Uh, no? I have a creative background, one that I pursued to a college level. But it wasn't literature, it was
Game Design & Animation. I didn't spell it out specifically,
because the point wasn't to lean on my degree for authority. That was just a preamble to explain why I value honest critique, and that even if it sounds harsh, it wasn't done to be mean our out of spite. None of my latter opinions or reasoning are built upon the basis that 'I have a degree so listen to me', it's meant to illustrate my experience with critique at the academic level.
Not sure why you brought this up. I never questioned the inherent premise of the incest-fest game. They all require a bit of suspension of disbelief, but there are better and worse ways to go about it. This game isn't the worst, but it's hardly the best; again it is a solid example of mediocrity. C+ work, enough to pass, but you're not even in the running for class valedictorian.
Wut?
I'm not even sure if I can parse that.
Those games are examples of titles with exceptional visual direction accompanied by solid writing. Within the context of the worlds they build, their characters act and react in ways that makes sense and are believable. The creators don't shatter my suspension of disbelief, they put in the work (again, with solid writing and visuals) to sell me on their dystopian cyberpunk futurism or their collegiate debauchery.
I never claimed that simple adherence to reality was the pinnacle of creative writing. So no, you didn't catch me being hypocritical or something cause I cited
City of Broken Dreamers as an example of a stellar game that rises above its peers.
I don't know, why are you so butthurt about my critique that you spent your time to write up your meandering screed?
The dev replied to me saying that they hoped I enjoyed the game. In the spirit of open and honest dialogue, I gave my sincere impressions of what I had experienced thus far. I cited examples of things I see that could be improved upon, then made suggestions on how to make those improvements. I didn't just say it was 'bad' and moved on. I said it was largely mediocre, cited specific examples, and offered concrete suggestions for improvement.
What have you done? Got angry at someone who put honest effort into trying to make the game you like be a little better.
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Maybe try reading the whole critique? I explained it pretty thoroughly.
It was an example of 'tell, don't show'. We didn't see the teacher during these earlier moments that she grew feelings for the MC. How long has she had these feelings? What did the MC do, that other students did not, that made those feelings grow? We don't see any of that, we are just told she has these (new to the player) feelings for the MC, and we are told she has had them for a long time. We never really saw anything to support this, and I broke down how abrupt and unearned this was narratively.
You can tell the audience that two characters are in love, but if you don't show it, it will fall flat. That is one of the large problems with George Lucas' writing in the prequel Star Wars trilogy. He is really bad at showing Anakin being in love with Padme or being friends with Obi-Wan. We need to be told repeated that these things are true, because the rest of the movie frequently fails to backup these assertions, and it's why Anakin's relationships with these characters feel so empty and hollow. We are told Anakin and Obi-Wan a great friends, they talk about their past adventures (that we don't get to see), and then spend the rest of the movie (the part we do see) watching them argue and fight with each other.
The audience being told they are friends contradicts what the movies is showing us; we don't see two friends having a falling out, we just see two people who don't really like each other constantly bickering with each other. George Lucas failed to sell the audience on Anakin and Obi-Wan being friends, much in the same way Seacth failed to sell Mrs. Bell being deeply in love with the MC. Just telling us she is madly in love is lazy. The foundational work needed to show us Mrs. Bell is madly in love with the MC simply isn't there. It is a case of bad writing, and indicative of a bad narrative structure, in this instance.
Except it really doesn't. It 'works' insofar as it is does the bare minimum to cover the bases, but it is lazy writing that cuts corners in the name of expediency. Again, it is passable. But there is so much room for improvement here. It could be so much better. I took that as a one-off example of that I could use to illustrate the point, that 'show don't tell' makes for better and more believable characters. As it is currently written, I don't believe Mrs. Bell when she confesses her feelings to the MC. The story hasn't earned that level of credulity. The relationship is too fast, and springs practically out of nowhere, and thus it feels hollow and unearned. I want to know what did the MC do to stoke this fire, the fan the flames of her desire? I want to know WHY she loves the MC like she does.
The game doesn't show us. Thus, it is something that can be improved upon.
If this were true, then paramedics, police, and firemen would be neck deep in pussy all the time. They are not...
But they aren't. Also, you again entirely missed the point of my critique. I explicitly said that Mrs. Bell
could use the daughter rescue as an excuse to fuck the MC, but that it
required different circumstances. Circumstances that don't currently exist in the game. You could write a believable scenario where Mrs. Bell fucks the MC after rescuing her daughter, but to make it at all believable, would require a rewrite and entirely new context. One example which I happily provided as an alternative to what was written, as just one possible way to square that particular circle.
I don't need absolute physical accuracy, nor did I ever claim as such, so you can take your Pickard facepalm and
stow it.
The point was that the fight, as presented, shattered by suspension of disbelief, because the staging was so poor. That doesn't mean that I need perfect one-to-one Hollywood level fight choreography. What it does mean is that the poses of the characters need to at least be good enough that they can sell the audience on the fight. That they're not so bad, they take people out of the experience. They just need to be 'good enough' that people aren't stopping to wonder 'WTF is going on here?' when looking at the characters.
There are a dozen different way to make that fight better. But the fastest, simplest fix, was to implement what I suggested.
If you keep Jimmy's actions as they are,
if he rushes with a punch with this right first, and
if the MC sidesteps to the left to avoid it,
then the simplest and most effective action (one that maintains the MC's momentum and the flow of the action) would be to continue his rotation from the sidestep and bring his left arm to bear for the attack. It would look far less awkward, make way more sense, and thus take less people out of the experience in that moment.
Do I care if the MC would have the actual strength in the real world to be capable of knock Jimmy out with a single left hook?
Nope. All that is required is that things look 'good enough' to sell the narrative. The dodge to the left followed by a righthanded uppercut that needs to go around Jimmy's arm looks awkward and bad. The mechanics of it are
laughable if you
stop and think about it for just a second. It currently isn't 'good enough' to sell the fight.
Two characters throw punches, one falls down and the other claims victory. It currently is C+ work. It does the minimum to cover the bases, but doesn't rise above that. It isn't a good fight, let alone a great one.
But what a lot of this boils down to is, you just have a far less discerning and uncritical pallet than I do. That's fine. You're not wrong for enjoying a mediocre game. But your personal enjoyment doesn't make the game less mediocre, nor is my critique of it a personal attack on you or the developer. Indeed Seacth handled the critique far better than all of the white-knights that have popped out of the woodwork to seemingly defend the game's honor. I would suggest taking notes from Seacth on how to handle honest critique, because they are nailing it.
