VN Ren'Py Abandoned Dizzy City Life [v0.1.0] [keyclap]

3.70 star(s) 3 Votes
Discussion Reviews (3)
7767

7767

EAT
Trial Moderator
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Aug 5, 2016
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1588335050997.png

Overview:
My life has changed since my father started his business in the USA. Now my family and I are moving from Russia to our new house. What awaits us? I don't know. So let's find out!
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Thread Updated: 2020-04-23
Release Date: 2020-02-23
Developer: keyclap
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Censored: No
Version: 0.1.0
OS: Windows, Linux, Android
Language: English
Genre:
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Installation:
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Changelog:
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Old saves won't work
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main_menu.png sc-introairport05.jpg sc-introfamilyaparts03.jpg sc-introfamilyaparts15.jpg sc-introfamilyaparts44.jpg sc-introfamilyaparts48.jpg sc-introthomascar02.jpg ​
 
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Vrijgeest

Vrijgeest

Engaged Member
Jun 16, 2019
3,332
3,179
Nice start and nothing unusual as yet. Renders are good and models are fine but.... The language. Please get a grammar and spelling checker. Also read up on New York. A pretty old and small apartment for a rich guy. You will hardly find one where you can open a window. Noise and air pollution is pretty bad in the Big Apple. Look forward to where this is going and I hope not down the Russian macho/mafia path.
 
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giggitygigity

giggitygigity

Active Member
Aug 24, 2019
509
746
oh what tease. showed me all this incest boogaloo, but the next time I check the thread, bam... it's abandoned.:cry:
 
Look-see

Look-see

Engaged Member
Aug 19, 2018
2,995
5,503
mc seems like a downer. and his anitsocialness makes it seem when he starts interacting with girls he's gonna be led around. but the most irritating thing was "caffee" pretty sure he meant Cafe right? renders are nice more or less. to little to say much about anything except already hate sisters husband and looking forward to cucking him if the game gets that far lol
 
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johnson803

Member
Jan 5, 2019
131
114
look-see said:
mc seems like a downer. and his anitsocialness makes it seem when he starts interacting with girls he's gonna be led around. but the most irritating thing was "caffee" pretty sure he meant Cafe right? renders are nice more or less. to little to say much about anything except already hate sisters husband and looking forward to cucking him if the game gets that far lol
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maybe coffee
 
Why Am I Even Here?

Why Am I Even Here?

Newbie
Oct 4, 2019
77
248
My honest first impressions with slight spoilers and constructive criticism.


- Soundtrack that consists of covers of classics, interesting.

- Engrish that's going to need some proofreading and that got worse as the demo progressed. One of these things is the insistence to call the place where they were going to eat something a "caffee". I have the impression this comes from assuming Russian кафе can be transliterated into English like that. Dev could have simply used "café". From the language I could tell the dev is a native Russian who knows what he's doing most of the time and has learnt English really well, but he's going to need that proofreader.

- The ginger sister character is really hot and there's few things that can be remarked about her when it comes to picking models and accessories. She's the biggest and a sufficient motivation to try out this demo imo. However, I feel like the renders should be in a slightly higher resolution (something is causing blurriness) and perhaps the sister's skin looks too "clean" for her type of gingerness (could be my personal impression but really fiery-haired gingers always have at least slight freckles in my experience and I come from a family with gingers). That being said, the sister looks fabulous but the low resolution made a certain male character (Thomas) look like he has leprosy.

- The fact she's a sister probably means it's going to be revealed you're adopted or something, otherwise RIP progress in the VN or Patreon account.

- An oversight is that you can pick your own name, but later your sister calls you "Lawrence" out of nowhere like that was intended to be the canon name.

- The initial set-up of the story is pretty generic but with good renders, character interaction and perhaps more gameplay mechanics (the illusion of open world and a phone is typically good imho, but there's more innovative ways) this may be getting somewhere in future updates.


So good luck to the dev and I hope to see a proper first chapter sooner than later.

TL;DR: short but approved, ginger is hot.
 
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BarbarrossaNA

BarbarrossaNA

Active Member
Sep 10, 2019
946
1,611
Good renders.. bad english. Caffee - cafe, Cloth - clothes, Everyting - everything, cigarret - cigarette, Sinked - sank, Sure ur majesty - Sure your majesty. Now your are home. Now you're home or Now you are home. Perhaps Buried his head in the mud instead of smashed his head in the mud.. Yeah, lots of mispellings and such but with a proofreader helping it can be cleaned up. The skill is there... rendors and flow decent. Even though the wording is off a bit it is ok due to the fact the charactors are newly arrived from Russia and their english might sound like it is written. What there is here is short and sweet with potential. Good luck.
 
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niasolis

Newbie
Jul 27, 2018
25
73
Good start. As others have said, the Engrish is the weakest part at this time. Really need to work with someone to clarify the grammar and hopefully clear up the writing. Renders are nice. Careful with Patreon and the incest tag... they don't like that type of stuff :)
 
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3.70 star(s) 3 Votes