I know we all view sex differently but it is genuinely surprisingly just how differently we see it.
Not a dig at all, just an observation but I notice someone say they were out if BDSM came around and then I see "fuck me, dad" classed as dirty talk.
As someone who has dabbled in BDSM of varying degrees I can tell you it's not all whips, chains and torture. Very little of it is to do with pain at all, that's the other end of the scale. Bondage is giving up control or taking it, not punishing someone. You can go further but most people into BDSM don't go that far unless they are into the whole pain thing.
My wife likes a bit of light play, being tied up and blindfolded etc but isn't into pain. I do like pain but not torture. She has long nails and it feels fantastic when she shreds my back, looks a mess of scars but at the time...
Not saying give it a go or trying to justify it, just saying it's not as heavy as some people make it out and even in that fetish it has different degrees. It's not someone likes BDSM therefore they like it all.
As far as dirty talk goes, i've never classed someone saying "fuck me" as dirty, that's just a request.
Again, not a dig, I just noticed how differently we see things.