Java Football Camp [v0.7.5] [Trombocyte Games]
- Thread starter Trombocyte Games
- Start date
I don't see any new quest objectives after the scene in Alan's bedroom. Is that the end of this version?
Separate from my earlier message about the end of content, I'd like to now review and offer opinion on what I've played.
First, I like the general plot so far, the premise is believable and is likely something that has already happened somewhere. The follow on details and expansion of the plot feel a bit hollow to me, I'd like to see more details filled in.
For example: the first the she meets the old man, I think it's acceptable that she'd take some time out to go help him do chores, but some of the missing details leave me with questions
1) If she is taking the whole day off from training, why does the coach allow it? It would make more sense if she does one or two chores for the guy after training, not before. For example, she has a training day, on the way home she runs into the guy and feels sorry for him so goes to help. Then she starts one basket of laundry, and cleans the dishes and maybe cleans the dust in the kitchen then after the laundry is dry she hangs it up. On another day(although why she would go back knowing he is a pervert is another question entirely) she could mop, sweep or vacuum the floors and clean the bathroom. The other benefit to structuring this way is that for each set of chores, the pervert can molest her in a different way, which makes it less grindy for the player.
2) As I mentioned in question 1 - After the first time, why is she going back? The answer to this could be provided a couple ways - easiest is probably he offers money and this gives her a way to pay for stuff. Another option is have the old guy be the coach's father - re-write the introduction to the old man, instead of meeting on the road, the coach introduces him after training. You could set the scene up where she overhears the man asking the coach for help and he says he has no time to help; she could then offer to help as she does on the road. This approach means that if she now refuses to go back, she has to be worried that the father will tell his son what a horrible person she is and the coach will make it more difficult for her to train.
3) Some days she doesn't shower and some days she does - I think after every day of training, either with the coach or playing with the team should have a shower scene after it. This also allows opportunity to expand on the plot line of her being harassed in the locker room. Start with random boys trying to peep on her. When one of the boys tries to stop the peeping, she can be thankful to that boy, and that will lead to the future relationship with that one after the party. Also, when he starts getting beat up by the other boys, the peeping can start again, especially after she is forced to strip in front of the team. That can then lead to escalation with boys trying to shower with her at the same time, then touch her while showering, etc.
4) She has no life outside of camp - she goes to training then goes home to sleep. After she gets to her room, I suggest expanding options to allow her to call home, or write letters. Or maybe just sit and think about the fit young men she saw in the locker room. Maybe she will want to masterbate? Other ideas, give her books or magazines to read. If she has a laptop, you can have her write via email instead and also open up possibility for her to see porn and again lead into a scene where she touches herself sexually. If she does this, you could use that as a option for other versions of scenes, where she compares the boys to the men she thought about in the stories or videos she watched in books or online.
5) coach training mini-game - after the mini-game, if you don't do the arrows correctly, the punishment is that your physique is not improved; please consider another option here if you are going to expand on the stuff I mentioned above. The coaches job is to get her fit, if she fails to do it on regular training, have him punish her by doing extra exercise or laborious chores around the field, like cleaning up the trash where the spectators sit, this would be a scene where she has to run up the stairs for the seats on the side of the field, go down the rows to sweep all the trash behind the bleachers then go under the bleachers to put the trash into bags. It's gross and can take a long time depending on how many bleachers are around the field. If the field has no bleachers where they are training, then there is surely a field where people can bring their own chairs and leave behind trash for her to clean up. If she does the punishment, she gets the physique point she missed earlier, but has no time to do anything else before she takes a shower and goes home.
I'd be interested in reading your thoughts about my ideas.
Thank you
First, I like the general plot so far, the premise is believable and is likely something that has already happened somewhere. The follow on details and expansion of the plot feel a bit hollow to me, I'd like to see more details filled in.
For example: the first the she meets the old man, I think it's acceptable that she'd take some time out to go help him do chores, but some of the missing details leave me with questions
1) If she is taking the whole day off from training, why does the coach allow it? It would make more sense if she does one or two chores for the guy after training, not before. For example, she has a training day, on the way home she runs into the guy and feels sorry for him so goes to help. Then she starts one basket of laundry, and cleans the dishes and maybe cleans the dust in the kitchen then after the laundry is dry she hangs it up. On another day(although why she would go back knowing he is a pervert is another question entirely) she could mop, sweep or vacuum the floors and clean the bathroom. The other benefit to structuring this way is that for each set of chores, the pervert can molest her in a different way, which makes it less grindy for the player.
2) As I mentioned in question 1 - After the first time, why is she going back? The answer to this could be provided a couple ways - easiest is probably he offers money and this gives her a way to pay for stuff. Another option is have the old guy be the coach's father - re-write the introduction to the old man, instead of meeting on the road, the coach introduces him after training. You could set the scene up where she overhears the man asking the coach for help and he says he has no time to help; she could then offer to help as she does on the road. This approach means that if she now refuses to go back, she has to be worried that the father will tell his son what a horrible person she is and the coach will make it more difficult for her to train.
