VN Ren'Py Onhold Corrupted Hearts [v0.7 Part B] [Sinful Studios]

[siath70]

Maybe you'd better develop your own game, which of course will be more interesting than the game "Corrupted Hearts" and post it here! It would be interesting to compare...

Sorry I offered the Dev help and hurt your feelings.

I do not have the skills to make a game, I am however an author and editor. I can offer those skills to the Dev on a game I'm interested in.

But, maybe you can do the rendering, I'll write the story and see what we get. You game for that? I mean since you offered and all, I figured you and I can build a team and get going on this project.
I mean why open your mouth like that unless you're willing to help make something great.

Oh, and perhaps you can be a bit less condescending in your post.

 

[freehall]

We want more anna content!!!!!!

 

[Adhdclassic]

When this is all said and done, Alan will not find out about the sex with Leon through X. Leon is going to tell him to gloat about it. A Pleasant ending will be Clara walks in and hears Leon telling Alan she had a mans dick why would she go back to as she said a small dick. Alan shocked is about to say something when Clara walks in Alan walks towards her takes off his ring gives it to her and walks out. Clara looking at the ring, Leon approaches her and puts his hand on her shoulder. She kicks him full strength in his balls and she leaves looking for her husband. Week later divorce papers show up at her door, she's drinking in her home when a text from X comes in with video attachment of Leon telling Anna that Clara is most likely the mole. Clara pissed goes to her basement and gets something from her vault. Goes to Leons house he is not home she goes to the bathroom injects slow acting poison in his toothpaste. She goes to Alans apartment rings the bell and Anna answers. Clara angry lunges at Anna but Anna sidesteps and twist Claras arm behind her then breaks her ring finger. Anna whispers in Claras ear You were easy to play with and Leon was to set on screwing over Alan. So getting Leon to fuck you after you saw me kiss Alan was too easy. You will sign the divorce papers without issue. Clara says I will tell Alan that it was you. Clara you lost if you don't do what I said just like in the beginning. Alan will get an anonymous email of you in the movie theater getting felt up and fingered, you deepthroating gunnar, you fucking Leon not once but twice and you fucking Mr.Brown and son. Mattering on if you keep pissing me off maybe I will send the company a video of you killing Leon. Death by toothpaste Ingenius. So be a good cumdumpster and do as I said clear. Clara with tears going down her face said clear. Anna let her go and told her you sign those papers ask for a transfer and never show your face again. Next day Leon was found dead in his car. Autopsy couldn't find cause looked like a heart attack. Clara got a transfer overseas her handler who was known for incompetence led her directly into a trap where she was killed. 1 month later Anna was on a flight when the onboard computer malfunctioned and crashed in the water. As this news was happening Alan was just closing his laptop. Night Clara came to his house he heard everything Anna said and when Clara died on the mission. His heart broke again but this time he had a target for is rage.

 

[MoBy28]

When this is all said and done, Alan will not find out about the sex with Leon through X. Leon is going to tell him to gloat about it. A Pleasant ending will be Clara walks in and hears Leon telling Alan she had a mans dick why would she go back to as she said a small dick. Alan shocked is about to say something when Clara walks in Alan walks towards her takes off his ring gives it to her and walks out. Clara looking at the ring, Leon approaches her and puts his hand on her shoulder. She kicks him full strength in his balls and she leaves looking for her husband. Week later divorce papers show up at her door, she's drinking in her home when a text from X comes in with video attachment of Leon telling Anna that Clara is most likely the mole. Clara pissed goes to her basement and gets something from her vault. Goes to Leons house he is not home she goes to the bathroom injects slow acting poison in his toothpaste. She goes to Alans apartment rings the bell and Anna answers. Clara angry lunges at Anna but Anna sidesteps and twist Claras arm behind her then breaks her ring finger. Anna whispers in Claras ear You were easy to play with and Leon was to set on screwing over Alan. So getting Leon to fuck you after you saw me kiss Alan was too easy. You will sign the divorce papers without issue. Clara says I will tell Alan that it was you. Clara you lost if you don't do what I said just like in the beginning. Alan will get an anonymous email of you in the movie theater getting felt up and fingered, you deepthroating gunnar, you fucking Leon not once but twice and you fucking Mr.Brown and son. Mattering on if you keep pissing me off maybe I will send the company a video of you killing Leon. Death by toothpaste Ingenius. So be a good cumdumpster and do as I said clear. Clara with tears going down her face said clear. Anna let her go and told her you sign those papers ask for a transfer and never show your face again. Next day Leon was found dead in his car. Autopsy couldn't find cause looked like a heart attack. Clara got a transfer overseas her handler who was known for incompetence led her directly into a trap where she was killed. 1 month later Anna was on a flight when the onboard computer malfunctioned and crashed in the water. As this news was happening Alan was just closing his laptop. Night Clara came to his house he heard everything Anna said and when Clara died on the mission. His heart broke again but this time he had a target for is rage.

