- Jul 9, 2021
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- Aug 25, 2022
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She's so cute omg
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Last edited:
- May 27, 2020
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New fan art series of Charlotte and MC on a beach.
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- Jun 11, 2017
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Pinup #141 - Charlotte in Victorian Bedroom [8k]
- Apr 30, 2020
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He????He's so cute omgYou don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.
- Nov 14, 2017
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- Sep 12, 2018
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omg, is that finally happening
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- Nov 14, 2017
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don't think so.omg, is that finally happening
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- Jun 14, 2020
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- Dec 22, 2020
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Hello, my dear friends! All my respect, Mr. DB! I’m sorry for the malicious silence, but I came back with a big bag of thoughts, because DB wrote that he would edit and rewrite some things. Alert! There're tons of text, even for me...
Some questions about plot
Suggestions
Simplifications of the scenes
What lines are better to delete completely
To improve realism
To improve the cinematography
Modeling, photoshoot and further relationship with Charlie
I didn't mean to offend you in any way. If I did - I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I hope these notes will help you, DB.
You did a real good job, well done!
Some questions about plot
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Simplifications of the scenes
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I didn't mean to offend you in any way. If I did - I'm sorry
, I didn't mean it like that. I hope these notes will help you, DB.You did a real good job, well done!
Cheers,
Pristis.Microdon
- Aug 25, 2022
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- Jun 11, 2021
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100% yes. No harem, no fucking of random broads. Just sweet old monogamy
- Nov 14, 2017
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well besides kaylah who isn't li (not sure when her sexscene is supposed to happen), maybe 3some with suzie and her friend.100% yes. No harem, no fucking of random broads. Just sweet old monogamy
To Pristis.Microdon,
Your critic is insightful and sensitive. This kind of constructed critic will level the game for amazing to legendary. I admire your meticulous work. I would add a different level of reactions by Charlotte when it comes to PTSD reactions. Hearing the name (Jason) is an external cue that elicit a startle response. However, see him at the party should elicit a very strong reaction (Elevated startle response, heightened sense of threat). In addition, I would have add a few dissociative behaviors along the story to show Charlotte's PTSD reactions.
Finally, I think that the MC had to give the phone directly to Suzi. However, I would have change the scene that he will not have to enter the women changing room. This will be more realistic.
Again, I bow my head in great appreciation to your wonderful critic.
@Pristis.Microdon and @DB, I wish my graduate students were nearly as competent as you both are.
Sorry for reiterate myself, kudos to you!
J.
Your critic is insightful and sensitive. This kind of constructed critic will level the game for amazing to legendary. I admire your meticulous work. I would add a different level of reactions by Charlotte when it comes to PTSD reactions. Hearing the name (Jason) is an external cue that elicit a startle response. However, see him at the party should elicit a very strong reaction (Elevated startle response, heightened sense of threat). In addition, I would have add a few dissociative behaviors along the story to show Charlotte's PTSD reactions.
Finally, I think that the MC had to give the phone directly to Suzi. However, I would have change the scene that he will not have to enter the women changing room. This will be more realistic.
Again, I bow my head in great appreciation to your wonderful critic.
@Pristis.Microdon and @DB, I wish my graduate students were nearly as competent as you both are.
Sorry for reiterate myself, kudos to you!
J.
- May 27, 2020
- 549
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Charlotte is disgusted.
Because it wouldn't make sense at all in the story. This is a story with adult elements, not a fap fest loosely woven together with some words to call it a story.
- Mar 17, 2021
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MC did something she didn't like and she made another few steps back in their relationship.
- Mar 17, 2021
- 2,275
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Yes, agree. But it's curious that you find sad that Zak didn't fuck everything that moves but not the fact that a knife was in his guts... Yes, that's not sad at all...
- Jun 14, 2020
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A harem would destroy the story. It wouldn't make sense here. There are good harem AVN's. Just play them and accept not every AVN is about special fetishes.
- Apr 25, 2021
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