Tavi13

Active Member
Feb 1, 2021
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Anyway, I hope I didn't scare anyone off with this wall of text, I'm curious to know what you think Rex, and what everyone else thinks of my plan.
As I have said elsewhere, I am one of the ones here for the stories. Sure; I love the lewdz, I'd have to turn in my perv card if I didn't, but they will never keep my attention for long.

I have enjoyed watching the story (and its world) evolve, and I am interested in seeing where you take this. I also appreciate the fact that you have a set idea of where you want to go, and how to get there. Looking forward to the trip!
 
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itfod

Active Member
Apr 16, 2021
512
339
Quick question; just realised that I don't have all of Autumn's photo's available yet, there's an 'event' set missing.

Is that unreleased content, or can it be access somehow? And if so, how?

EDIT: Found a spell error.

Kali: "Oh, this my be more fun than I thought..." - 'may'

EDIT 2: Finally finished all main storylines! What a fear! And it only took me... almost 26 hours of full gaming time. :p

Well, I probably spent too much time leveling up different lewd aspects.

Gotta ask a question though; I can't seem to get Autumn to the level of cumdump, no matter how many times I get MC to cum on her. Does she have a much higher number to get that, or is she not supposed to be able to be that yet?
 
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TheDevian

Svengali Productions
Game Developer
Mar 8, 2018
14,895
35,135
Gotta ask a question though; I can't seem to get Autumn to the level of cumdump, no matter how many times I get MC to cum on her. Does she have a much higher number to get that, or is she not supposed to be able to be that yet?
Cum Dump is cumming inside.
 

TheDevian

Svengali Productions
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Mar 8, 2018
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Code:
[ispoiler]inline spoiler[/ispoiler]
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inline spoiler
You can also highlight the text, and click 'Inline Spoiler' under the ...v menu.
Oh, really? Sheesh, I thought it was cumming ON.

Thanks!
Yeah, dump is inside, and slut is out. Just remember that you put things inside of a dumpster, and sluts like to play with it. ;)
 

itfod

Active Member
Apr 16, 2021
512
339
Yeah, dump is inside, and slut is out. Just remember that you put things inside of a dumpster, and sluts like to play with it. ;)
Lol, thanks for that!

Runey, gotta say, excellent piece of work here. An actual novel, with a compelling storyline, and really good sex scenes.

I normally prefer my sex scenes with sound effects, but I find that the lack of them in this game does not bother me so much. :)

Hope to see more content for Moon, Kate, Juliet and Lucy. Also, I am SUCH a fan of Kali. And I am kind loving Autumn's content, but kind of disliking it too, you know? That's only because I had a fairly reserved upbringing myself, and see so many similarities to her and the women I loved growing up. Obviously, I don't follow anymore, but it still makes me uncomfortable to see a devout person fall into sexual depravity... as much as it also is a forbidden fruit. :p

The weird things that you notice in the games and novels you come across... :ROFLMAO:

Feel so bad for Marie; saw it coming, for both her and Hana. There was a single line of dialogue that you put in that confirmed it for me, when I was selling a set of her pin-ups, mentioning scars on her ears. When you add that to the stories of how half elves have no rights, and how many of them were put up for adoption, and Hana's fear of going to see other doctors, boom. Confirmation.

I do hope that we find Maria's parents to be loving people, and that Ashley's Ms. Ren is somebody the MC can save too. But, we'll see what you have planned for us. :)


Anyway, thanks for the amazing work! cannot wait for the next chapter! Thanks for actually writing a impressive, cohesive storyline into my smut! :ROFLMAO:

PS: Oh! Lastly, IS the missing set of pictures for Autumn upcoming, or is there a special trigger I haven't found yet? Please let me know!
 
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MrRooster

Member
Game Developer
Jul 31, 2020
298
853
Lovely game. It's been very nice reading through all the character development for Cali, Maria, and Felicity.
It's so easy to be reductive about characters, but I find them more compelling than other characters in the genre. They don't feel boxed in.

