Hey guys,
I would probably be at the side opposition if I were a player and not the dev in this situation. What happened is completely absurd and I have criticized 2 devs on their Patreon for similar occurrences, perhaps they were honest about what happened and I am experiencing the good old karma.
I don't know how you calculated that I just lost 5 supporters but outcome is I am now receiving nothing compared to what I got on an average release month. I am ashamed for still taking this money but please remember I literally quit my job at first chance for this project. I have already noted the names of the people who supported me through this, I will compensate as much as I can when I return.
I have expressed how I loved working on this, and the people who saw me here, you know how enthusiastic I am about this project. My supporters were increasing greatly in numbers with each release. It didn't reach to a great amount but I was much, much more successful compared to many other games than popped up here. This project was a newfound hope for my life. I have experienced the joy of achievement that I never experienced before. I even messaged and expressed my gratitude to the admin of F95, Sam, for literally giving me hope about my future. There is no reason for me to fake a life-long traumatizing event just to lose great amount of future money and abandon something that brought me hope.
I haven't "made the money." I haven't earned more than I made on my cashier job on my peak release month. Only logical explanation to lie about this would be to make another game without informing you, which you can ask to moderation team if they see the same IP lurking around the forum, I am sure they have the means to check this. (I once searched for netorare tag to find something to play on my phone)
About the lack of updates. I surely have access to internet. I don't know how to explain this without sounding entitled. I just don't want to make explanations about what happened in a porn forum. I don't want to engage anything related to my guilty pleasure while I am going through this. I want to separate my trauma from this project and you guys as much as I can.
I have started this project with the clearly visible mindset of "I won't be like others." I have spent ungodly amount of time by engaging with people who will never pay me on here. I will do it again, it wasn't a chore for me, I was doing it because I enjoy it. But I have seen the benefit of engaging with you guys.
I am aware that the majority of my financial supporters left because they didn't hear from me and they thought I fled and abandoned this project. If I was still seeking to milk another dollar from you through this, I would be here feeding you sweet nothings everyday. I even need the money like I never did before in my life, and trust me, logical thing would be to be as active as possible and keep my supporters through engagement while dealing with this. Yet I cannot bring myself to focus on this part of my life. My literal thoughts has been "OK, we do not think about this project now. It will temporarily crumble and people will talk shit, but I will come back and talk to them when I am not on the verge of suicide." I don't want this. I don't want to be here doing this. I want to go back to my home (which is now vacated and my furniture is stored temporarily in a fucking basement since I couldn't pay the rent while I am here) and continue doing what I thought I would be doing for the rest of my life.
All the criticism is welcome and I haven't seen an illogical argument directed sheerly towards harming the project, I understand your points and they would make complete sense if my life wasn't a joke right now. I am the kind of a person that cannot easily ignore what others say, as you have witnessed through my activity in this forum. Your disappointment is a burden on my shoulders and perhaps that's why I am avoiding to face you.
Critize me all you want, it's in your right. Just don't argue and facepalm each other. And don't fucking say the game is dead, it will continue and it will be completed.