Captain's Log, Day, Gumdrops failure 47
Note to mods: Gimme that sweet sweet TLDR tag baby, do it for the Captain.
Crew have long given up with the Gumdrops Void's ghostly call of promises of 'update sOoOoOoOon', would much rather play cards with the Mods. It's constant whimpering out about the 'update release' date is little more than a fart in the wind at this point. It's irrelevant whatever is said, and no one truly believes the dates given anymore, not even the supposed 'dev' saying it, so why bother?
Little Suzie and the wife have long instead started reading '
War and Peace' together and have told me to take the crew to Dega-buster 5 as we've already been docked here far,
far too long.
"First off, I want to spill the beans on animations; nothing too spooky, I promise. The majority of animations I've commissioned from our animator FatCat have been posed. Inversely,
the majority of animations have not been rendered; this includes the final two animations yet to be posed." -
Gumdrops
Is production reversing backwards or something? What happened to 'Just two animations to go guys!' Jesus Christ, why...Why haven't you listed how many animations have to be rendered? Oh...Oh God...
His words are so unreliable even Gumdrops can't rely on Gumdrops anymore.
The narrative he's told is constantly changing to suit the circumstances that justify the constant missed deadlines.
Why bother keeping with a straight story when you can just move the goal post every time? Implying your update is literally just around the corner? Oh so sorry, looks like you forgot to render
NEARLY EVER ANIMATION, Oh boy, that one must have just slipped your mind aye?
Just like taking a right instead of left at albuquerque right?
"When'll it all be done? Before the heat death of the universe, probably. More surely before Christmas. Both those windows are ridiculous, already millennia past previous windows established, however it's simply embarrassing at this point to miss another promised date, to once again let you down." -
Gumdrops
Ahhhh got it, leaving it open for your *cough* gullible *cough* 'fans' so you can take it rightttttt up to Christmas without scrutiny. Gotcha.
Always keep the carrot in reach for the rabbits running on the treadmill, genius stuff.
Why suddenly care now about the missed deadlines? You've hardly addressed the issue before, and if production is truly THAT far behind, why did you think this month was possible for release?
Wiley Coyote's plans make more sense than your production and the weird, supposed timescale of this games development.
"Standing by my previous sentiment, I urge you to withhold your pledge if the weekly content leading up to Part X isn't as valuable to you as your support. I'll do my best to provide for those who choose to tag along a little longer, sharing a cutie pie or two if you'll let me."
-Gumdrops
You seem to think 'standing by your word' at this point somehow makes it more valid. Your 'word' stands on a house of cards as far as anyone with half a brain is concerned. Even Joshua Lawyer Tree points out how utterly unreliable his word truly is. What more can be said?
No one is supporting you for your weekly content of vague promises and weird angled pin-ups you shovel out.
They are supporting you for the goddamn update you've been promising for the last 2 years.
By the way, do the cutie pies you share all still want to slit their wrists or down a whole bottle of Paracetamol?
So, as many of you know
I was finally and recently kicked from the Gumdrops Discord where I decided after truly bottling this deadline and having some newbie stumble in asking how the game was going, well, I think I summed it up quite nicely.
"Either Gumdrops is a full-blown scammer or he's an accidental scammer for simply allowing this money sink hole to exist for so long and profit from it with so little to show and blatant mismanagement/abuse of Patron trust.
Don't worry though, in my absence the Discord made sure to re-affirm their loyalty to their benevolent leader.
By the way, if you ever wanted to see that the Sunk Fallacy Cost was well and truly alive, here's some empirical evidence for you.
Side note: I like how Abby's changed her name to 'Kommandant' after my little jibe, really warms my heart knowing I left her gritting her teeth in rage.
Imagine being able to play Gumdrops off like he's some lovable rogue as he swindles you of your cash.
I find it funny how Gumdrops use to get very defensive when I claimed a 'cult like mentality' was developing among his followers.
Well...Kinda hard to argue when it's so glaring in your face isn't it?
"Always believe in Gumdrops, for he is the light and truth, trust in Abby, for she speaks for the Great Prophet. Do not question the Gumdrops, he is above that, have faith, HAVE FAITH, HAVE UNQUESTIONING UNWAVERING FAITH!" -The Gumdrops Discord Creed
You just
know that's how they like it...Unquestioning, totally content.
At best only offering the mildest complaints like "Oh damn haha! I totally know how rough the wait is, like, y'know?" like brands desperately trying to relate to their audience but so very painfully out of touch and borderline condescending. Underplaying any serious and legit complaints.
And that's it really.
Will this sad and sordid tale ever have an end?
Probably not, and even if it does, it's not gonna be worth it.
Someone send Jim Sterling the documents on this stuff, it'd make a fine 'jimquisition' episode.
I thought I'd at least wait until this mystical update finally arrived before I wrote my review,
but why bother? I'm not even sure it'll ever arrive and really, does he deserve anymore polite cutesy waits before I cast judgement?
Not really,
this is your Captain,
delivering more content that Gumdrops ever could.