A lot of the side characters are so fun too. Moon and Nia have some of the most interesting dynamics.
 
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TheDevian

Svengali Productions
Game Developer
Mar 8, 2018
14,895
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Any chance of someone updating the compress version?
The main version is the compressed version, if you are asking about the crunched one, hard to say... Someone might have posted one, you can try searching for it here... I don't pay much attention to it personally, so I can't say, I would probably download the full 80+gig version if it was an option. :p
 

Deleted member 929426

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Oct 5, 2018
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The main version is the compressed version, if you are asking about the crunched one, hard to say... Someone might have posted one, you can try searching for it here... I don't pay much attention to it personally, so I can't say, I would probably download the full 80+gig version if it was an option. :p
I wonder how many people are asking Todd Howard for a compressed version of Skyrim when the Anniversary version is released.:ROFLMAO:
 

TheDevian

Svengali Productions
Game Developer
Mar 8, 2018
14,895
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I wonder how many people are asking Todd Howard for a compressed version of Skyrim when the Anniversary version is released.:ROFLMAO:
Well, they did get an Android version or something... lol Ripe full of microtransactions.

But like with Harem Hotel here, I want the HD versions. XD

---

On the idea of gifts, how about a fancy anal plug for Lin, then we could make her wear it on occasion.
 
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trollop22

New Member
Apr 3, 2018
9
24
Keep getting "archive is corrupt" when extracting the game. Have downloaded it multiple times and every single time it says the same thing. Game is playable, but a lot of the scenes just aren't there. Any way to help fix this?
 

TheDevian

Svengali Productions
Game Developer
Mar 8, 2018
14,895
35,135
Keep getting "archive is corrupt" when extracting the game. Have downloaded it multiple times and every single time it says the same thing. Game is playable, but a lot of the scenes just aren't there. Any way to help fix this?
I am guessing you need to update your extractor. I would suggest 7zip or the newest winrar.
 

Zappyboi

Member
Oct 1, 2018
140
156
It's strange that I can't see any shine moon tonight although the sky is very clear, but it fine because I've got the brightest Moon next to me :4Head:
 

c3p0

Conversation Conqueror
Respected User
Nov 20, 2017
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Keep getting "archive is corrupt" when extracting the game. Have downloaded it multiple times and every single time it says the same thing. Game is playable, but a lot of the scenes just aren't there. Any way to help fix this?
Used the same mirror or different ones? If it is the first, then try another one and report the onje you've tried.
 
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Rex Blue

Newbie
Oct 26, 2018
22
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Rex Blue
Thanks for the review. For clarification on how I see the story and game, there was a shift around v0.4 IIRC, maybe sooner, where I realized I really liked storywriting, so I decided to begin expanding the world and characters. The characters and how they were written was and still is for the most part one of the most common compliments I receive, so I leaned into that more. I also think sex has very small limits and isn't very fun to develop all the time. Of course this is a NSFW game and I will always continue to support that.
I also want to add that this is my first project and I was definitely aimless at the beginning. But your review mentions your issues lies in the last patch or two, when things have been escalating. There is also a shift in the overall plot that is currently going on that has been planned for quite some time.

Here are my vague plans for the current scope of the story:
(The current scope excludes the beginning and later/end parts of the story)
As these characters have mostly resolved their personal issues and begin forming a communal bond, they look outward at the system that bred their pain. They look to understand it and change the world for the better.

My plans before this scope have been to connect the player to these characters, to form an emotional connection so their struggles feel real and you want to see them overcome these issues and live a happy ever after. I feel like forming the emotional connection makes the justice a lot sweeter.

As for the very beginning, it's unfortunate to hear that you think they were wacky caricatures, that was never my intention but I did base them off common personality types I thought would fit well with their story. It was my goal to make these characters feel... like they're not fully explained. I'm struggling to come up with the right terms, but Ashley for example, she "wore a mask" to feel accepted. But now in the story, most of them completely trust you and are willing to tell you anything about themselves.

