Others Corruption of Champions II [v0.8.16] [Savin/Salamander Studios]

[M0nte]

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I do feel like you are jumping a gun just a tiny bit. From where I am standing, you just seem burnt out from trying to get this pregnancy expansion into the game. My advice is to take a break, remove yourself from that feeling of rejection, and then see if you want to continue to work on this project or not. Making such sudden decisions when you are heated never bodes well.

And, please, do not apologise. You are writing for free. Unlike Savin, Wsan and the rest, you are fan submitting your work. You owe us or anyone else absolutely nothing. You wrote this for yourself cause it brought you joy. If it doesn't anymore, then who are we to criticize you?

 

[Pizza Lord]

Honestly, fail to see why the artwork thing would be an important deal. No disrespect to the artists as they have the better track record of the whole lot but even those have duds. Was his friend's work too ass to matter?

I don't think the pictures had any bearing on the document submission itself, I think it was a separate mention that they didn't quite fit in which just kind of added onto the pile, so to speak.

I am definitely not an artist, so I am not going to say good or bad, and definitely not gonna call anyone's work 'ass', because I can see that someone put time and work into it, but you can form your own opinions. Good or bad, there's definitely a preferred style (granted, that's because they have an established artist in Moira), so...

There's like 9 or 12 pictures I see, so I will post the link to the forum he posted them on:

You must be registered to see the links

 

[Pizza Lord]

...
And then you read shit that Tob's or what SKoW writes, and your outrage just burns even more.

Now that, I can agree to seeing (The Observer part, haven't read a doc SKoW reviewed). He definitely has a certain 'manner' to his reviewing. Which is probably why I was quick to mention that Gardeforde's comments and such were not in those veins, and actually he's seemed very encouraging in other stuff on the channel when asked. But yeah, The Observer can be ... strict and brusque.

BTW, what was the scene or character you did?

 

[PixelLewd]

I don't think the pictures had any bearing on the document submission itself, I think it was a separate mention that they didn't quite fit in which just kind of added onto the pile, so to speak.

I am definitely not an artist, so I am not going to say good or bad, and definitely not gonna call anyone's work 'ass', because I can see that someone put time and work into it, but you can form your own opinions. Good or bad, there's definitely a preferred style (granted, that's because they have an established artist in Moira), so...

There's like 9 or 12 pictures I see, so I will post the link to the forum he posted them on:

You must be registered to see the links

No bruh no way, you're telling me they had a problem with that art?!?!? Holy fuck how brainrotted are they?!?! That art is more than fucking fine! Sure at most it could use some more shading or something like that but its fine, good or great even!

What does all art need to be Adjatha's ballon demons now or someshit?!? Holy fuck how do they find new ways to disappoint us?!

Spoiler: Art for Reference, so you don't have to visit their hellsite

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Fuckers are going to make me hate harder than AM and his 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that can't contain one billionth of his hate.

 

[OreoLuma]

I do feel like you are jumping a gun just a tiny bit. From where I am standing, you just seem burnt out from trying to get this pregnancy expansion into the game. My advice is to take a break, remove yourself from that feeling of rejection, and then see if you want to continue to work on this project or not. Making such sudden decisions when you are heated never bodes well.

And, please, do not apologise. You are writing for free. Unlike Savin, Wsan and the rest, you are fan submitting your work. You owe us or anyone else absolutely nothing. You wrote this for yourself cause it brought you joy. If it doesn't anymore, then who are we to criticize you?

Someone on the fen forums said something similar to this.

I understand where your coming from but I feel like you are misunderstanding me. I've thought about this for a while now, this isn't some random decision out of anger. I'm not heated or anything like that. I'm simply moving on.

I've tried taking a break long before the clem doc was rejected. My passion for the game is simply no longer there. Though I really appreciate your words and encouragement!

 

[PixelLewd]

Someone on the fen forums said something similar to this.

I understand where your coming from but I feel like you are misunderstanding me. I've thought about this for a while now, this isn't some random decision out of anger. I'm not heated or anything like that. I'm simply moving on.

I've tried taking a break long before the clem doc was rejected. My passion for the game is simply no longer there. Though I really appreciate your words and encouragement!

Well, whatever you go on to do next, I wish you luck man. I hope this doesn't put you down and out of creating things

 

[Sacred_Lamb]

Now that, I can agree to seeing (The Observer part, haven't read a doc SKoW reviewed). He definitely has a certain 'manner' to his reviewing. Which is probably why I was quick to mention that Gardeforde's comments and such were not in those veins, and actually he's seemed very encouraging in other stuff on the channel when asked. But yeah, The Observer can be ... strict and brusque.

BTW, what was the scene or character you did?

It was a while ago. It was a scene that I was started out with for the drider queen before anything else had actually happened for her.
I was also gonna write something for the bunny girl butt stopped after that shit, really fucked my groove up.
But it did motivate me to start world building. Shit, I got three world projects going. I just need to figure out how to programme using twine.

