Without breaking the illusion of consistency, uh not really? I am still learning and trying new things all the time so we'll see.
- Thread starter Waterthose
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i actually stopped to laugh a few times; this is a bloody meme factory lol. good vibes, keep it up!
my only critiques: i think there are slightly too many fourth wall breaks, and wish the sex scenes were a bit longer.
also +1 vote for at least one scene with big dick celia energy
my only critiques: i think there are slightly too many fourth wall breaks, and wish the sex scenes were a bit longer.
also +1 vote for at least one scene with big dick celia energy
Thanks for the update !
I'm totally sucking with name...
waifu top 3 would be dragal, guild lass, and mommy.
Favorite chars: bakapyro was a funny addition, dragal-sensei is definitively nice, and overall everyone you have/will have sex with is fun to read about, I guess ? (yes, I put every smut interest one on the 3rd place)
Get a scene with a character: Between beatrice and miss ???? that gave you the flower, I'm not sure which one I would pick...
As for mage or scientist... Why not both? I mean, could they really manage to stop bickering each other and trying to get to "experiment" first up until what's in the MC's pants is down?
Unlike like time, I read the game properly ! (it was also earlier...) Same as last time, unsorted thought of the last patch ; and same as last time everything here is subjective :
TL/DR just in case : The scenes are too short which made them lack emotion, too much content for too little dev time, humor is still spot on, the game still have a lot of potential, thanks you for working on it!
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This is a lot to unpack so going from the bottom up.
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Thanks for taking the time to reply !
These were more feedback than questions, but nonetheless thanks for checking these o>
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Just to go over a little more of your feedback.
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I only just finally played v1 so I am only writing a reply for it, as requested in v1 lol. I enjoyed the light atmosphere of the game, but it was almost to light and joking. The silliness and happy go lucky attitude kind of reminded me of Fairy Tail. My main thoughts for the dev are as follows
I think the X-rated scenes definitely need to be a little longer.
Things like her just going to the guild hall with only a minor, BTW I passed it yesterday and noticed, were kind of jarring and broke the immersion in the story.
The number of forth wall breaks in later version could be reduced a bit.
Spending more time even if only a couple scenes about her thoughts.
Please continue her "training" with her dragon spirt. I loved that she doesn't know what to do with her new found "gift" and is learning how to enjoy it.
I hope you don't fall down the route 80 to 90% of games here do where the main character only has the same old paths.
1: enjoys sex = you have to end up a walking doormat sex slave/whore.
2: like topping = a complete dick/cunt domme.
3) forced to be a sex hating/avoiding knight.
(Finished V2)
Still enjoying it and the tone, but slowly the pacing down a little for getting to know the girls and a little bit longer sex scenes would be m only recomendation.
Vote Brenda
I think the X-rated scenes definitely need to be a little longer.
Things like her just going to the guild hall with only a minor, BTW I passed it yesterday and noticed, were kind of jarring and broke the immersion in the story.
The number of forth wall breaks in later version could be reduced a bit.
Spending more time even if only a couple scenes about her thoughts.
Please continue her "training" with her dragon spirt. I loved that she doesn't know what to do with her new found "gift" and is learning how to enjoy it.
I hope you don't fall down the route 80 to 90% of games here do where the main character only has the same old paths.
1: enjoys sex = you have to end up a walking doormat sex slave/whore.
2: like topping = a complete dick/cunt domme.
3) forced to be a sex hating/avoiding knight.
(Finished V2)
Still enjoying it and the tone, but slowly the pacing down a little for getting to know the girls and a little bit longer sex scenes would be m only recomendation.
Vote Brenda
Last edited:
Sorry, I was kind of exhausted by a 10 hour work day so my already horrible tyoponesse was even worse then normal. The pacing of some events is kind of jarring. The example I tried to use was the part where she is at the hotel and grieving, she decides to come out and after a quick chat with Bea there is the scene where she simply says. "Well I am off to the guild." Then the picture of guild appears and it says, "You head to the adventurer's guild that you passed by on the way to the inn the other day." To me it makes the game feel rushed, and there are one or other spots two that are kind of similar. That it would feel more immersive and help the flow of the game for the player to have them be part of finding the location with her, rather then just telling them after the fact, by the way, I saw this/the guild earlier and it just wasn't shown.
Makes sense, I'll keep that in mind for the future. I'll rewrite the section to make it flow better.
- Mar 27, 2022
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Overall enjoyed 0.2. As far as memes and fourth wall breaks go I'm ok with it as it helps set this VN apart (granted I don't really play VNs so what do I know). The sex ed stuff fits that theme too lol, stick with how you've been doing it when a new position is unlocked or whatever that is relevant and if its something you think needs one.
As far as story speed/pace I guess it entirely depends on your end goal, how long you plan to work on this, and how much effort you're willing to put in. Fast and loose story can obviously handwave more than a slower more thought out story.
As far as story speed/pace I guess it entirely depends on your end goal, how long you plan to work on this, and how much effort you're willing to put in. Fast and loose story can obviously handwave more than a slower more thought out story.
