Notes on the new version.
(people were talking about a virus, so I just replaced the Mapdata and Basicdata folders instead of a full unpack.)
Standardization issues
- "You hit me! Ouch! 1\FONTS[0] damage!" <- Formatting issue?
- [Luck 1 rise] [Strength 1 Increase] My pussy is growing 1! <- Standardization issues
- falilure X dmg / x dmg when failure <- Standardization issue while parkouring. Could use an entirely new line
- People betray me... but knives dont. Knives are good. / Bulk purchase ? 20 is 350,000 yen... <- I will assume this is supposed to be:
People betray me... but knives dont. Knives are good. / Bulk purchase 20 for 350,000 yen ... OR
People betray me... but knives dont. Knives are good. / Bulk purchase 20 for 350,000 yen ...
The game seems to use green when selling things to you, even if it uses it improperly now and then. Not gonna make a doc on the salesgirl yet.
Capitalization Matters
As far as I have understood, if a choice is capitalized it might mean Okina is actually speaking. Which means some choices are probably, not properly capitalized.
My biggest clue is the old man with dogs, (Dont do it you idiot / Ill do it), how you can react to the stock broker (dismisisng her by calling her Noisy!) and how you dismiss the weapon salesgirl (I dont need it!). but then that means some choices are certainly not done properly.
- pass trough / Ill go around <- for the hole in the wall. Better leave just as "go around". Not sure what else pass trough could be, could stay as is.
- ignore / A dangerous shortcut / A safe detour <- Maybe remove the A, or use "take dangerous shortcut"
- ignore / purchase / Decomposition / destruction <- Decomposition and destruction need a bit workshopping I think, for new words. Even if they stay the same, Decomposition shoulsnt stay capitalized.
- climb / Through <- I think your retranslation messed with this. Any chance it can go back to skip or pass?
- intrusion / Trough <- from the parkour start options. Trough shoulsnt be capitalized. Maybe shouldnt even be Trough, could be pass, leave, ignore, pass, kinda depends.
- Wall Kick / Trough <- Maybe neither should be capitalized.
Only maybe. Its a kickass CG sequence.
- run away / Stroke / feeding / copulation <- aheh.
Suggestions getting into the territory of rewriting the game
- Advertising revenue 1 yen has been transferred! <- Works, but could use adjustments.
- Found a wallet! There was... <- Game likes to use yellow to mean yen. All over the place on this one.
- I walk while i was reading the book..... [Charm 1 rise!] <- Wait, Storytelling is Charm, not Negotiate?!
- Maybe your arms or shoulders are pumping! Arm-Strength 1 growth! <- Could use some workshopping
- eat / with a pass <- Could be just eat / pass. Also, I see the prices are reporting properly!
- Oh... I'm throwing up. <- Given she says this whether she is throwing up or not, dunno what this actually is supposed to mean. Wish I could throw the original japanese into a dictionary.
- Use the cross key to select an action, and press the cancel key (probably X) to escape. <- Use the arrow keys to select an action or press the cancel key (probably X) to escape.
The Fence Lady:
One brand item 0xF000 for / Cards 14 items for... / Electronic equipment for... / jewelry 6 points for... <- Yeah unsure of whats going on here. The entire text of selling stolen items might need change, sure would need some workshopping. It seems to be completely different depending on what you're selling.
"I have no choice, Ill buy it for double the X" implies the text in blue is the buyer speaking the entire time.
"Buy it cheap and knock it down / as proof of my sincerity" also says the same, even if the former is written a little awkward.
The Stock Market Lady:
Her event is three problems in one: Capitalization, Standardization, and long texts running ontop of things.
stock investment / Real estate investment / government bond purchase <- Why is only Real estate capitalized? Any chance these sentences can be shorter?
Possible investment amount / Investable amount / Purchase amount <- Maybe "purchase amount" can stay, as apparently a govt bond isnt the same as a stock or rent. Id only keep these sentences different if they are all different in Japanese, otherwise it looks like the MTL went nuts. Maybe change to "invest X yen"
The Shrine Maiden
This looks like the MTL tried to translate puns.
- Its not just the feet of those who believe that are "scavenged". <- Eh?
- My dear, good luck to you "semen". <- What? Maybe its seiman? Idunno much about shinto.
- 10 donate 10,000 / 1000 Donate 10,000 1000xF00 Donate 180,000 <- Yeah the choices look like they completely broke.
- "God saves everyone, but those without money are an exception..." <- No comments. I like. Could be used as the base for her intended actual speech pattern.
The Bollard
I dont necessarily recommend changing any / all text in the event, but I am going to document all its text here for the sake of discussion.
- It's an incredibly thick car stop. Should I challenge you... ? <- I like she doesnt call it a bollard, but car stop might be too awkward. Maybe some other word can be found.
- stop it / Squat <- Capitalization. Also, squat is smushed for some reason. Dunno if you can do anything about that. I like stop it because it implies shes stopping herself from thinking about it.
If you wanna be funny, could be a dont you dare!
- High / MIDD / LOW / Delivery / Drinking / Shallow / Deepen / Orgasm (wasnt it Cervical Orgasm? Could be Climax) / Damage / Squat / Stop <- MIDD should be MID. Shallow and Deepen are almost unreadable. Delivery is the Stream option, unsure if should be changed as now it alliterated with Drinking. Maybe if that can be kept.
- The number of channel subscribers has increased by 6! <- Perfectly fine if a little awkward.
- My whole body has turned into a pussy for the car stopper!
- I received a social chip worth 891! <- Dont know what this is supposed to mean, nor what it should be translated to. Cant be a superchat, shes not on Hololive. Twitch bits maybe?
These lines are the climaxes with the bollard. It seems the amount of stat gain changes the entire line, meaning we can toy with new lines. I aint typing the entire line because I dont wanna to spoil forum onlookers. Check the line in the data files.
- I orgasmed...! My pussy is growing1! <- Needs work. Also standardization.
- My entire body ...! My pussy has grown2! <- Same.
- Its going straight trough ...! My pussy has grown 3! <- This one popped at 240% chance
- My whole body ... for the car stopper! My pussy has grown4! <- Same. Also, car stopper has slightly better energy than car stop in the beginning. Keep this one if a better cant be found.
- After that, I reached ... Pussy 5 Growth! <- One of the better translated lines, but... standardization...
- It seems to only go up to 5. I recommend 1000+ HP to try this.
Progress lines. If I dont mention anything, either I missed it or I thought the line was fine. MTLs can hit once in a blue moon.
- Passerby stop and look at me... <- maybe make it A Passerby to match the one below.
- A passerby is taking a picture of me with his smartphone...
- The number of onlooker has increased... <- lacking plural
- Damn... I get so excited when I see you watching... !
- Do you enjoy watching your [...] you perverts! <- Awkwardly written
- The camera lens and gaze are violating me! <- Awkwardly written. I like the "are violating me!" bit though, its very schlock hentai writing.
- The onlookers are closing the distance and are starting to touch my body. <- could be fine, still noting on it
- The gallery has exceeded 10 people... Everyone is a pervert! <- The what now? Maybe the MTL mistranslated crowd?
- Men with cameras completely surrounded me. <- Might be right, feels off.
- The number of people has increased again, its too many to count... ! <- Seems to be the last possible line of the series.
And this is it for now! Wont be seeing me for a few days!
