- Aug 19, 2018
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- Jun 27, 2019
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No worries, it was my mistake, honestly i should have asked there first before bringing the subject here, sorry.
I'll edit my comments then, for anyone that's confused. That sounding thing is still kinda weird for me (since we have a fairy maybe it'll be a fisting in the D... ouch
) but not a deal breaker.Thank you for clarifying my doubts and Good luck.
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- Nov 22, 2018
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Not bad. A pretty fun game. But it needs a proofread.
A lot of the mistakes in the script are missing periods and vocative commas and some lines starting with lowercase.
Until a band of adventurers, hailing from a different corner of the three kingdoms -> (should probably be "each hailing from")
reach the the mountain -> (just one "the")
the heroes fortune -> hero's
brutalism -> brutality (TIL brutalism is a style of architecture)
Quite down, I heard you. -> Quiet
Because just one person -> Because I'm just one person
Gus, look at the jobs you take now. -> [mc]
Ah, I'm sorry I must have forgotten to grab my coins. -> sorry, I
Don't Fret Ophelia {i}I'll{/i} cover his tab -> ("fret" in lowercase, commas before and after "Ophelia, period at the end)
dont -> don't
take some time to navigation to -> (idk, "to get to" maybe)
'take a job in the mystic swamp' she says/ -> (that slash should probably be a period)
if had ever taken one of their warhammers -> if you had ever
nope we dont have them in the Fairy Kingdom, I assumed there were like imps. -> ("Nope", "don't", there -> they)
It's dark should we really be going their way -> dark, should
Relax it will be lit in the cave -> (comma after "Relax" and a period at the end)
Tell you what, why, don't we set up -> (no comma after why)
know if they movement in the night -> move
Thanks for calming down back there; -> calming me down
Well, like you, she liked to run your mouth off. -> run her mouth.
No the fairies -> No, the fairies
We're too boxed in something like that -> in, something
They can't this is an old abandoned mine. -> They can't, this is
Frogman treasure! Or do you think it's the miners? -> miners'
Becasue -> Because
it can be replaced you can't. -> replaced, you
(And then I got tired of taking notes, so this is all you get from me. Still, hope this helps.)
Also, the outcries of "oh christ" feels weird. This is a fantasy world, so I doubt the word "Christ" means anything there.
A lot of the mistakes in the script are missing periods and vocative commas and some lines starting with lowercase.
Until a band of adventurers, hailing from a different corner of the three kingdoms -> (should probably be "each hailing from")
reach the the mountain -> (just one "the")
the heroes fortune -> hero's
brutalism -> brutality (TIL brutalism is a style of architecture)
Quite down, I heard you. -> Quiet
Because just one person -> Because I'm just one person
Gus, look at the jobs you take now. -> [mc]
Ah, I'm sorry I must have forgotten to grab my coins. -> sorry, I
Don't Fret Ophelia {i}I'll{/i} cover his tab -> ("fret" in lowercase, commas before and after "Ophelia, period at the end)
dont -> don't
take some time to navigation to -> (idk, "to get to" maybe)
'take a job in the mystic swamp' she says/ -> (that slash should probably be a period)
if had ever taken one of their warhammers -> if you had ever
nope we dont have them in the Fairy Kingdom, I assumed there were like imps. -> ("Nope", "don't", there -> they)
It's dark should we really be going their way -> dark, should
Relax it will be lit in the cave -> (comma after "Relax" and a period at the end)
Tell you what, why, don't we set up -> (no comma after why)
know if they movement in the night -> move
Thanks for calming down back there; -> calming me down
Well, like you, she liked to run your mouth off. -> run her mouth.
No the fairies -> No, the fairies
We're too boxed in something like that -> in, something
They can't this is an old abandoned mine. -> They can't, this is
Frogman treasure! Or do you think it's the miners? -> miners'
Becasue -> Because
it can be replaced you can't. -> replaced, you
(And then I got tired of taking notes, so this is all you get from me. Still, hope this helps.)
Also, the outcries of "oh christ" feels weird. This is a fantasy world, so I doubt the word "Christ" means anything there.
- Sep 26, 2021
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Wow Clover looks so adorable and I imagine Ophelia is the redhead (I love redheads), so I have a couple of important questions, which are: Will there be more LIs and will there HAREM?
Will there be incest?
and is the content forced or can it be avoided? By this I mean some fetishes or tags that sometimes appear in the game that are not to everyone's liking, especially lesbians, Ntr, femdom, etc.