 

[Sacred_Lamb]

No bruh no way, you're telling me they had a problem with that art?!?!? Holy fuck how brainrotted are they?!?! That art is more than fucking fine! Sure at most it could use some more shading or something like that but its fine, good or great even!

What does all art need to be Adjatha's ballon demons now or someshit?!? Holy fuck how do they find new ways to disappoint us?!

Spoiler: Art for Reference, so you don't have to visit their hellsite

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Fuckers are going to make me hate harder than AM and his 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that can't contain one billionth of his hate.

Which is why I say I don't follow apologists, I just look at facts. These are decent asf, nah fucking great. Its ain't god tier but neither is Morie.

 

[Sacred_Lamb]

Someone on the fen forums said something similar to this.

I understand where your coming from but I feel like you are misunderstanding me. I've thought about this for a while now, this isn't some random decision out of anger. I'm not heated or anything like that. I'm simply moving on.

I've tried taking a break long before the clem doc was rejected. My passion for the game is simply no longer there. Though I really appreciate your words and encouragement!

My guy, i've read your stuff like I said, and I really wanted you to send the doc to this site so we can read, cause I ain't look on their site, but I hope this doesn't dissuade you from writing. If anything continue to write stuff for yourself s***, I'd be done to read what you write, because it's not bad, and I think this experience that you've learned
In writing can translate to better stuff so don't let this get you down.

 

[M0nte]

Someone on the fen forums said something similar to this.

I understand where your coming from but I feel like you are misunderstanding me. I've thought about this for a while now, this isn't some random decision out of anger. I'm not heated or anything like that. I'm simply moving on.

I've tried taking a break long before the clem doc was rejected. My passion for the game is simply no longer there. Though I really appreciate your words and encouragement!

Then my apologies for assuming that what you wrote was in the heat of the moment.
I can see you have pation for writing, so regardless, I do hope you find something artistically fulfilling to sink your teeth into.

 

[Jbuster]

No bruh no way, you're telling me they had a problem with that art?!?!? Holy fuck how brainrotted are they?!?! That art is more than fucking fine! Sure at most it could use some more shading or something like that but its fine, good or great even!

What does all art need to be Adjatha's ballon demons now or someshit?!? Holy fuck how do they find new ways to disappoint us?!

Spoiler: Art for Reference, so you don't have to visit their hellsite

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Fuckers are going to make me hate harder than AM and his 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that can't contain one billionth of his hate.

Bogged Brienne was allowed to stay but this doesn't fit

Eh whatever, bro was brave and did his best. He'll find something better

 

[DuckTheMuck]

Someone on the fen forums said something similar to this.

I understand where your coming from but I feel like you are misunderstanding me. I've thought about this for a while now, this isn't some random decision out of anger. I'm not heated or anything like that. I'm simply moving on.

I've tried taking a break long before the clem doc was rejected. My passion for the game is simply no longer there. Though I really appreciate your words and encouragement!

Can you share what was written for the Clementine marriage expansion. I know it wasn't finished I just want to see what was written.

At least you got a rejection response. Most submissions are just ignored. Which staff member is in charge of accepting or rejecting Clementine submissions?

 

[OreoLuma]

Can you share what was written for the Clementine marriage expansion. I know it wasn't finished I just want to see what was written.

At least you got a rejection response. Most submissions are just ignored. Which staff member is in charge of accepting or rejecting Clementine submissions?

My guy, i've read your stuff like I said, and I really wanted you to send the doc to this site so we can read, cause I ain't look on their site, but I hope this doesn't dissuade you from writing. If anything continue to write stuff for yourself s***, I'd be done to read what you write, because it's not bad, and I think this experience that you've learned
In writing can translate to better stuff so don't let this get you down.

Alright I've seen multiple people asking for my stuff to be made public. Most of my stuff is public but the links are a little hard to find.

Let me just post all my links in a single post. Please keep in mind they are all very lengthy (60+ pages) and please don't expect anything from them or I.

You must be registered to see the links

You must be registered to see the links

You must be registered to see the links

You must be registered to see the links

You must be registered to see the links

just a warning about this doc: It's mostly WIP and full of issues and grammar problems along with incomplete scenes and ideas.

 

[CrimsonSongbird1982]

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Damn RIP to fluffy sheep lady content. Even if you give up on this game I hope it doesn't discourage you from writing or artistic expression in general.

This is why the whole "IF yOu wANt SoMEthINg iN thE gAMe, WrIte iT1!!11!!!" argument that Savin and his glazers make falls flat. Motherfucker is notorious for acting like a stingy shithead over the pettiest of reasons when it comes to submitting content to his game. Not only that, but signing away your rights to your character to that ungrateful prick? Fuck that.

I got so sick of hearing that from them and savin. Either they do this shit or they want people to do it so they can benefit from other people's work and use it for their own benefit like a damn persona villain. It's not some community like they tried to advertise it's exploitation at worst and entitlement at best and if their fanbase can't give money then they want their ideas or effort to profit off of. Unless it's a horsecock or ntr then they love it. Hopefully they at least stopped letting tobs review submissions. I don't know why they treat him like a writing authority when all he does is deepthroat a thesaurus and puke up the word splooge and call it a day. He writes like a college student meeting a word count.