Think it would have been a tad better if he was on the phone with Anna just before it happens to tell her he found out all about her treachery and says goodbye as the flight starts it's "descent".

 

[elbro]

There was a time when I thought Alan and Clara were too easy to manipulate for secret service agents but after Trump assassination attempt, I think Alan and Clara are very realistic characters.

 

[MoBy28]

There was a time when I thought Alan and Clara were too easy to manipulate for secret service agents but after Trump assassination attempt, I think Alan and Clara are very realistic characters.

Too bad it wasn't secret service agents, was mainly homeland security with minimal training assigned to his security detail. Very few actual secret service were assigned which is one of the reasons for the investigation. Homeland security isn't what I'd call a top trained agency, more like a national police force. While the secret service does do undercover field ops, most are for the dept of the treasury and deal with counterfeiting. National security matters are handled by other agencies depending on location and type of threat. Most are undercover FBI ops(large team)on US soil but the NSA also does its own "investigations"(small team/solo). Alan and Clara's team seem to have about the same skill/training as homeland security or possibly FBI. Just an FYI FBI requirements have dropped quite a bit in the past decade or so.

 

[UpravDom]

Sorry I offered the Dev help and hurt your feelings.

I do not have the skills to make a game, I am however an author and editor. I can offer those skills to the Dev on a game I'm interested in.

But, maybe you can do the rendering, I'll write the story and see what we get. You game for that? I mean since you offered and all, I figured you and I can build a team and get going on this project.
I mean why open your mouth like that unless you're willing to help make something great.

Oh, and perhaps you can be a bit less condescending in your post.

The thing is, I respect the Developer's right to create a game based on his own script. The developer probably put his personal experiences and real-life facts into the script! In the Developer's view, the heroes of the story should behave in this way. To be honest, I know examples of the behavior of sexual partners from real life that do not fit into any norms of morality or loyalty at all... Therefore, I normally perceive the relationship of the game's characters! Sorry, it's nothing personal! This is an unpleasant reality of life...transferred to the game

 

[namtab]

Keep on Truckin' dev

 

[kratosOne]

Does anyone know what daz model is used for Clara?

 

[truthpolice]

Ara ara, got back and wasn't surprised to see the usual circlejerking going on here whenever a new update releases.

Maybe you'd better develop your own game, which of course will be more interesting than the game "Corrupted Hearts" and post it here! It would be interesting to compare...

Nah they won't. I have seen the so-called experts come up with a story and boy it was cringe af. Its better they stick to giving armchair "advice". 99% of them got nothing better than 18 y.o virgin in a house of beauties with dad dead OR the usual boring trope of letting ntr start with forced sex which every ntr game already does. At the minimum this game took a different turn by making it emotional but nah these guys conveniently forgot everything that happened between Clara, Alan and Leon since the start of the game and think its all because of a kiss

They also can't remember Alan gave Leon a second chance and Leon "saved" his ass. It doesn't give any reason for Alan to hate him more but make him think Leon has changed for good. But to comprehend this, a bare minimum attention span is necessary. No offense.

The other category are the ones skipping past everything related to plot, only interested in "penetration" scenes, call it "5 minutes content" and whine why the update doesn't have 100 minutes of "penetration" lol. I suppose they forgot pornhub exists or that they are playing a VN. These same guys then play blueball simulators and call it a day.

