VN Ren'Py Homelander [Ch.4 P2] [JabbonkGames]

[DaBigGreek]

Second post ever. This guy has talent. The story is rich, the characters are well developed, and the naughty is well done. I liked this guys work so much I became a patron a little over a month ago with his release of .2.

You all should really check out this guys first little gem. Looking forward to what he has in store for us every subsequent release or other future projects.

 

[Jaeson097]

And need the tag pregnancy

 

[trex999999]

Great update! Honestly, until reading some of the comments here, I didn't really have notice the kaela issue even though I do generally dislike having LIs be sluts/talk about sexual past in the story.

To me she came off as a "side piece" that we are sort of pursuing (for our own selfish desires too, lol) because our actual LI wants us to. I think it wouldn't be a problem if you retconned/toned it down a little too, as long as it doesn't mess too much with your vision of the story. As for kaela's mom or other mothers for example - well, I think we all know about the birds and the bees, all of those daughters had to come from somewhere (unless there's a spell for that ). The mention of an ex-husband or whatever isn't the worst thing so long as they are not together in the course of the story, and personally I kind of like the reverse-ntr (or however you say it) aspect of it.

Anyway, hope the game keeps growing in popularity like it deserves!

 

[Pizzapockets]

Speaking only for myself, I'm perfectly happy that the girl has healthy sexual appetites. I'm under no illusions that any of my real life partners are chaste virgins (with the exception of my high school girlfriend, many many years ago). I won't speculate on other players, but thinking out loud most people I know who are sexually active in real life understand that virginity isn't a common or even desirable trait in a girl. Sure, you don't want a cum ridden slut (I don't think Kaela is one btw) but it is ok for your partner to have some experience. And frankly, they're usually a LOT more fun in bed if they know what they like and what they want and what they're good at.

Back to the game, I do have a very real criticism that; the MC is a huge Mary Sue at this point. Not just because everyone and their literal mom is dying to fuck him (it is a harem game after all), but they also think the sun shines out of his ass. And why not, he is not only massively talented at everything. He's also flawless in his character. Polite, brave, kind, patient, diligent, charming (although he says he's bad at flirting, but not so bad it actually harms his romantic prospects...).

He's pretty boring at this point. He grew up alone in the woods, shouldn't he have some serious social problems? His parents abandoned him. No anger issues? He's been given a shit ton of responsibility by the people he cares about at age 18. No anxiety or negative coping skills. He is naturally talented and powerful. He could be reckless? He's got tons of women going after him at all times. Maybe he would value those relationships less since they came so easily to him?

I'm not saying rewrite or change anything. I think what you have works. I like your story and its definitely hot as hell.

But the problem is I like your story, which means I want it to be as good as possible, and in my mind, a flawless protagonist isn't worthy of what I think you're trying to create. That is to say, a VN that isn't JUST a porno, but a captivating game with adult elements.

Either way, best of luck to you.

Completely disagree the reason this game is awesome is because of how great things go for the Mc. It has you going "fuck yes my guy" all the time I'd hate to ruin that by adding unnecessary flaws and conflict. Characters don't always need to be flawed sometimes being just cool or powerful is enough. The worlds full of flawed people so when I read a fictional story I don't mind an unflawed character as a change it makes you want to root for him more. This game gives me the same feeling as WVM did in the beginning when it was about adding to the harem instead of being about relationship drama and conflict which seems to be what it's about now and I hope this game doesn't shift tones like that one does.

 

[walker188]

You see, It would have been great if she was a one time fuck. At those times I don't really mind her being a LOT more fun in bed since that's her whole purpose. Just appear once, fuck the hell out of MC and leave FOR EVER.

If it's someone who is going to appear often I don't think it's bad if she's not experienced. Plenty of times to teach her things.

What I'm saying is I don't go for any kind of relationship except for casual ones when it comes to sluts.

I don't think I need to explain why I don't like sluts in a non NTR game thread.

How? MC was a virgin until Ariana. For that matter what if she's going to teach YOU things?

And exactly how many fucks are you going to graciously allow her to have before she's a slut?

 

[RR6612]

Ok, I just got to chapter 2 and I have to say.
Much as I like the story so far, what's with all the timeskips?

My uneducated guess, what we are playing now is more like a prologue. Setting up the mc, setting up some romanceable characters, setting up the story etc.Maybe this is an entirely foreign concept for you, but just you know even the bible had a prologue. I think the meat of the story, aka the plot still has to kick in next gear. I could also be completly wrong.

she can be sexually experimental in her past all she wants but do I want to hear it? No.

I don't care who a girl been with in the past but as soon as they start saying "you the biggest I had, and I know because I had alot of men in my life" or saying anything that points she gets around town is a turn off for me.

not needed.

Shit.... I thought it was hot! How are we going to solve this?!

Also Jabbonk, very promising game man! Team Miranda all the way. If you can stick to a consistent update-schedule I end up subscribing! (Have to be careful with my finances with what I support and don't)

 

[boobsrcool]

romance and fantasy setting what more could you want god job dev

 

[CrazyRabbit]

I will add: It's stated by MC that he thinks Cordelia could whoop his ass if she wanted to, and I can assure you that she most definitely could! As long as he didn't cheat and use his magic... But even then, it would be close! lol

Unless MC cheats even more and uses his Biggus Dickus. That'll either subdue her or make her throw the fight to have a go at the "great friend in Rome"

 

[Deleted member 2030943]

Great story so far. Has a certain charm to it. Nice work

 

[CrazyRabbit]

Also, just finished the update ; and it was very good (story wise, sound design and visuals ; big bravo to you)
The plot thickens (and since Selena and Cordelia are in the game, that's saying something) ; everyone gets the limelight except Ari, hope she'll have more screentime on the long term

I just hope we didn't make Selena's disease worse or trigger a new wave of Gauld attacks because of the shockwave... Don't want that on our conscience

I'll be waiting INtently for 0.04, good sir

 

[S1nsational]

I just hope we didn't make Selena's disease worse or trigger a new wave of Gauld attacks because of the shockwave... Don't want that on our conscience

To the first part; I think we're supposed to be freaking out over it, and then we're going to see it'll work out better. I certainly can't see us being forced into permanently fucking up one of the girls. I don't think her fainting illness was caused by what we messed with, not directly at any rate.