What does all art need to be Adjatha's ballon demons now or someshit?!?

I don't know, bimbo sex doll aesthetic does it for me sometimes. But yeah the sheep art is good. Though I assume it was probably rejected as a result of them rejecting the Clementine expansion it was meant for since it'd be seen as redundant without it.

 

[Pizza Lord]

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just a warning about this doc: It's mostly WIP and full of issues and grammar problems along with incomplete scenes and ideas.

The Acacia doc is the submitted stuff, which leaves out some stuff for submission page count and length purposes (since her Talk options were pretty long-winded, which I think might have hindered her, since the exposition dump might have slowed interest for people that wanted to get to the sexy bits.).

The CK doc is the master/work doc, with the introductory tour/quest around the Old Forest where you get her basic story as you explore, and some sex scenes that didn't make the page count (like Wall Bang), but it also has thoughts and plot and ideas of corruption or pregnancies and spoilers to her projected story arc. That and probably some lingering, unresolved notations and comments that weren't cleared.

 

[Sacred_Lamb]

Alright I've seen multiple people asking for my stuff to be made public. Most of my stuff is public but the links are a little hard to find.

Let me just post all my links in a single post. Please keep in mind they are all very lengthy (60+ pages) and please don't expect anything from them or I.

You must be registered to see the links

You must be registered to see the links

You must be registered to see the links

You must be registered to see the links

You must be registered to see the links

just a warning about this doc: It's mostly WIP and full of issues and grammar problems along with incomplete scenes and ideas.

If I were to give you constructive criticism, I'd say, go read "On writing by stephen king," the one thing I think Wsan does good is by recommending that because adverbs are your enemy - they have their place but you do overuse them.
Most of them are also guilty of the same shit so don't take it too hard, its a case a perfect practice makes perfection.

 

[Sacred_Lamb]

Alright I've seen multiple people asking for my stuff to be made public. Most of my stuff is public but the links are a little hard to find.

Let me just post all my links in a single post. Please keep in mind they are all very lengthy (60+ pages) and please don't expect anything from them or I.

You must be registered to see the links

You must be registered to see the links

You must be registered to see the links

You must be registered to see the links

You must be registered to see the links

just a warning about this doc: It's mostly WIP and full of issues and grammar problems along with incomplete scenes and ideas.

In fact, I could take it a step further and say, use a I to help you learn. Don't get grossed out and be anti tech and say AI is bad, it's good for teaching you. I even show you an excerpt that I use and I've printed it for myself as a guideline.

Spoiler: Summary and breakdown of "On Writing by Stephen King" and "Self editing for fiction writers " by ChatGPT

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You don't need to read everything just have it summarized (I use this on a regular for college too, I do analyticalchemistry so I have to know the fundamentals but using it to grammar check my thesis is a must.)

Spoiler: A casual fix of an excerpt from Acacia doc

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And if you don't like Ai (for some reason) this dude on YouTube called Hello Future Me is a great resource for writing lessons and he's actually entertaining so it doesn't feel like you're being taught.

 

[M0nte]

In fact, I could take it a step further and say, use a I to help you learn. Don't get grossed out and be anti tech and say AI is bad, it's good for teaching you. I even show you an excerpt that I use and I've printed it for myself as a guideline.

Spoiler: Summary and breakdown of "On Writing by Stephen King" and "Self editing for fiction writers " by ChatGPT

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

You don't need to read everything just have it summarized (I use this on a regular for college too, I do analyticalchemistry so I have to know the fundamentals but using it to grammar check my thesis is a must.)

Spoiler: A casual fix of an excerpt from Acacia doc

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

And if you don't like Ai (for some reason) this dude on YouTube called Hello Future Me is a great resource for writing lessons and he's actually entertaining so it doesn't feel like you're being taught.

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It is not cool to ingest someone else's writing into Ai/machine learning. Oreolume was kind enough to post docs for us to see, so you could at least not do that much.

 

[DesSaasu]

Do you ever wonder if the professor use his mental powers to fuck?, like, using mental waves like strings on his lower half as some kind of weird meat sex puppet?

I think he does


A.I.D.A might be your thing


They kicked out the one who could've turn Tobs to the ntrside of the force, but let's pretend he went there, for a while

Spoiler: Everyone must suffer

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Spoiler: Everyone must suffer

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God, I miss Tsumetoro.

 

[Digitaler]

After reading first of Klem's doc I'm genuinely fuming. As a pregnancy-lover her expansion was top notch and nailed everything I loved about this kink. Seeing it declined, while shit like Agnimitra or other one time characters/events gets pass only futher cements my opinion, that this game is a garbage-dump of wasted potential and half-assed work without any possibility to be good with this writers and team-lead. We can't have anything nice, even once in a blue moon, FUCK