I pray the dev ignores these guys because whenever a dev tried to please all the guys like these, the game goes down the drain and they all still whine about it.

So if dev or any other devs are reading this, please stick to what story you want to tell and ignore all of us. The last thing anyone can find in ntr threads are constructive criticism.

 

[siath70]

Ara ara, got back and wasn't surprised to see the usual circlejerking going on here whenever a new update releases.



Nah they won't. I have seen the so-called experts come up with a story and boy it was cringe af. Its better they stick to giving armchair "advice". 99% of them got nothing better than 18 y.o virgin in a house of beauties with dad dead OR the usual boring trope of letting ntr start with forced sex which every ntr game already does. At the minimum this game took a different turn by making it emotional but nah these guys conveniently forgot everything that happened between Clara, Alan and Leon since the start of the game and think its all because of a kiss

They also can't remember Alan gave Leon a second chance and Leon "saved" his ass. It doesn't give any reason for Alan to hate him more but make him think Leon has changed for good. But to comprehend this, a bare minimum attention span is necessary. No offense.

The other category are the ones skipping past everything related to plot, only interested in "penetration" scenes, call it "5 minutes content" and whine why the update doesn't have 100 minutes of "penetration" lol. I suppose they forgot pornhub exists or that they are playing a VN. These same guys then play blueball simulators and call it a day.

I pray the dev ignores these guys because whenever a dev tried to please all the guys like these, the game goes down the drain and they all still whine about it.

So if dev or any other devs are reading this, please stick to what story you want to tell and ignore all of us. The last thing anyone can find in ntr threads are constructive criticism.

I see so insults are the way to go for you, a bit childish...

Except, I've have over 20 years as an author and editor, say what you want about someone you don't know.

If anything, everything I have put out is constructive. To say this is based on real life experiences is a bit of a stretch, I some how doubt this Dev is some super hacker or super assassin.

Yet you fall back to the whole, 'It's a VN, it's ok for the story to be shit as long as the pictures are nice.' argument. What's wrong with the story actually working too?

Really about the, he forgave him? I think you should apply what you're saying here to yourself. As you said, to comprehend this, a bare minimum attention span is necessary. So, take your own advice. Everything that is said by Clara to Alan after he sees Leon. About setting boundaries and how she's dealt with smooth talkers and people like him before. Not to worry she told him, I'm on your side.

The Leon's apology, Alan rejects it, maybe not 100%, but says that it just doesn't wipe away everything that has happened.
Tells Leon, I can't offer forgiveness yet, but he's willing to see how things go. Which means he'll work with him but doesn't forgive him, and if things go good, maybe he can forgive him. Never once did Alan forgive or get on good terms with Leon.

Then after Clara fucks Leon. The one person she's supposed to set boundaries with, and know how to deal with people like him. On her husband she dearly loves, over a kiss, after she cheated on him first and didn't give him a chance to respond too why he was kiss Anna.
Then she's upset for sleeping with Leon because of the complicated past her husband has with him. So much for those boundaries and knowing how to deal with people like him.

It is all about a kiss, she's half drunk because of a kiss, she even let's her self go because she feels bad about the kiss and suddenly Leon kissing her makes her all healed up and feeling better. It's said in the text right there for you to read. Nothing else happened between Alan and Clara, just shit with Clara she was hiding from Alan.
She felt guilt about the theater and how she betrayed him, she sees him 'kissing' Anna. Then instead of busting in the room, which the door was left open for some reason (no red flag there), like any other strong woman would, she just slinks away all pouty. Clara the strong willed assassin, deeply in love with Alan, fucks the guy her husband dislikes/hates instead of calling said husband and talking to him. Yeah makes sense.
If you push Anna away, she should have seen that, that 5 seconds she watch the kiss happen would have been enough to see you push her away. You gain Clara trust if you do, don't see how you should gain trust if she thinks you did it.

