VN Ren'Py Further Education [Ep.6 v0.6] [Kvitravn Tales]

2.90 star(s) 15 Votes

Kvitravn Dev

Making Memories / Further Education
Game Developer
Jul 1, 2020
374
3,252
Like I said what does the gigolo add? All that scene manages to accomplish is make Carmine seem like an unscrupulous woman who is willing to get fucked by anyone, yet chickens out at the last minute. In other words, she sees no problem with spreading her legs for men she doesn't care about or even know, she just isn't ready yet. That's not attractive, endearing, or even interesting, it's just gross. It detracts from her character, similarly to Elise. What benefit is there to making her that way? None.

As for Flynn, he doesn't have to knock the guy out, but he could at the very least tell him to shut up and fuck off or something, instead of just taking it like a bitch. Especially when the guy puts his card into his shirt, for someone who's so averse to being touched this is the sole instance where Flynn doesn't react even though it's the most normal/appropriate instance to react to.
That's exactly my point, you're supposed to think that it's not attractive or endearing- it's a woman in her forties who's also not getting her intimate needs met, the moment was there to make her feel weak/sorry/pathetic over her strong exterior but I also want to show that in the end she knows she isn't promiscuous through her actions, her inner self just wouldn't let her give in.

As for Elise, same thing- what is this knockout hottie doing screwing escorts? Because she's a flawed human being, she'd rather have someone dress up like her crush of the day than actually ask them out because she knows it's risky for her to involve anyone into her business- she was rich for sure but also trapped because of her own actions.

And as for Flynn not saying anything to the guy, he's a public servant, so not only does he takes to the heart he's also recently just elevated to the level of a national hero so he can't afford to fall to that level.
 
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johnmnf692

Member
Jun 20, 2022
412
1,003
That's exactly my point, you're supposed to think that it's not attractive or endearing- it's a woman in her forties who's also not getting her intimate needs met, the moment was there to make her feel weak/sorry/pathetic over her strong exterior but I also want to show that in the end she knows she isn't promiscuous through her actions, her inner self just wouldn't let her give in.

As for Elise, same thing- what is this knockout hottie doing screwing escorts? Because she's a flawed human being, she'd rather have someone dress up like her crush of the day than actually ask them out because she knows it's risky for her to involve anyone into her business- she was rich for sure but also trapped because of her own actions.

And as for Flynn not saying anything to the guy, he's a public servant, so not only does he takes to the heart he's also recently just elevated to the level of a national hero so he can't afford to fall to that level.
I understand what you were trying to accomplish, I just think there are better methods of accomplishing it. Methods that don't involve essentially paying to whore themselves out, which doesn't simply show these characters weaknesses, it makes them less desirable, which harms player investment in their potential romantic entanglements with Flynn. In Carmine's case, it's not the end of the world, but in Elise's case, she's completely torched as a potential LI. Which the game certainly at least implies she is.

As for Elise, even if you want that dynamic, which is really dumb for multiple reasons, we don't need to be forced to watch it, it's gross and unnecessary. She wasn't even into the sex, she didn't even pay attention, so you can't tell me it makes more sense for her to do this rather than just use a vibrator. If she wants to pretend that she's fucking her crush, then she should at least be into it as if she were actually fucking her crush, that would still be dumb, but it would at least be consistent.

Flynn has no problem talking shit to Emma, in public, minutes before, but won't even tell a literal prostitute to take a hike when no one is around.
 

Kvitravn Dev

Making Memories / Further Education
Game Developer
Jul 1, 2020
374
3,252
I understand what you were trying to accomplish, I just think there are better methods of accomplishing it. Methods that don't involve essentially paying to whore themselves out, which doesn't simply show these characters weaknesses, it makes them less desirable, which harms player investment in their potential romantic entanglements with Flynn. In Carmine's case, it's not the end of the world, but in Elise's case, she's completely torched as a potential LI. Which the game certainly at least implies she is.

As for Elise, even if you want that dynamic, which is really dumb for multiple reasons, we don't need to be forced to watch it, it's gross and unnecessary. She wasn't even into the sex, she didn't even pay attention, so you can't tell me it makes more sense for her to do this rather than just use a vibrator. If she wants to pretend that she's fucking her crush, then she should at least be into it as if she were actually fucking her crush, that would still be dumb, but it would at least be consistent.

