D
Deleted member 3145675
Guest
Guest
Hi,
So far and for an alpha stage - it is rather well done.
True - some "fleshing out" could be done - but I think you"ll have time to do that (back story for characters - mostly Emily - how did he ended up with her?)
1 thing that "annoyed" me is the "respawn location" after some action (MC is always in bedroom)
Regarding the Femdom aspect (and/or the Findom subplot) I find them rather well written.
(a bit harsh in tone perhaps but not unbelievable)
(you could perhaps add some new clothes for the MC?)
Prioritizing your patrons opinion (thru polls) is (I think) an excellent choice - Carry On my Good Man
GL
So far and for an alpha stage - it is rather well done.
True - some "fleshing out" could be done - but I think you"ll have time to do that (back story for characters - mostly Emily - how did he ended up with her?)
1 thing that "annoyed" me is the "respawn location" after some action (MC is always in bedroom)
Regarding the Femdom aspect (and/or the Findom subplot) I find them rather well written.
(a bit harsh in tone perhaps but not unbelievable)
(you could perhaps add some new clothes for the MC?)
Prioritizing your patrons opinion (thru polls) is (I think) an excellent choice - Carry On my Good Man
GL