All of this after promising Alan all the things she did in regards to Leon, about setting hard boundaries and promising Alan to help him get back at Leon in some way. So, much for hard boundaries, oh Leon you're here in the middle of the night come on in and give me that dick I need. I know my husband is a phone call and short walk away and we could spend some time together, but hey you're here now... Oh I know we can't let everyone know Alan and I are married, but I'm going to go to the park with him, then the movies and out to eat several times. Then on the secret app I'm going to tell the people I'm working against and keeping it a secret I have a husband, I do have one, I'm even going to post a picture of it so everyone can see it.
I mean why keep those secrets, I just want to keep the secrets from Alan about all the fucking and sucking I do because I don't want to hurt him. I love him soooooooooooooooo much!

It makes no sense.

But hey, for her, Kiss = Fuck the dude your husband dislikes. So, if she'd have caught Alan fucking Anna, it would have been her fucking every guy in town. Oh then you have later, Alan grabbing Anna boob = no sex for Leon as long as you don't try to spy on her through Alexa. So in her book, grabbing boob is less than kissing. So maybe I'm wrong, if she caught Alan banging Anna, she'd throw him a party and fuck him for days. Because it all makes sense...

Maybe, you should go back and read the story instead of looking at the pictures only.

The story is all over the place, the characters say one thing and forget it the next scene. I liked the story up to the point she fucks Leon over a kiss, because it made zero sense for her to do so. If Clara loved Alan as much as it was said, and they had a strong relationship as it was shown. She would have opened the door and asked him what was going on, then based on your choice she would have seen you kissing or pushing Anna away.
Even if she didn't and walked off, she would have still talked to you at some point. She sure as shit wouldn't have let Leon fuck her over a kiss, not with all the back story between Alan and Leon and her promises to Alan. Stack their love on top of that and her being an assassin who would know what subduction was. Yep Leon would have been out on his ass. Would she have even let him in her apartment...

So, yeah you're right, Devs listen to this person, don't try to improve your writing. After all it's just a VN what do you need writing for when there's pictures.

You are right though, it is the Dev's story and they can write it however they want.

 

[Butfate]

What's new in this update? Is it worth the download?.

 

[Filipis]

I see so insults are the way to go for you, a bit childish...

Except, I've have over 20 years as an author and editor, say what you want about someone you don't know.

If anything, everything I have put out is constructive. To say this is based on real life experiences is a bit of a stretch, I some how doubt this Dev is some super hacker or super assassin.

Yet you fall back to the whole, 'It's a VN, it's ok for the story to be shit as long as the pictures are nice.' argument. What's wrong with the story actually working too?

Really about the, he forgave him? I think you should apply what you're saying here to yourself. As you said, to comprehend this, a bare minimum attention span is necessary. So, take your own advice. Everything that is said by Clara to Alan after he sees Leon. About setting boundaries and how she's dealt with smooth talkers and people like him before. Not to worry she told him, I'm on your side.

The Leon's apology, Alan rejects it, maybe not 100%, but says that it just doesn't wipe away everything that has happened.
Tells Leon, I can't offer forgiveness yet, but he's willing to see how things go. Which means he'll work with him but doesn't forgive him, and if things go good, maybe he can forgive him. Never once did Alan forgive or get on good terms with Leon.

Then after Clara fucks Leon, the person she's supposed to set boundaries with, and knows how to deal with people like him, on her husband she dearly loves, over a kiss after she cheated on him first and didn't give him a chance to respond too.
She's upset for sleeping with Leon because of the complicated past her husband has with him. So much for those boundaries and knowing how to deal with people like him.

It is all about a kiss, she's half drunk because of a kiss, she even let's her self go because she feels bad about the kiss and suddenly Leon kissing her makes her all healed up and feeling better. It's said in the text right there for you to read. Nothing else happened between Alan and Clara, just shit with Clara she was hiding from Alan.
She felt guilt about the theater and how she betrayed him, she sees him 'kissing' Anna. Then instead of busting in the room, which the door was left open for some reason (no red flag there), like any other strong woman would, she just slinks away all pouty. Clara the strong willed assassin, deeply in love with Alan, fucks the guy her husband dislikes/hates instead of calling said husband and talking to him. Yeah makes sense.
If you push Anna away, she should have seen that, that 5 seconds she watch the kiss happen would have been enough to see you push her away. You gain Clara trust if you do, don't see how you should gain trust if she thinks you did it.

