be distant because of everything she did but I was hoping in the end they could patch things up after what happened to her like maybe she'd finally have something her and Alex could bond over since they both went through that particular thing and actually hang out (possibly a sex scene if they ended up getting really close and maybe even part of the harem).

Becca moving away at the drop of a hat and just going "lol just kidding not actually going back to school see ya never Alex" felt tacked on like you didn't have anything planned for her.

Zoey I felt like could've made for a good threesome partner for Alex and Chris that's kinda like their "pet" of sorts.

Basically just having the ending be even though Alex went through all that horrible shit she ended up with a big happy harem where they're all in love and even baby sit when her and one of the girls inevitably want a date or when one of the girls wants a date with one of the other girls Alex returns the favor and the bad guys got what they deserve but end up better people after their punished in basically the exact way they hurt Alex (I suppose kinda like the ending of one of my favorite adult games Snow Daze with the harem aspect now that I think about it).

I did really love the aspect of Alex and Chris's kid coming out to Alex after their big happy reunion though that part was great.

 

[AVNSnax]

Hey so I just wanna say this before ultimately venting my critique I absolutely loved the game it had incredible writing, gorgeous visuals, and it made me emotional a lot (not joking I cried a few times as it resonated with my experiences of being bi or pan I guess? and more on the feminine side).

I wish you great luck on your next project and I hope you are able to post this game to Steam so I can buy it.

Glad you liked it!

As I've said many times, the story was written over three years ago during the pandemic. It started out as a short story, then a Twine story, then migrated to a visual novel, and only after I started implementing the game did I decide to add interactivity. So that's my excuse. The original story flowed pretty much the way the game ended up. The only real change overall was the different endings for side characters.

The couple of new titles I have in development are written from the beginning with interactivity in mind, so...

As far as characters falling into and out of Alex's life, that pretty much reflected real life for me. I don't have the same friends I did when I was 20. I can't count how many "loves" I've had in my life that just, you know, faded away without fanfare. And commenting about the way the plot goes, I'd guess you can say the same thing about any story. I wish Harry ended up with Hermione, but it wasn't my story and Rowling thought that was the way it should go. And harems are inherently fictional. I don't know anyone with one, do you? I don't feel like Confusion was that kind of story.

The Steam version of Confusion is done. I'm just treading water waiting for the whole Collective Shout controversy to die down before I push it to Steam.

 

[defrancofan67]

Glad you liked it!

As I've said many times, the story was written over three years ago during the pandemic. It started out as a short story, then a Twine story, then migrated to a visual novel, and only after I started implementing the game did I decide to add interactivity. So that's my excuse. The original story flowed pretty much the way the game ended up. The only real change overall was the different endings for side characters.

The couple of new titles I have in development are written from the beginning with interactivity in mind, so...

As far as characters falling into and out of Alex's life, that pretty much reflected real life for me. I don't have the same friends I did when I was 20. I can't count how many "loves" I've had in my life that just, you know, faded away without fanfare. And commenting about the way the plot goes, I'd guess you can say the same thing about any story. I wish Harry ended up with Hermione, but it wasn't my story and Rowling thought that was the way it should go. And harems are inherently fictional. I don't know anyone with one, do you? I don't feel like Confusion was that kind of story.

The Steam version of Confusion is done. I'm just treading water waiting for the whole Collective Shout controversy to die down before I push it to Steam.

Great to know about the Steam version being ready to go as soon as the drama dies down because I'm ready to buy it as soon as I find out it's up. This whole censorship campaign against adult games has been a massive pain.