I have no plans to stop the ongoing story to return to the very beginning of the story. Small problems with quick available solutions have been solved by this point in the story and it hasn't been my vision for this game in quite some time. Slice of life will still remain a big theme in the story, but they were never simple lives.

For extra information, I also have an internal guide I try to stick to when developing main character stories. I generally try to shoot for 3 story events for every 1 lewd scene
Friendship 1 - 10: Beginning, getting to know them and an inkling of something more.
Friendship 3 - 15: Introducing lewd stuff, unlocking basic lewd content
Friendship 10 - 15: Introducing their problems, how the world sees them, the beginning of an emotional connection
Friendship 10 - 20: Their personal issues are shown more, how they deal with them, possible hints to greater things
Friendship 13 - 20: As MC/the player understands the character more, sexual content rises, penetration occurs if it hasn't already (Unless there's a story reason for otherwise)
Friendship 15 - 25: MC tries helping and the healing process begins. The character feels like they have a connection to MC in some way, and this is reinforced by issues being fixed. Also, other characters begin showing up a bit more to offer their unique way of helping.
Friendship 15 - 30: Sexual content is expanded, training begins. This is usually paired with...
Friendship 20 - 30: Their world expands, outside influences begin showing their faces. You see how the world effects them, and in a sense, created them. The problems they have left are no longer able to be fixed by 1 person. Help now usually comes in the form of multiple characters, and connections between characters are expanded.
Friendship 25 - 35: Stakes are risen, characters have to react to the world and are placed in situations where they need to grow, usually with the help of their new friends. Connections also grow quite a bit here.
Friendship 30 - 40: (This is where most characters are now) Stakes begin to fall, or do fall, but not to the bottom. After growing themselves and their connection to the people in the hotel, they're usually given a new outfit. ( I call them Tier 2 outfits). They've grown so much that a new look to represent them is created. This is usually the time skip arc in anime, but the effect is the same, the characters are stronger, more developed and refined. Their main issues are no longer mostly internal, they've become mostly external. They decide to look outward at the system that bred their pain for reasons, answers, resolution, justice. (F&E just received their new outfits, but aren't done developing their inner character, Juliet was a step up though.)
Friendship 30 - 50: Romantic sexual content, or kink exploration.
Friendship 35 - 45: Stakes rise a bit. The characters are able to change or influence the world in small ways. You see the problems first hand, you see how things are connected in the chaos, the world begins to make a bit more sense and as a result, the characters make more sense. And they will find or begin to find their "purpose" in the world.
Friendship 40 - 50: Since this goes into spoiler territory, and hasn't even been written down, I will be very vague. The main characters will work within their purpose to change and influence the world (One provence in Syl'anar, really), finding their groove against the grain. Building or using their unique skills to fix/help their unique problems within the world (Lin has slavery, Ashley has poverty for example). By this point, these characters have become quite independent, especially where they started off. But MC remains as a supportive role, aiding these characters in their path forward.
Friendship 45 - 55: Stakes should be risen a lot by this point, things will start happening. Since the characters began focusing on their slice of the world independently before now, this is probably when their friends will come to aid them, and they will begin working as a team again, but with a more united goal.

This list misses a lot of nuance and details, so please don't think too much about what I haven't included here. The list above are basically arcs within the main story. Within those arcs will be series of events with more variety, ups and downs, vacations, romance, that sort of thing. But what is written above is probably 50% - 60% of the entire roadmap, just a guess. This roadmap is also fluid depending on the character, some are slower, some start arcs before others.

My growing pains were mostly in the beginning, now I'm very happy with how things are going. I get to flex my artistic muscles in so many different ways, and I'm excited to learn more about story writing structure, cinematography, emotion, and everything else. I'm currently very limited with the visual aspects of the story, but I hope to change that for my next games. But nowadays when I watch a movie, my mind is focused on the cinematography and what the writer is trying to say rather than the story presented haha.

Anyway, I hope I didn't scare anyone off with this wall of text, I'm curious to know what you think Rex, and what everyone else thinks of my plan.
Well damn, didn't expect a wall of text reply. Heck, didn't expect a reply to my rambling at all.