All of this after promising Alan all the things she did in regards to Leon, about setting hard boundaries and promising Alan to help him get back at Leon in some way. So, much for hard boundaries, oh Leon you're here in the middle of the night come on in and give me that dick I need. I know my husband is a phone call and short walk away and we could spend some time together, but hey you're here now... Oh I know we can't let everyone know Alan and I are married, but I'm going to go to the park with him, then the movies and out to eat several times. Then on the secret app I'm going to tell the people I'm working against and keeping it a secret I have a husband, I do have one, I'm even going to post a picture of it so everyone can see it.
I mean why keep those secrets, I just want to keep the secrets from Alan about all the fucking and sucking I do because I don't want to hurt him. I love him soooooooooooooooo much!

It makes no sense.

But hey, for her, Kiss = Fuck the dude your husband dislikes. So, if she'd have caught Alan fucking Anna, it would have been her fucking every guy in town. Oh then you have later, Alan grabbing Anna boob = no sex for Leon as long as you don't try to spy on her through Alexa. So in her book, grabbing boob is less than kissing. So maybe I'm wrong, if she caught Alan banging Anna, she'd throw him a party and fuck him for days. Because it all makes sense...

Maybe, you should go back and read the story instead of looking at the pictures only.

The story is all over the place, the characters say one thing and forget it the next scene. I liked the story up to the point she sleeps with Leon, because it made zero sense for her to do so. If Clara loved Alan as much as it was said, and they had a strong relationship as it was shown. She would have opened the door and asked him what was going on, then based on your choice she would have seen you kissing or pushing Anna away.
Even if she didn't and walked off, she would have still talked to you at some point. She sure as shit wouldn't have let Leon fuck her over a kiss, not with all the back story between Alan and Leon and her promises to Alan. Stack their love on top of that and her being an assassin who would know what subduction was. Yep Leon would have been out on his ass. Would she have even let him in her apartment...

So yeah you're right, Devs listen to this person, don't try to improve your writing. After all it's just a VN what do you need writing for when there's pictures.

Corrupted Hearts is probably the first AVN that had the wife cheat because of emotions, not because of blackmail or biggus dickus syndrome. However, I also agree that the scenario that sent her straight into Leon's arms was ridiculous; a simple kiss is all it takes for the woman to decide she needs stranger dick? You could justify it by saying she was drunk or buzzed, but still... that is by far the weakest part of the story so far. And not to mention, armpit rubbing? I'd just like to know why? After Leon creampies Clara the next logical step is for her to let him... rub her armpits... with his dick?

 

[Fascorslolen]

She cheated because of a kiss that was too exaggerated for me, in my opinion the dev is not mature...

 

[siath70]

Corrupted Hearts is probably the first AVN that had the wife cheat because of emotions, not because of blackmail or biggus dickus syndrome. However, I also agree that the scenario that sent her straight into Leon's arms was ridiculous; a simple kiss is all it takes for the woman to decide she needs stranger dick? You could justify it by saying she was drunk or buzzed, but still... that is by far the weakest part of the story so far. And not to mention, armpit rubbing? I'd just like to know why? After Leon creampies Clara the next logical step is for her to let him... rub her armpits... with his dick?

I like the story all up to that point. It just makes no sense... Even the fact she let's Leon creampie her, no sense, that act alone makes it more than a simple fuck.

She cheated because of a kiss that was too exaggerated for me, in my opinion the dev is not mature...

As I have said, she's an assassin, strong will and all that shit goes with that. She would have confronted them when she saw it, she would have seen Alan push her away or keep kissing her based on your choice.
Even if you kept kissing her, I doubt she would have fucked Leon over a kiss.
She would have sure as shit told Leon, 'No, shit he's not here, why are you pointing out the obvious? You trying to get in my panties?'
The story up to that point talks about how strong their love is, how Leon is not his friend and more like an enemy. About how she will help her husband with Leon and how she knows how to handle smooth talkers like him.
How Alan never forgives him, but tries to set aside their differences for the mission.
Yeah all that gets tossed out the window over a kiss after she honeypots a dude who kisses her and sucks her tit. During which she can't figure out why the drug she gave him isn't working. I mean she got it back from Leon, certainly nothing strange about that.
Then you have Leon always showing up in the nick of time to 'save' her, or something happening when he's there, like the Alarm being tripped. The alarm that was tripped by a super hacker who didn't know to hide himself. The alarm that alerted the enemies there was an intrusion into their systems. Hey, don't worry about that it will take them a day or two to respond to the 'alarm' and hacking attempt. I mean it's not important right, why would they respond right away?

