After doing a search, looking through the data in the OP, the game defs and even in the "library", but to no avail, I'm still unsure about the impact of "help" and "self" choices for Shani. Can someone help me understand how these play into things?
It appears that "help" may mean she is more prone to being a helpful person and looking to the "greater good" rather than thinking first of herself - an "interdependent" person, capable of being what she needs to be for herself and others, but not afraid to help, or be helped, as circumstances require.
"Self' suggests to me that she would be more focused on fierce independence, seeking to avoid needing aid from others, and easily walking away when helping someone not herself or her father could put her at risk.
As I write this, "help" seems to me to be the path of a more full, if not riskier, life, while "self" seems to be one of isolation and loneliness. But, I may be entirely wrong.
That's the best I got right now with my own self-help - if someone knows the real answer (if there is one) it would be nice to know.