- Dec 4, 2017
- 48
- 81
- Dec 4, 2017
- 48
- 81
Appreciate the criticism. Yeah, to avoid the above issues, we purposely left out smart phones and such from the story (think early 2000s). For example, Becky getting a call from her mom through Parker's house phone.
hi developers this game is awesome i like your sex scenes and animations
, but i dont like the 2nd chapter . Generally it is so bad when someone gropes and fondles your dear ones(maybe we can do because we are main character) .So i prefer 3rd chapter should prefer more sex with MC and the MC should do tit for tat brutally with the bad police for groping his mother . And that's all eagerly waiting for next update
, but i dont like the 2nd chapter . Generally it is so bad when someone gropes and fondles your dear ones(maybe we can do because we are main character) .So i prefer 3rd chapter should prefer more sex with MC and the MC should do tit for tat brutally with the bad police for groping his mother . And that's all eagerly waiting for next update so far i like it. i think its a great start. i do think a little suspension of disbelief is needed for the street scene in act 2, but hey. its a porn game. maybe its an odd country and donutistan has some odd rules. xD
either way. that intro makes me look forward to what i think and hope is to come as i'm totally into blackmail, humil, exhibition, etc. hopefully you pick up good support, tho patreon, so take care. i'll be keeping an eye out for future updates
either way. that intro makes me look forward to what i think and hope is to come as i'm totally into blackmail, humil, exhibition, etc. hopefully you pick up good support, tho patreon, so take care. i'll be keeping an eye out for future updates
- Jun 7, 2017
- 300
- 372
Seriously?! I found this to be absurdly continuity breaking. A little suspension of disbelief is ok, but what your expecting here, is just stupid. That scene with the cops, moronic, and that's the nicest term I could come up with. Its to far, and BS to a degree that you could fertilize the entirety of the free world with it.
Now, other than the idiocy that is that cop scene, the story has some potential and the art work is also good. I will give this another look see in a couple of months to see if its improved, and I hope it does. If not, I will mark this off as a good idea gone wrong and toss it in the discarded pile.
Now, other than the idiocy that is that cop scene, the story has some potential and the art work is also good. I will give this another look see in a couple of months to see if its improved, and I hope it does. If not, I will mark this off as a good idea gone wrong and toss it in the discarded pile.
- Oct 23, 2016
- 4,472
- 13,368
A lot to like in this. Decent writing, good looking ladies, some humour. Also some things to dislike, some of it just personal preferences, others from a storytelling pov.
Early 2000s it is? Well, a Farrah Fawcett poster on the wall still looks out of place then. I nearly lmao-ed over that.
As a German I totally agree with the MC that American Football is a pansy sport. All that padding and a helmet and so many points to score?
Nope, real football or what you US-Philistines call soccer is a much bigger challenge.
Hint: While I prefer soccer, the disparaging tone in regards to American Football is just me taking the piss, so don't get your knickers in a bunch.
Okay,the first chapter is fine, Betty is a cutie. MC is a bit of a perv, but who isn't at this age (though not all of us check out our mom's tits iirc ).
Now chapter two is a different story.
It's just not possible to suspend my disbelief.
No way could cops pull shit like this in front of a crowd, with kids and teachers looking on.
I can see them finding ways to do similar shit, but not at this place and time.
Just implausible that they would risk having so many witnesses for sexually assaulting a respectable woman.
And to be honest, the MC morphed into a complete dick in this chapter as well.
Yes, if this was any woman or someone he doesn't like, he might find it funny or even arousing, considering the body on her, but with his mother?
Everyone but the worst psycho bastard would be fuming at the mouth and try everything to stop those bastards going after his mom. And that's just not how the MC appears in the first chapter.
He's not the complete scumbag that the sons in games like this one often are, that's why it makes no sense.
I was about to give this a very good review for chapter 1, I would have to give a negative review for chapter 2, not because of my personal preferences, but because it just doesn't make sense the way it is told.
So I'll refrain from rating this one now and wait for more of the story.
Don't get me wrong, this could turn out a real gem, but you have to decide where you want to go with this, right now you are sending completey mixed signals.
Early 2000s it is? Well, a Farrah Fawcett poster on the wall still looks out of place then. I nearly lmao-ed over that.