- Apr 8, 2018
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Thank you for the feedback! Yeah English is a weak point for me I will have these fixed in a 1.2 patch.
Yes Ophelia is the redhead, the current chapter focuses on clover, the only content for for her at moment is a bonus threesome scene. There is no harem at the moment but in a future chapter there will be another three ladies. (Fumi as seen in the chapter 2 preview) The blacksmiths daughter and a Cyclops.
Yes all of the more niche fetishes are optional.
- Sep 26, 2021
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But could there be in the future?
And I guess there won't be incest, unless the MC has a family and they get involved in the future?
- Apr 8, 2018
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Yeah most of the story ideas I have just involve MC and one other girl at a time but it's possible I could have more threesome stuff.
Sorry I missed that in your original questions, no I don't really plan on adding family members.
- Jul 31, 2017
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Okay so no harem. Then question.
Is every girl going to be forced on the MC like Clover was? Will we get choices on who to be with? Since there is no harem, it's not a good idea to force girls/relationships on the MC without choice. This just leads to forced unnecessary drama later.
There's already going to be some drama now with Clover being forced, especially since you've already cemented them being in a relationship now (talking about stuck with each other now and how much they love each other). So, now any further girls that show up, we'd have to cheat on Clover to be with them.
So, I hope we'll get choices in the future on who to be with and not be forced to cheat on Clover since this won't be a harem game.
- Jan 6, 2024
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Taking about bugs, there are a few misplaced renders.
The blondie/horned girl - I choose her to be female, but while checking her - when we choose "armpit" - we get a few renders of her with dick
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I really wish Dev's would not oversize a man's tool to the ridiculous, it ruins an otherwise good story
- Mar 15, 2020
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GrimCiri
Beastofvalhalla is correct. The file size at v1.1 is over 5GB. Unless you plan to release chapters of ~5GB each, you should work on the compression. The file size is a huge game-breaker for a lot of players. Not me, of course.
Still...Check the last link in my sig.
- Sep 3, 2017
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All due respect to the dev and the game, the best part of this thread is this image, googling it, and discovering that Prison School has a fucking live action miniseries. Like...what? How did I not know about this?
- Apr 8, 2018
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- Nov 22, 2018
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About the "Christ" thing, a more generic "Oh god" or "Oh gods" in place of "Oh Christ" would probably not raise any eyebrows. Or you could find other words to express surprise/astonishment/whatever that have nothing to do with religion, like "wow" (which may not work in every case).
About Christmas. This one is probably fine, I think. When I read that, I just thought they have a holiday in the winter like seemingly every civilization ever (both real and fictional), and honestly, who cares about the name. Using the name Christmas to convey in a single word that it's a lot like our real-world holiday is maybe a bit weird, but it gets the point across without spending much time explaining it. Though given that the conversation goes into some detail about presents and stuff, simply switching the Chrismas name out for some wintery-sounding word probably works too, people will probably piece stuff together from context.
Lots of fictional worlds have what's basically Christmas, just with different names and different details. World of Warcraft has Winter Veil. In MLP:FiM, they celebrate Hearth's Warming, which is basically Christmas, except it also serves as a celebration of the country being founded. You don't need a lot of detail unless you want to tell a whole story about it.
I actually liked the references to Christ and Santa. It's a refreshing change from the generic fantasy gods and really, you don't have to think about it too much. It's just an adult game.
I have just played version 1.1 and it IS a very fun game. I like the whole "old adventurer turned semi-peasant", but I think it would be more fun with more choices in the game.
Ideas:
1: I think there could have been a scenario where the hero didn't want to wait till dawn and went into the cave early, causing Clover to be afraid of the dark?
2: There could also be a small side-plot/minigame about feeding the chickens? -> they are living creatures and should be in the hero's mind in the morning?
3: You could make a scene where the hero moves the furniture from Clovers small apartment to his house?
(I for one would suggest it if I had sex with a cutie like her? -> again maybe make it a choice?)
First chapter was fun and I look forward to see the next episodes.
Thanks for share and best of luck.
Ideas:
1: I think there could have been a scenario where the hero didn't want to wait till dawn and went into the cave early, causing Clover to be afraid of the dark?
2: There could also be a small side-plot/minigame about feeding the chickens? -> they are living creatures and should be in the hero's mind in the morning?
3: You could make a scene where the hero moves the furniture from Clovers small apartment to his house?
(I for one would suggest it if I had sex with a cutie like her? -> again maybe make it a choice?)
First chapter was fun and I look forward to see the next episodes.
Thanks for share and best of luck.