In hindsight, I think only Ashley could really be viewed as a caricature seeing as she started as the creepy yandere with a knife. She's come a very long way from there and the fact that she was bullied, whether by parents or peers, her whole life makes her early misanthropic behavior if not reasonable, then at least somewhat justifiable.

I think I stand by wacky though. Lin was a maid for I believe literally centuries who didn't know how to cook a pizza. Kali was a rich girl with an absurd lack of understanding as to how the world works. The Android (Does she have a canon name? I named her Anna.) went through all kinds of hi-jinks through her early scenes where she was making foolish mistakes in regards to how everything worked. The overall tone of the game was silly and lighthearted, more comedy than drama.

That said, I can definitely see an increased dedication to story as the game went on. While your earlier characters started rather shallow and empty, needing several scenes for the player to get to know much of anything about them, Maria, Emma and Felicity, and Autumn all started with much more distinct personalities, backstories, and character growth. Make no mistake, I don't have any complaints about your characters or their development over the course of the game. Porn or no porn, I've come to like these girls. They're more than just pictures.

Honestly, I've got to sing Autumn's praises a good bit. More so than any other girl, I've felt that her story has made the most sense through the lens of her character. Her actions and reactions to the events around her have just seemed natural. It's been a lot of fun to watch how getting out from under the thumb of her controlling family has made her go more than a little wild. Her exhibition scenes have been a blast (though admittedly, I have a kink there...).

The areas I'm concerned about are the world and the overall tone of the game.

Your world isn't shallow. You've done a lot to develop a history, power structure, and a couple competing factions. However, all that depth and the overall seriousness of it leaves some aggressively glaring plot holes. That was fine when the game was mostly a comedy/porn game, but if you're going for a more serious tone, that's no longer the case. The main questions that stumped me when I was playing were:

1. Why are elf slaves necessary in a world with an android work force? Since Kali's college class is programming construction droids, they don't seem ludicrously rare or new. As such, how have slaves not been replaced by bots already? The best explanation I could come up with is momentum, but shouldn't the easy availability of manual labor have caused either slaves or androids to become dominant or isolated to certain sectors of the economy? Maybe that's happened off screen but...

2. Are there people who desire abolition? Outside of Nia of course. We've seen some pretty horrific racism in a lot of different scenes throughout the game, but I think Vanessa, the hipster/rebel, is the only non-elf abolitionist we've ever met. There's an implication there that abolition is not something desired by the majority of society simply because of who Vanessa is. I guess this isn't a plot hole, but damn if it doesn't make for a dark setting. Racial slavery and no groups who find that morally reprehensible?

3. Is the high elf queen an idiot? The high elf queen's "plan" probably irritated me more than anything else in the game. She apparently has invisible spies capable of infiltrating nearly anything and she can't get blueprints for a gun on her own? Is no fairy capable of watching a person use the internet and learning? Worse yet, wouldn't she know how pointless a gun would be at this point in history? Even if the fairies couldn't use the internet, shouldn't they have some idea what a jet is? What exactly are the fairies telling the elf queen? That entire sequence felt like the idiot ball was being passed around.

I guess what I'm saying overall is that just because you've got a world with a history, doesn't mean that history makes sense.

As for tone, that should be pretty straight forward. Regardless of the characters or story, the early parts of the game were bright and happy. The problems were small, the solutions were simple and everything stayed happy throughout the scenes. Over time, the problems grew more complex and less concrete. I was completely okay with that as well. I liked Maria's soul searching over whether camming was really healthy for her and what she wanted from her life. Kali had similar issues with a similar change in direction. I felt like the player character acted as something of a rock for the girls through those turbulent times; a constant as they changed their world around it.

But some of the current scenes? They're dark. Not funny haha 40k grim dark, but dark dark. Android and Maria are experiencing the kind of things people prefer to pretend don't exist: existential horror of a type humans don't get to experience and dead serious, no joke, slavery. How different is that from where the game started? I guess I'd liken it to walking into a kids movie only to have it interrupted by a chainsaw massacre halfway through. It doesn't matter whether the kid's movie or the horror movie were actually good, it's the sudden tone switch that would throw people off.