3) Some days she doesn't shower and some days she does - I think after every day of training, either with the coach or playing with the team should have a shower scene after it. This also allows opportunity to expand on the plot line of her being harassed in the locker room. Start with random boys trying to peep on her. When one of the boys tries to stop the peeping, she can be thankful to that boy, and that will lead to the future relationship with that one after the party. Also, when he starts getting beat up by the other boys, the peeping can start again, especially after she is forced to strip in front of the team. That can then lead to escalation with boys trying to shower with her at the same time, then touch her while showering, etc.
4) She has no life outside of camp - she goes to training then goes home to sleep. After she gets to her room, I suggest expanding options to allow her to call home, or write letters. Or maybe just sit and think about the fit young men she saw in the locker room. Maybe she will want to masterbate? Other ideas, give her books or magazines to read. If she has a laptop, you can have her write via email instead and also open up possibility for her to see porn and again lead into a scene where she touches herself sexually. If she does this, you could use that as a option for other versions of scenes, where she compares the boys to the men she thought about in the stories or videos she watched in books or online.
5) coach training mini-game - after the mini-game, if you don't do the arrows correctly, the punishment is that your physique is not improved; please consider another option here if you are going to expand on the stuff I mentioned above. The coaches job is to get her fit, if she fails to do it on regular training, have him punish her by doing extra exercise or laborious chores around the field, like cleaning up the trash where the spectators sit, this would be a scene where she has to run up the stairs for the seats on the side of the field, go down the rows to sweep all the trash behind the bleachers then go under the bleachers to put the trash into bags. It's gross and can take a long time depending on how many bleachers are around the field. If the field has no bleachers where they are training, then there is surely a field where people can bring their own chairs and leave behind trash for her to clean up. If she does the punishment, she gets the physique point she missed earlier, but has no time to do anything else before she takes a shower and goes home.
I'd be interested in reading your thoughts about my ideas.
Thank you
- Sep 29, 2019
- 347
- 135
Mate real make a Fucking idiot Mode after 3 time loose you pass automatic as im not able to to pass the first player have try 200 Times now i want to Fap not trying shit mini games that dont work.Nothing pop up so how do i know when i have to Dribble or Pass the shit ball every time i click something she kick the ball away and i loose
- Nov 19, 2017
- 703
- 848
I don't know what problem you have.
The mini-games work. However, you have to complete them to increase your stats. I think you have to complete them 5 times before you should try the first test game.
Alternatively, instead of training, you can earn bonus points at Grandpa's.
I really wish that when given the option to do something that you are ACTUALLY ABLE TO DO IT. Really stupid to have 2 choices when only 1 is an option right now.
You need press Q to opponent, when you make required score you can press E to the next opponent and end mini game
- May 22, 2021
- 3
- 1
- Jun 8, 2017
- 97
- 222
I like how the writing is bad, but to make up for it the art is also bad.
- Nov 19, 2017
- 703
- 848
Few new scenes and unfortunately in my opinion a bit inconsistent. I played for several days and tried to go through all the decisions.
Why does Varya stay when she is raped in the field in front of witnesses? Why doesn't anyone step in and help her? If that person were to pay their bet, it could be twisted so that Varya would be in their debt.
It could be her boyfriend, which would deepen the relationship, but it could also be her bully, leading her further into the downward spiral. But if she says no in the field, gets raped and then just goes to sleep and the next day goes by as if nothing had happened, that doesn't fit.
In general, I think it's a bit too fast now when it comes to the daily routine. If the pace continues like this, the camp won't just last 3 weeks but a whole year.
Get up, jerk someone off, sleep.
Get up, do the dishes, sleep.
Get up, have your breasts groped, sleep.
Get up, 5min action, sleep........
Why does Varya stay when she is raped in the field in front of witnesses? Why doesn't anyone step in and help her? If that person were to pay their bet, it could be twisted so that Varya would be in their debt.
It could be her boyfriend, which would deepen the relationship, but it could also be her bully, leading her further into the downward spiral. But if she says no in the field, gets raped and then just goes to sleep and the next day goes by as if nothing had happened, that doesn't fit.
In general, I think it's a bit too fast now when it comes to the daily routine. If the pace continues like this, the camp won't just last 3 weeks but a whole year.
Get up, jerk someone off, sleep.
Get up, do the dishes, sleep.
Get up, have your breasts groped, sleep.
Get up, 5min action, sleep........
- Nov 9, 2018
- 69
- 66
- Apr 24, 2023
- 196
- 180
- Feb 23, 2023
- 8,462
- 4,565
FootballCamp-0.6.5
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- Nov 19, 2017
- 703
- 848
Again just an update on a rape scene that can't be avoided.
Why does Varya even stay in the camp?
What is missing are positive aspects. For example, the next test match against the village club and the next victory celebration. Varya should be able to decide what happens next. Is she having sex with her boyfriend, partying with the team, drinking too much or was the old man in the audience buying her a drink?
So many ways to make camp more interesting for Varya.
Why does Varya even stay in the camp?
What is missing are positive aspects. For example, the next test match against the village club and the next victory celebration. Varya should be able to decide what happens next. Is she having sex with her boyfriend, partying with the team, drinking too much or was the old man in the audience buying her a drink?
So many ways to make camp more interesting for Varya.