VN Ren'Py Heart Problems [v0.10] [Xenorav]

[Person_With_Pencil]

With all the above advantages of the game, the MC could think with his head more often, so as not to become a sexual toy for his sisters (and other neighbors) and not look unscrupulous. Of course, if the Dev did not plan several endings, sending the young blackmailer under the covers in front of Amelia.
By the way, Amelia is so good that she overshadows any shortcomings in the game. And I’m glad that this SuperMilf is the main target of the MC, who, to my no less joy, does not use any rings of lust, or amulets of sexual attractiveness, or other paranormal jewelry. It is gratifying that he did not grow a third “horse leg” from a snake or some insect bite - everything looks quite natural. )
So, MC.., cherish Amelia - she is the best!

Try my re-write of Chapter 1 that I posted previously in this thread, a mere handful of pages prior to this one!

While it isn't a Cure-All (and its just Chapter 1 so far) if I get enough positive feedback i'll continue with the next chapters and try to make the dialogue as engaging as I can while fleshing out the interactions and characters a little more than the original script.

 

[kaom]

The last two chapters don't even have any choices. If you still need a WT for that, then I don't know what to tell you, dude.

didn't know that lol just started this for the first time

 

[dosrando]

Oooh.. Interesting idea, I'll have a look shortly and see if it's possible to re-structure a few things and make the Aunt/Cousins and Mom/Sisters angle work or not, if I do it now while I've only finished Chapter 1 it would make it easier to carry it on going further.

Did you enjoy the re-write so far? I tried to keep the dynamic similar between characters but just fleshing them out a bit with humour and such.

Thanks for responding!

I for one would be super grateful if you did! And I know plenty of others would feel the same way - there's certainly a sizeable chunk of the audience wanting Amelie to be the MC's Mom, etc.

Loving your work thus far. You've succeeded in giving the characters more life, which is brilliant because the art is incredible and deserves solid writing <3

 

[jI11jaCksjAkk]

The last two chapters don't even have any choices. If you still need a WT for that, then I don't know what to tell you, dude.

Not sure why some people are so desperate to puff themselves up that they go out of their way to be rude. Obviously if you have already played the last 2 chapters you would know that and wouldn't be asking about a WT. But NEWSFLASH: anyone who is new to the game would not. If a game has a WT the assumption any new player would make was that the game has choices - otherwise why would someone have bothered to make a WT?. And if that is the case, why would anyone want to start a new game with a very outdated WT?

didn't know that lol just started this for the first time

Your question made sense to anyone who took 2 seconds to think about it before rushing to post a condescending reply.
This is just a game without many choices.

 

[Just Jericho]

*silly soapbox speech*

Don't be so sensitive.

The fact is the choices in the game matter little toward the beginning of the game and they don't matter at all later on in the game. None of the choices made from chapter 1~6 have any significance once you reach chapter 7. A WT mod is literally not needed. But if you have anything else that you want to get pointlessly offended about then please be my guest.

 

[KINGKUMAR]

Next update 100% sure mc fuck amile
Hope when game ending mc married to amile

 

[Xythurr]

I feel like the only Kylee fan here lmao.

 

[Deleted member 5739294]

I feel like the only Kylee fan here lmao.

Kylee is just too perfect, like a doll.
Steph and Amelie are more humanized.
But ngl, i like her too.

 

[LordOfLightning]

I feel like the only Kylee fan here lmao.

Kylie is the Vanilla option, good but nothing special imo.

 

[Maviarab]

I feel like the only Kylee fan here lmao.

I'll hang with you.

 

[Xythurr]

I didn't know a guy banging his cousin was now the vanilla option lol. Truly we are some depraved bastards on this site if that's the case lolol!
He's not even blood-related to his aunt.

 

[Just Jericho]

I feel like the only Kylee fan here lmao.

You're not the only one bro. Kylee is right up there with Amelie IMO. It's the psychotic shrimp that I can do without.

 

[Zero141214]

I feel like the only Kylee fan here lmao.

Definitely a favorite character in this thread too. Steph, however... Am I her only fan? I like her personality in the game (her playful and evilish nature is funny), and she's also the only character with a believable body, unlike the other two. Kylee is still OK, but Amelie's too huge tits and ass make me dislike her.

 

[girlfairdev]

Definitely a favorite character in this thread too. Steph, however... Am I her only fan? I like her personality in the game (her playful and evilish nature is funny), and she's also the only character with a believable body, unlike the other two.

I'm a Steph fan as well, although Kylie is my favorite character in the game. Amelie I didn't care that much for until this last update which put her in an all new surprisingly hot light for me. But I, like you, will be very interested in how MC's relationship with Steph will "flesh" out.

 

[Deleted member 5739294]

banging his cousin was now the vanilla option

That's pretty a pretty common thing outside America.

 

[Zero141214]

That's pretty a pretty common thing outside America.

Err..... No? At least not in Europe XD

 

[Acsuka]

But I, like you, will be very interested in how MC's relationship with Steph will "flesh" out.

Steph is a ticking bomb and it has no off button...When it explodes it wipes everyone out and it's game over...

 

[Person_With_Pencil]

I'm going to re-post my re-write of Chapter 1 here to try get more eyes on it (this threads so popular things get pushed down the pile constantly), not really sure if there is a better way to garner attention for my little project and get the much needed feedback on it but I guess for now I'll stick with this method.

The re-write focuses on fleshing out the dialogue more, adding in some humour and just generally cleaning up the dicey English overall.

I have also attempted to make re-naming Amelie "mom" more viable as an option so that it fits with the dialogue and narrative overall, for those who would prefer to have her referred to as such instead of "Aunt".

I'm also doing my best to make Stephanie's interactions a bit more wholesome and not quite as irritating at times, and although I feel like she'll always be that "annoying little sibling" archetype, I've added in some dialogue interactions that make her a bit more likeable I hope in some way? (even if its just based on pity/empathy or her general naivete)

Though Stephanie will of course always be a bit of an interference element in the narrative (I can't add in or change the images/renders used in the game unfortunately), I can only attempt to make her seem a bit more likeable in some way.

There is more humour sprinkled in the game throughout, I hope also a bit more meaningful drama elements in places with a little extra gravitas when needed.

Give it a try and let me know what you think, if enough people are interested to see it go further, I will modify the rest of the Chapters to fit in line with my changes to Chapter 1 and hopefully overall produce a much more well-rounded story with more engaging characters!

I've re-attached the game folder in a .zip format with the script.rpy in it for you guys to try out. Enjoy!

 

[Person_With_Pencil]

I for one would be super grateful if you did! And I know plenty of others would feel the same way - there's certainly a sizeable chunk of the audience wanting Amelie to be the MC's Mom, etc.

Loving your work thus far. You've succeeded in giving the characters more life, which is brilliant because the art is incredible and deserves solid writing <3

I have now re-modified Chapter 1 to make Amelie more viable as "Mom" and the girls as "sisters" if you so wish!

 

[mahin007]

any idea when final version might come?

Xeno said he would start working on ch9 from monday and its sunday today. but still no update ...