It all boils down to a kiss causing her to cheat on Alan after everything else that happened before it.
Really, the forced sex should be removed and make it optional, let readers choose. It's not really a bad thing, she can be forced to have sex through the APP with Leon. Me personally, I would be more accepting of that, than the fact she fucks Leon over a simple kiss that she walked away from with out questioning them.
Do you know how many people casually kiss like that? I don't think she would over react to it,.

 

[tharsheblows]

She cheated because of a kiss that was too exaggerated for me, in my opinion the dev is not mature...

You judged a man for a kinky plot twist in a purely fictional story that he wrote. In my opinion,you are not mature.
Keep the focus on the game, not the author.

 

[siath70]

You judged a man for a kinky plot twist in a purely fictional story that he wrote. In my opinion,you are not mature.
Keep the focus on the game, not the author.

What if the Dev isn't a man? Or is non-binary? So, you're judging the Dev based on what sex you think they might be? Wow, nice post judging someone after judging the Dev's sexual orientation...

 

[BadmanBaxter]

Is the android version gonna be updated soon

 

[pango173]

wife sharing or swinging elements ? threesome ? foursome?

 

[truthpolice]

I see so insults are the way to go for you, a bit childish...

Except, I've have over 20 years as an author and editor, say what you want about someone you don't know.

If anything, everything I have put out is constructive. To say this is based on real life experiences is a bit of a stretch, I some how doubt this Dev is some super hacker or super assassin.

Yet you fall back to the whole, 'It's a VN, it's ok for the story to be shit as long as the pictures are nice.' argument. What's wrong with the story actually working too?

Really about the, he forgave him? I think you should apply what you're saying here to yourself. As you said, to comprehend this, a bare minimum attention span is necessary. So, take your own advice. Everything that is said by Clara to Alan after he sees Leon. About setting boundaries and how she's dealt with smooth talkers and people like him before. Not to worry she told him, I'm on your side.

The Leon's apology, Alan rejects it, maybe not 100%, but says that it just doesn't wipe away everything that has happened.
Tells Leon, I can't offer forgiveness yet, but he's willing to see how things go. Which means he'll work with him but doesn't forgive him, and if things go good, maybe he can forgive him. Never once did Alan forgive or get on good terms with Leon.

Then after Clara fucks Leon. The one person she's supposed to set boundaries with, and know how to deal with people like him. On her husband she dearly loves, over a kiss, after she cheated on him first and didn't give him a chance to respond too why he was kiss Anna.
Then she's upset for sleeping with Leon because of the complicated past her husband has with him. So much for those boundaries and knowing how to deal with people like him.

It is all about a kiss, she's half drunk because of a kiss, she even let's her self go because she feels bad about the kiss and suddenly Leon kissing her makes her all healed up and feeling better. It's said in the text right there for you to read. Nothing else happened between Alan and Clara, just shit with Clara she was hiding from Alan.
She felt guilt about the theater and how she betrayed him, she sees him 'kissing' Anna. Then instead of busting in the room, which the door was left open for some reason (no red flag there), like any other strong woman would, she just slinks away all pouty. Clara the strong willed assassin, deeply in love with Alan, fucks the guy her husband dislikes/hates instead of calling said husband and talking to him. Yeah makes sense.
If you push Anna away, she should have seen that, that 5 seconds she watch the kiss happen would have been enough to see you push her away. You gain Clara trust if you do, don't see how you should gain trust if she thinks you did it.