As a German I totally agree with the MC that American Football is a pansy sport. All that padding and a helmet and so many points to score?
Nope, real football or what you US-Philistines call soccer is a much bigger challenge.
Hint: While I prefer soccer, the disparaging tone in regards to American Football is just me taking the piss, so don't get your knickers in a bunch.
Okay,the first chapter is fine, Betty is a cutie. MC is a bit of a perv, but who isn't at this age (though not all of us check out our mom's tits iirc
).Now chapter two is a different story.
It's just not possible to suspend my disbelief.
No way could cops pull shit like this in front of a crowd, with kids and teachers looking on.
I can see them finding ways to do similar shit, but not at this place and time.
Just implausible that they would risk having so many witnesses for sexually assaulting a respectable woman.
And to be honest, the MC morphed into a complete dick in this chapter as well.
Yes, if this was any woman or someone he doesn't like, he might find it funny or even arousing, considering the body on her, but with his mother?
Everyone but the worst psycho bastard would be fuming at the mouth and try everything to stop those bastards going after his mom. And that's just not how the MC appears in the first chapter.
He's not the complete scumbag that the sons in games like this one often are, that's why it makes no sense.
I was about to give this a very good review for chapter 1, I would have to give a negative review for chapter 2, not because of my personal preferences, but because it just doesn't make sense the way it is told.
So I'll refrain from rating this one now and wait for more of the story.
Don't get me wrong, this could turn out a real gem, but you have to decide where you want to go with this, right now you are sending completey mixed signals.
- Aug 26, 2018
- 55
- 87
The intro was i little bit "WTF?" Then the 1st chapter. Nice. Rly! 1st class renders, good story telling. I just wanted to continue. And then.... Maybe i got so mad, because it all went so natural and then a cop grope the tits of a teacher infront of the half school. her son and his bf and nobody intervene? Dont tell me such a thing happens in the US. (that today everybody uses a smartphone was already mentioned) There are plenty games with worse content. I dont care, cause they all feel like, just games. This 1 made me mad. Maybe cause all the storytelling feels like it could haben next to you. I guess u have to add rape to the content. Would be the logical conclusion from current events...
- Dec 4, 2017
- 48
- 81
Really good criticism here. We're a two-man two-chiefs team at the moment and as a side effect, there will be some inconsistencies in the vision - it's the nature of the beast. Now, with the prologue, you may play again and find ch1 is a bait and switch for ch2. In ch1 you see one slice of life, one slice of the characters, and you're lead to believe that you know them well. That's intentional.A lot to like in this. Decent writing, good looking ladies, some humour. Also some things to dislike, some of it just personal preferences, others from a storytelling pov.
Early 2000s it is? Well, a Farrah Fawcett poster on the wall still looks out of place then. I nearly lmao-ed over that.
As a German I totally agree with the MC that American Football is a pansy sport. All that padding and a helmet and so many points to score?
Nope, real football or what you US-Philistines call soccer is a much bigger challenge.
Hint: While I prefer soccer, the disparaging tone in regards to American Football is just me taking the piss, so don't get your knickers in a bunch.
Okay,the first chapter is fine, Betty is a cutie. MC is a bit of a perv, but who isn't at this age (though not all of us check out our mom's tits iirc
Now chapter two is a different story.
It's just not possible to suspend my disbelief.
No way could cops pull shit like this in front of a crowd, with kids and teachers looking on.
I can see them finding ways to do similar shit, but not at this place and time.
Just implausible that they would risk having so many witnesses for sexually assaulting a respectable woman.
And to be honest, the MC morphed into a complete dick in this chapter as well.
Yes, if this was any woman or someone he doesn't like, he might find it funny or even arousing, considering the body on her, but with his mother?
Everyone but the worst psycho bastard would be fuming at the mouth and try everything to stop those bastards going after his mom. And that's just not how the MC appears in the first chapter.
He's not the complete scumbag that the sons in games like this one often are, that's why it makes no sense.
I was about to give this a very good review for chapter 1, I would have to give a negative review for chapter 2, not because of my personal preferences, but because it just doesn't make sense the way it is told.
So I'll refrain from rating this one now and wait for more of the story.
Don't get me wrong, this could turn out a real gem, but you have to decide where you want to go with this, right now you are sending completey mixed signals.
