Nah, that's lazy as hell imo. Actual desire is far hotter than some BS magic curse. I think just finding the guy intriguing and attractive is enough, then finding out he has a mega schlong is the icing on the cake. Maybe even there aren't any dark skinned people in her world so that would add to her curiosity. I do agree that the imagination stuff was a bit sudden though. (that shower scene was great, however)
- Thread starter Zemax
- Start date
- Jun 24, 2018
- 1,754
- 5,312
Tried the game got me interested in all the ideas the dev has. Corruption, NTR, femdom is right up my alley, will keep an eye on this see if i can throw some support to the dev next month.
- Mar 11, 2024
- 96
- 526
exactly. you had a life alteraction moment. trapped in a whole different universe. you stumbled upon a good, young, healthy, strong male. even if you had a secluded life (that being a woman in a dominantly male profession) you know somtehing or two about sex. before even you had a sexual experience/tension with mc you dont crave any other cock bbc/asian or else. story rushed for the first version I think. I dont want a "a wife and a mother" pace definetely. but at this rate in 0.2 she should have a gang bang
.
- Nov 15, 2022
- 516
- 1,024
The whole point of the NTR decisions you make is letting your “wife” get closer to another man by choosing not to spend time with her. Atrraction builds by spending time together - and after spending time with our best friend in the gym, it is natural she would have an erotic dream about him, rather than the MC.exactly. you had a life alteraction moment. trapped in a whole different universe. you stumbled upon a good, young, healthy, strong male. even if you had a secluded life (that being a woman in a dominantly male profession) you know somtehing or two about sex. before even you had a sexual experience/tension with mc you dont crave any other cock bbc/asian or else. story rushed for the first version I think. I dont want a "a wife and a mother" pace definetely. but at this rate in 0.2 she should have a gang bang
You should get an editor to go over your script or something. Grammar issues are frequent, but what really feels like missed potential is not utilizing her background to give her some defining characteristics.
First of all, they say she speaks differently, but she actually doesn't. One of her first spoken line is "fuck!" And she generally just talks like a modern person. Her medieval mannerism and speech pattern could have been a salient plot device and characterization.
And personally, I found their connection not quite there for the future NTR to destroy. It's a fake wife situation, and they had some bonding moments, but it was only like 1 day in game time. I would have included a time skip montage of working the farm together and a pivotal scene where they develop genuine feelings for one another before beginning the antagonist introductions.
That said, I was still intrigued by the possibilities and whether you will pull off the NTR narrative in a way that would appeal to me. I will be tuning in for more. Good luck!
First of all, they say she speaks differently, but she actually doesn't. One of her first spoken line is "fuck!" And she generally just talks like a modern person. Her medieval mannerism and speech pattern could have been a salient plot device and characterization.
And personally, I found their connection not quite there for the future NTR to destroy. It's a fake wife situation, and they had some bonding moments, but it was only like 1 day in game time. I would have included a time skip montage of working the farm together and a pivotal scene where they develop genuine feelings for one another before beginning the antagonist introductions.
That said, I was still intrigued by the possibilities and whether you will pull off the NTR narrative in a way that would appeal to me. I will be tuning in for more. Good luck!
- Mar 11, 2024
- 96
- 526
I actually thought about this when I first came up with the script, but then halfway through I realized my English secondary language ass isnt capable of writing something like that.
So for now I'll just have it as she's overly polite and refer to other people as "lady" or "sir". I'll find someone to help me with that before we reach chapter 3, where half of the characters speak Shakespearean.Originally there was a time skip montage, the story was just they met, she revealed herself as a person from another world and then a 6 months timeskip straight to when they are already in love and decided to move to the city together.
But I feel like that's a bit cheap and lazy. I want to gradually develope her relationship with MC at the same time with her corruption, basically like a tug of war. And living alone with MC in the middle of nowhere would give their relationship a decent head start, but that first encounter with Cedric is always gonna be on the back of her mind...