All of this after promising Alan all the things she did in regards to Leon, about setting hard boundaries and promising Alan to help him get back at Leon in some way. So, much for hard boundaries, oh Leon you're here in the middle of the night come on in and give me that dick I need. I know my husband is a phone call and short walk away and we could spend some time together, but hey you're here now... Oh I know we can't let everyone know Alan and I are married, but I'm going to go to the park with him, then the movies and out to eat several times. Then on the secret app I'm going to tell the people I'm working against and keeping it a secret I have a husband, I do have one, I'm even going to post a picture of it so everyone can see it.
I mean why keep those secrets, I just want to keep the secrets from Alan about all the fucking and sucking I do because I don't want to hurt him. I love him soooooooooooooooo much!

It makes no sense.

But hey, for her, Kiss = Fuck the dude your husband dislikes. So, if she'd have caught Alan fucking Anna, it would have been her fucking every guy in town. Oh then you have later, Alan grabbing Anna boob = no sex for Leon as long as you don't try to spy on her through Alexa. So in her book, grabbing boob is less than kissing. So maybe I'm wrong, if she caught Alan banging Anna, she'd throw him a party and fuck him for days. Because it all makes sense...

Maybe, you should go back and read the story instead of looking at the pictures only.

The story is all over the place, the characters say one thing and forget it the next scene. I liked the story up to the point she fucks Leon over a kiss, because it made zero sense for her to do so. If Clara loved Alan as much as it was said, and they had a strong relationship as it was shown. She would have opened the door and asked him what was going on, then based on your choice she would have seen you kissing or pushing Anna away.
Even if she didn't and walked off, she would have still talked to you at some point. She sure as shit wouldn't have let Leon fuck her over a kiss, not with all the back story between Alan and Leon and her promises to Alan. Stack their love on top of that and her being an assassin who would know what subduction was. Yep Leon would have been out on his ass. Would she have even let him in her apartment...

So, yeah you're right, Devs listen to this person, don't try to improve your writing. After all it's just a VN what do you need writing for when there's pictures.

You are right though, it is the Dev's story and they can write it however they want.

Looks like I hit a sore spot for a expert author like you to write a story here when I didn't even address you. Let me write a short story to highlight few things,

20 years of experience and yet you couldn't comprehend that I never mentioned Alan forgiving Leon nor dd I use the word "forgive" lol. I suppose anyone writing some fantasy from their bedroom can call themselves an author.

All I said was it would make him think "Leon might have changed for the better".

If you really paid a fraction of attention to the story then it's shown that Clara did set boundaries with Leon in the beginning. But when X came into the picture, Leon popped up as a savior. Even the first time after he helped her out after the Ben thing, she still doubted him. But Leon convinced her he was the good guy and continued to help her out and gave her a shoulder to cry on. From her perspective, if Leon was an enemy, he already had enough to bring them all down but he didn't.

After that its obvious she has already stopped keeping any boundaries with him. Oh and this is all ignoring the mental distress she was going through all these events and her troubled childhood which was mentioned. Who knows what kind of past trauma she has that just caused a snowball effect. But hey, let's judge a fictional character whose past we don't know. Mentioning this because you seem to like to point out how you don't like to be judged.

Then there is the fact that Alan is the reason she even got into this mess. I don't understand how a expert like you glazed over such a important fact and another one being that their relationship wasn't really strong from the start. Clara was rebuking him in the first update for not trusting her to do things or having faith in her. Even their life goals doesn't match.

You ask why Clara didn't barge in when Anna kissed Alan? Would you feel like you have the moral ground to stop someone from kissing when you did worse? It's shown in your face that she didn't feel the right to barge in because of her guilt.

I am not countering your other garbled and groundless points coz its a waste of time and energy for me and serves no purpose for any of us unless I get paid for it kek.
I already addressed all those in the early days but found out its like talking to a wall like now. But I just had to call out on your 20 years of experience since you seem to be very proud of it but totally missed the point I emphasized.

It isn't constructive criticism when you don't even understand what you are criticizing about. So yes all the devs in this world would be better off without the criticism of such experts. I didn't even say dev should listen to me but the opposite and yet you wrote as if I said that. So if I were you, I would think twice before showing the 20 year badge. Just a friendly advice.

Oh yea, it was also funny to see some people here getting triggered because of some armpit rub. Nobody ever heard of the word "kink"? From an earlier update it was shown Leon had a thing for armpits and pleps sobbing when he asked for a armpit rub lol