Flynn has no problem talking shit to Emma, in public, minutes before, but won't even tell a literal prostitute to take a hike when no one is around.
Upon further reading your reasoning I can safely say that it's a taste issue - which is more than fine for me.

Elise uses sex as a stress relief, and when she thinks she'll do something like this recreate a actual connection, of course it fails - they characters themselves say that she's just using the sex worker as a tool and the sex worker himself addresses that.

Carmine? She wasn't TRYING to sleep with him to begin with- the guy is a host from a host club, Amelie even said that it cost her a whole month's salary to set up the whole day- I modelled it after the Golden Circle tour here in Iceland- the potential intimacy being a part of the whole deal which wasn't even a compulsary thing.

And of course there's difference between the host and Emma, the host was under serious threat of bodily harm, of course he's gonna have grievances and Flynn understands his frustration, Emma? She has a history of being mean, condescending and what not, of course flynn doesn't feel a thing while talking smack to Emma.

But again, I get it- there are somethings that conflicts with your personal beliefs and that's absolutely fine with me, I don't write with safety and mass appeal in mind which goes against my beliefs.
 
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sorco2003

Well-Known Member
Sep 3, 2020
1,847
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There's this thing-
I either focus on my episode, which will make the advertisement and fun renders take a back seat-
OR
I do all that and my progress on the episode suffers.
Because the thing is, I'm only getting faster and more creative with my approach in storytelling and in the technical aspects as well.
I've never done 1000+ renders THIS FAST!.

The numbers right?
Renders: 1073/1500+
Coding: 50% Done!
Music: Picked up, now only implementation remains (same as before)
SFX : After Coding
 

AlterdStates7

Member
Feb 18, 2020
183
369
Finally got around to trying this one out a few weeks ago and thought I'd leave my impression of it. The spy/thriller story isn't anything particularly groundbreaking, but it is more than entertaining enough to keep my attention and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes. Where it really shines is in the interactions between MC and the LIs, it has all the warmth and comfy-ness in their interactions that made me love MM. The LIs feel like "home" I suppose is how I'd put it. My only criticisms are that the english is a bit wonky, not technically wrong, but just certain phrases or word combinations that are a bit awkward. Though that seems to be improving or maybe I'm getting immune to it lol. Some of the renders are a little too grainy for a second AVN. Finally the Ava pregnancy issue as a "realism" decision, when this story like any spy/thriller story requires a good amount of suspension of disbelief, is kind of shooting yourself in the foot. Best of luck with this one, looking forward to more Carmine.
 

sorco2003

Well-Known Member
Sep 3, 2020
1,847
13,584
any idea when does the next update comes
Not date yet ... but

There's this thing-
I either focus on my episode, which will make the advertisement and fun renders take a back seat-
OR
I do all that and my progress on the episode suffers.
Because the thing is, I'm only getting faster and more creative with my approach in storytelling and in the technical aspects as well.
I've never done 1000+ renders THIS FAST!.

The numbers right?
Renders: 1073/1500+
Coding: 50% Done!
Music: Picked up, now only implementation remains (same as before)
SFX : After Coding
 

Wolfram99

Member
Aug 20, 2023
135
192
It's weird that El claims to be childhood friend of MC from the age of 6 but didn't know that Carmine is his mom.
That until the MC was 21 Carmine didn't mention her son in the workplace so that he could be adopted and change his last name to have no nepotism accusations.
Xiomaras backstory about chartered accountancy and university dropout is weird since later she refers to doing photography, or maybe the chronolgy in dialogue is weird.

The music is ok, just that it is mostly the same and there is no stop to it during scenes.
The ambiance it provides is great and fitting, but i think moderation is key.
 

Kvitravn Dev

Making Memories / Further Education
Game Developer
Jul 1, 2020
374
3,252
It's weird that El claims to be childhood friend of MC from the age of 6 but didn't know that Carmine is his mom.
That until the MC was 21 Carmine didn't mention her son in the workplace so that he could be adopted and change his last name to have no nepotism accusations.
Xiomaras backstory about chartered accountancy and university dropout is weird since later she refers to doing photography, or maybe the chronolgy in dialogue is weird.

The music is ok, just that it is mostly the same and there is no stop to it during scenes.
The ambiance it provides is great and fitting, but i think moderation is key.
It'll be rightfully explored in future episodes, obviously.
And about the music, thank you for the feedback i'll try and experiment with more pauses or make more variations of the same track.
 
2.90 star(s) 15 Votes