To the second part; the comming attack I think was partly inevitable, nothing we could have done to prevernt it we just sped things up and maybe made things a little worse. But, it's not our fault, so nothing to feel bad about. By the looks of it, our powers would have awakened sooner or later regardless of where we were living, meaning no mater where we were or who we were we'd have brought negative attention to wherever we were living. Nothing is our fault, and so no reason to feel bad. Now, if we decide to just fuck off and let the queendom and our girls fend for themselves, that would a hugely asshole thing to do

 

[CrazyRabbit]

To the first part; I think we're supposed to be freaking out over it, and then we're going to see it'll work out better. I certainly can't see us being forced into permanently fucking up one of the girls. I don't think her fainting illness was caused by what we messed with, not directly at any rate.

To the second part; the comming attack I think was partly inevitable, nothing we could have done to prevernt it we just sped things up and maybe made things a little worse. But, it's not our fault, so nothing to feel bad about. By the looks of it, our powers would have awakened sooner or later regardless of where we were living, meaning no mater where we were or who we were we'd have brought negative attention to wherever we were living. Nothing is our fault, and so no reason to feel bad. Now, if we decide to just fuck off and let the queendom and our girls fend for themselves, that would a hugely asshole thing to do

Well I hope so... Selena was just getting better even without healing magic, I'd hate to see her bed-ridden because of what happened until we master a powerful healing spell...


True, true. Since now they are attacking to find and kill us, I think I'll feel bad for all the death and pillaging that's going to take place ; but ain't no way in hell we'll let the girls fight without us.
If we are that powerful, let's find an Archmage and learn how to shoot lightning bolt from our ass

 

[S1nsational]

Well I hope so... Selena was just getting better even without healing magic, I'd hate to see her bed-ridden because of what happened until we master a powerful healing spell...


True, true. Since now they are attacking to find and kill us, I think I'll feel bad for all the death and pillaging that's going to take place ; but ain't no way in hell we'll let the girls fight without us.
If we are that powerful, let's find an Archmage and learn how to shoot lightning bolt from our ass

I don't see her being physically effected, but being emotionally effected. So she'll keep getting stronger and fainting less, but she'll be upset or a bit distant until we talk to her and help her come to terms with her feelings for both us and her dead husband.

I don't think we're inanely powerful, and ever if we were I don't see us ever fully mastering fine control of our magical strength. Like even when healing the merchant and her daughter we still put more energy into the healing than we meant to. I don't see us being great at anything that requires a delicate touch of magic. We will probably learn more cool and powerful spells, but they are way way off if I was to guess.

 

[phupdup]

Some thoughts about enabling "fun" content... Alexander (of Greek/Persian war fame) had a boyfriend. I don't think he denied said bf the joy of reciprocity or at least a "hand", especially if it meant peak "readiness" during battles. Yet a certain npc does oral while getting blueballed? In the words of a certain president who shouldn't run for a second term: "C'mon man!"

If mc "comes across" a non-human during a future chapter, shouldn't this be renamed Zoolander?

Has the MC created a whole new category of passive healing? HealSlut? CardioCuck? TransTuner? KarmaKleaner?

 

[S1nsational]

Some thoughts about enabling "fun" content... Alexander (of Greek/Persian war fame) had a boyfriend. I don't think he denied said bf the joy of reciprocity or at least a "hand", especially if it meant peak "readiness" during battles. Yet a certain npc does oral while getting blueballed? In the words of a certain president who shouldn't run for a second term: "C'mon man!"

If mc "comes across" a non-human during a future chapter, shouldn't this be renamed Zoolander?

Has the MC created a whole new category of passive healing? HealSlut? CardioCuck? TransTuner? KarmaKleaner?

Yea a lot of people from history and myth were bisexual, good few were gay too. So much of history and myth has been straightwashed

I don't see why the name would need to change, the title is our Nationality. We're from Homeland. I assume that it's largely how we'll be referred to once we leave our homeland as part of the story. Because by the sound of it, if you pay attention to the lore, there aren't going to be a huge ammount of other humans in the non human countries. But they'd still have to differentiate us from the Gaul.

We've never healed anyone while fucking them or while any other act was performed in either direction. Though I do like the idea of using healing magic while having fun. Healing magic seems to feel nice, so it would makes things a little extra nice on occasion

 

[NotSoTasty]

Please more with Cordelia!

 

[michael1984]

How often does this get updated ?

I imagine it takes a while but whats a ball park number

 

[patriarchy1]

But will there be traps?

 

[NotAnotherShadow]

How will the relationship with the cook work on the variety path?

Will there be choices regarding what you’re willing to do or will the only choice be if you want to pursue her?

 

[Demonius]

How often does this get updated ?

I imagine it takes a while but whats a ball park number

even though this is a 0.3, this was only the second update, so look at when the op was made and when it was updated and youll get a rough idea