Glad to hear you enjoyed the realism, that's what we were going for with this story. Ch2 stretches into fiction, but not completely. Far worse things have happened in the US than this - the only difference here being that we're showing it in an erotic (and therefor perhaps offensive) light.
More in lines of a 0.02. Just a different naming convention.
I don't agree that it works at all. It's so far into ridiculous that it really disrupted the scene for me. Why not work into the situation with a little subtlety? I hope you do because other than that there's a lot of potential here.
- Jul 14, 2017
- 392
- 683
I like the VN so far. The contrast between chapters makes the last scene way more intense and enjoyable for me.
It's true that in the real world it would have been pretty much impossible that nobody had recorded the scene with their smartphone or even physically intervened. Since the first chapter is credible enough story-wise and very realistic in terms of character's emotions and reactions, the second chapter looks even more unrealistic by contrast. Perhaps the body search could have been conducted in a more secluded area, just in front of the boys and a couple of other intimidated witnesses that would spread the news afterwards.
Anyway, I'm perfectly happy if the first chapter was just used as a device to deliver a punchier plot twist and from now on you keep the vibe of the second one. Public humiliation and cuckolding are always fun!
It's true that in the real world it would have been pretty much impossible that nobody had recorded the scene with their smartphone or even physically intervened. Since the first chapter is credible enough story-wise and very realistic in terms of character's emotions and reactions, the second chapter looks even more unrealistic by contrast. Perhaps the body search could have been conducted in a more secluded area, just in front of the boys and a couple of other intimidated witnesses that would spread the news afterwards.
Anyway, I'm perfectly happy if the first chapter was just used as a device to deliver a punchier plot twist and from now on you keep the vibe of the second one. Public humiliation and cuckolding are always fun!
- Aug 29, 2018
- 1,663
- 1,198
- Jun 14, 2018
- 1,606
- 2,253
No criticism intended at all. I know in order to tell a story later, you need to set up circumstances now.
I was going for a lighthearted dig at students and their cellphones, not the game.
I'm kinda regretting using the phrase "suspend belief" now - since I'd already guessed at the reasoning behind it, even if I hadn't picked up on the lack of cellphones due to the year. Games NOT have cellphones is a lot more common anyway... though that is largely because most authors don't know how to implement them into their story. Better to have two characters in the same room, rather than at opposite ends of the phone.
Unless it breaks something you have planned for later, maybe alter the introduction to hint at a timeframe. Maybe the cops mention the millenium in a few years time. Maybe one cop talks about the other joining the force in 1976 and how this is his 20th year. Maybe just have the MC talk about the music charts and how the band {insert band name here} are about to release their latest album {blah, blah} or how they're desperate to watch {insert film} next month. It shouldn't break anything for those of us who've already played it, and clarify things for future players.
Let's be honest though, most of us replying are just not used to a different sub-genre of game. We're not used to playing games with a theme of humiliation and abuse by authority figures. Hardly anyone in the "Non-consent/Reluctance" games we might normally play are actually non-consenting. We're so much more familiar with reluctance, and generally only halfhearted reluctance at that. If we're your target audience, then maybe tone it down a bit - if we're not, forget us.
I hope it goes without saying you should write the story you want to write and ignore the "but your 1st person shooter game doesn't include enough match-three mechanics for my liking".
- Mar 20, 2017
- 146
- 116
I always like ntr scenes but this cop scene is so fuckin awkward and stupid.
- Jan 16, 2018
- 716
- 941
OMG loved the story so far also am big fan of cheating(NTR)Many thanks. - this work will be purely kinetic, but stay tuned for future projects!
Playing a kinetic novel, you'll have to pace yourself
Indeed, this is strongly influenced by one of my stories on literotica (which itself is heavily influenced on another prominent writer's work)
Purely kinetic/visual, but stay tuned for future projects! Really nice to hear that you enjoyed the models. Rich put an incredible amount of work into developing unique characters with realistic and natural features. As for the content, to each their own
can you tell me your story name on literotica so i can check it am always there on this site 24 hour a day as a fan of cheating wives
if this story going where i think its going which i think is cheating iam going to pledge the highest tier you have..am gona have to wait next update to see.
ty for your great work