It's very possible that I'm the exception to the rule on this one. Doki Doki Literature Club was wildly popular and I'm pretty sure this very thing I'm complaining about is a large part of that reason. In fact, I feel like there's a lot of recent anime that do the same thing, dropping a horrific murder into the stereotypical shonen opening. Maybe people out there like a sudden tone switch in their stories to keep things surprising and dramatic. Then again, don't all those examples follow the tone shift? While the shift in Doki Doki is surprising, it never goes back to VN after the horror is revealed. The shonens stop shonening after the sudden horrific murder, don't they? Feel free to ignore me on this one if you feel I'm off-base.

Honestly, I think Android is over-reacting a decent bit, though I can sympathize with where she's coming from. Imagine a child abducted by aliens. She grows up with them, but knows they're different. As she gets older, she realizes just how much so, and worse yet how inferior they are to her. I can sympathize with the desire to know an equal in that setting, to meet someone just like you. However, shouldn't it be a important how hard the people around her are trying to understand and care for her? I feel like even in that scenario, that should make a dramatic difference. To me, Android's breakdown feels a decent amount like teenage angst to me, though that doesn't quite cover all of it. Given her age, teenage angst isn't even entirely unreasonable.

I think the direction I'd want to see her story go is her attempting to create immortality for those close to her. Rather than killing herself to make others like her, why not try to make those close to her like her instead? I also think that having split herself to make others isn't likely to be as rewarding as she imagines it. Imagine meeting yourself after all. There'd be no surprise; you could call all of the other you's shots. Maybe Android is capable of creating a little more differentiation though, so I'm off base.

As for Maria... god her story is dark. I'm trying to imagine what the time she spent after she was abducted and forced through training was like and it seems quite possibly the most horrific thing imaginable. What if Ellen hadn't come through and managed to purchase her? She'd have been bought by who the hell knows who based off of what, solely a picture of her, maybe a list of skills? She'd have spent every moment of her captivity wondering if she was going to be sold as an honest to god sex slave.

This shit happens in real life and it's the darkest thing I can imagine. I don't want to imagine it. I don't want to imagine that humans are so depraved that they would want something like that. Worse yet, you've created a world in which not only is this something that happens, it's been NORMALIZED. There's an honest to god website in your world, not on the dark web or something, but a GOVERNMENT SANCTIONED WEBSITE in which girls are sold as sex slaves. You have created Rapebook. What the fuck man.

I think typing this out really helped me get to the crux of my issue with the story currently. It's not that the story got dark; it's the fridge horror that it was this dark all along. You've pointed out that the world this story is taking place in is not only not our world, but just possibly one of the most fucked up worlds imaginable. The world in which I was amassing a harem of cute girls and getting to know and love them, had something like Rapebook sitting in the background. That was going on; all the characters knew about it; all of the characters didn't think twice about it.

Hell, it was even quietly there from moment one, but I never thought about it because it was "just elves" or out of sight, out of mind. It was only when it was rubbed in my face that I even considered the ramifications of everything. Even as I'm absolutely horrified by all this, I can't help but be impressed by how you presented it. I can only imagine that the MC and all the rest of the girls got the exact same rude awakening that we did... though they have less of an excuse for not realizing it. After all, they can visit Rapebook anytime they want.

Anyway, keep in mind that it doesn't really matter in the slightest what I think of things. My critiques are meant to be constructive and if I've come off as too harsh, I apologize. The important thing in all of this is that you're finding your work to be fun and/or fulfilling. I can definitely sympathize with watching a movie and considering how they decided to present the story. After all, the same story can be told a million different ways without changing the actual subject matter. I'm glad you have a plan and I truly do like the way you've developed your characters. It's just your world man... it's so fucking dark. Maria's story has skewed how I'll ever be able to look at the rest of the game. It all seems dirty and corrupted. I'm not sure if that was your plan, but damn if it didn't succeed.
 
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