And Cedric is not the antagonist and more like a victim, he's genuinely a good friend to MC and actually feel guilty about that encounter. It's just that her sinful body also slowly corrupted him.
- Jun 24, 2018
- 1,754
- 5,312
One thing i will say about the game now that i replayed it again is the MC needs to be fleshed out more, he feels like a non-character. Big themes/kinks like NTR, femdom, etc... only work if you play them off the MC who has a distinct personality. Stuff like this only works well when it's present from his POV, whether you do it by having the MC be an oblivious idiot to what is going on around him, or being someone that fully enjoys that role.
Thats really my only complaint about the game so far, also would caution the dev not to go into too many kinks at the same time, it can be exhausting especially in the long run, pick the main 2-3 and stick with these for 90% of the game and then throw in a bone every once in a while to people that wanna see other stuff, also be very, VERY careful with certain kinks. Patreon has been very ban happy lately as another huge creator got banned off that platform for his NTR content being a bit too rapey for their taste.
Thats pretty much it as i said i like supporting new creators whenever i can i will diverge my support from another game(thats already super huge so doesnt really need it) to this game next month.
Thats really my only complaint about the game so far, also would caution the dev not to go into too many kinks at the same time, it can be exhausting especially in the long run, pick the main 2-3 and stick with these for 90% of the game and then throw in a bone every once in a while to people that wanna see other stuff, also be very, VERY careful with certain kinks. Patreon has been very ban happy lately as another huge creator got banned off that platform for his NTR content being a bit too rapey for their taste.
Thats pretty much it as i said i like supporting new creators whenever i can i will diverge my support from another game(thats already super huge so doesnt really need it) to this game next month.
- Nov 15, 2022
- 516
- 1,024
English isn’t my primary language either, but I would nonetheless like to offer my free help in writing in “Old English”. Though it won’t be truly the old stuff, just formal & fancy enough to where the characters sound from a different era, the Hollywood way, if you will.I actually thought about this when I first came up with the script, but then halfway through I realized my English secondary language ass isnt capable of writing something like that.
I like your thought process and explanation on why you decided on certain plot elements. I guess both narratives would’ve worked, though I have to admit that maybe a smaller timeskip (like a month) would’ve been perfect to establish the budding relationship between MC and the woman, while also not giving enough time to have her head over heels for him and struggle with her attraction towards other men (Cedric).Originally there was a time skip montage, the story was just they met, she revealed herself as a person from another world and then a 6 months timeskip straight to when they are already in love and decided to move to the city together.
But I feel like that's a bit cheap and lazy. I want to gradually develope her relationship with MC at the same time with her corruption, basically like a tug of war. And living alone with MC in the middle of nowhere would give their relationship a decent head start, but that first encounter with Cedric is always gonna be on the back of her mind...
And Cedric is not the antagonist and more like a victim, he's genuinely a good friend to MC and actually feel guilty about that encounter. It's just that her sinful body also slowly corrupted him.
Quick question, is pregnancy planned for some endings or?
- Mar 11, 2024
- 96
- 526
- Feb 21, 2021
- 363
- 334
- Mar 11, 2024
- 96
- 526
no idea what u talking about
- Jun 15, 2020
- 22
- 37
- Mar 11, 2024
- 96
- 526
what a blasphemous notion!
But no, I wont do a full vanilla path but maaaybe I'll do a short "What If" bonus chapter once the game is complete or something. A giant maybe tho, not sure if that would even fit the story
- Nov 15, 2022
- 516
- 1,024
As much as I love the concept, maybe adding a "vanilla" route where Celes ends up with MC would be a good idea in general? Just spitballing, this is your game after all...
- Mar 11, 2024
- 96
- 526
let's just say Im not against it, and if im gonna do anything like that it would only be after I finished all other paths
- Nov 15, 2022
- 516
- 1,024
"other" paths?
So, Celes will be getting more love interests in the future? We all know Cedric is her one and only
after that shower encounter...