Wholeheartedly agreeing about that.
I just wanted to point than on top of foreshadowing some things (which is great), an alternative would be to make the MC ask about the world to other people (bea would likely have directed the MC to the guild if she asked for place to make some buck, and that kind of convo could be pretty interesting if it's with characters that are quick on the teasing)
While i'm posting here: random question, does the MC still have female parts too ? The intro scene describe she have a newfound dick, but I didn't see anything about the lack (or presence) of vagina.
If yes, I'm putting in the suggestion box having some gal(s) interested in playing with the MC's females bits (including breast, too)
Funnily enough that is how I rewritten the section by making Beatrice introduce it to the MC.
Also, I can't believe you just glossed over the quick milking scene! (it showed both her penis and vagina) Jokes aside, she hasn't really had a scene yet that explored her other bits yet. But I did say v0.3 will have Futa x Futa content so you're going to have to wait just a bit longer.
I can't believe I forgor about that CG oO
For my defense, this part of the scene last literally 3 text boxes... I don't think it did take me much longer to forgot about it <.<
Futa's interacting with our MC's lady bits was not what I had in mind with that question, but hey, it works too, and I won't complain !
(the paper in the suggestion box is more "having another lady do a cuni/fingering our mc's pussy". Could totally be a "no i won't touch your cock" tease, or a "pussy or cock? Both!", I didn't think that deeply about it. Could also be playing footsie with it cause, why not?)
Just a little spoiler.
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As someone who actually plays modern Maplestory and also visits this site, i think there's good potential here for true wap n fap content. Bonus points if you add in auto transitions and arcs that last exactly 2 hours. Personally, I think it'd be cool if the story did follow the in-game lore up to BM (with the addition that defeating the Commanders means fucking them), and if you did implement scenes for all the classes. There is definitely a lack of high quality Maplestory porn (mostly because it's a chibi 2D game) for many of the high profile characters, so including content for e.g. Cygnus, Lucid, even Claudine would be very interesting. There's also a lot of content mileage from just all the classes - Aran (cue Kobe clip reviewing that orangemushroom comment on remastered Aran) or female Kinesis would be great to see.
For actual scenes, I'll echo the other posters in that longer scenes would be better. There's a lot of text but just not that much variety in scenes.
I had difficulty getting too invested since I felt like it was missing an overarching plot. There were some scenes where MC missed her mother and was just joining the adventurer guild, but no definitive motivation or conflict. For example it could just be something like "I want to go home and see my mom again" or "I want to become the strongest adventurer." Or just follow actual Maple story and have it be "I want to defeat BM and save Maple World." I think the immersion and good storytelling adds a lot in a kinetic novel.
This might be an issue with AI art in general but all the girls looked similar apart from the hair. I think longer introductions and scenes could help with differentiating them. I don't mind AI art, but imo when using it, there's more challenges with consistency which can break immersion. If you don't want to have a serious plot, the art and scenes must be really good to make up for it. I would say the comic page with the futa redhead the MC finds in the room is actually one of the better pieces of content just because it has more scenes. Something like 3-4 times that amount would be like the minimum I'd expect for good quality scenes.
Might have more thoughts later but pretty decent so far, looking forward to seeing how this will end up.
For actual scenes, I'll echo the other posters in that longer scenes would be better. There's a lot of text but just not that much variety in scenes.
I had difficulty getting too invested since I felt like it was missing an overarching plot. There were some scenes where MC missed her mother and was just joining the adventurer guild, but no definitive motivation or conflict. For example it could just be something like "I want to go home and see my mom again" or "I want to become the strongest adventurer." Or just follow actual Maple story and have it be "I want to defeat BM and save Maple World." I think the immersion and good storytelling adds a lot in a kinetic novel.
This might be an issue with AI art in general but all the girls looked similar apart from the hair. I think longer introductions and scenes could help with differentiating them. I don't mind AI art, but imo when using it, there's more challenges with consistency which can break immersion. If you don't want to have a serious plot, the art and scenes must be really good to make up for it. I would say the comic page with the futa redhead the MC finds in the room is actually one of the better pieces of content just because it has more scenes. Something like 3-4 times that amount would be like the minimum I'd expect for good quality scenes.
Might have more thoughts later but pretty decent so far, looking forward to seeing how this will end up.
Finally, someone who has some knowledge on the backstory.
To answer some of your feedback.
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Wait, it's a maplestory game? Who knew... only did play it for a tinsy bit decade ago and I didn't notice at aaaalll oO
If Plastic Lover does expect only more variation in the picture.. I wouldn't mind that at all, but indeed my preference lies in "more words" (especially if the writing are more detail on the characters feelings)
I have actually zero clue about the wap part mean @w@
Might or might not. In themselves, I would argue the scene does have plenty of variety already, but I can also agree most feel same-y (partially since we don't know much on the involved character)
If Plastic Lover does expect only more variation in the picture.. I wouldn't mind that at all, but indeed my preference lies in "more words" (especially if the writing are more detail on the characters feelings)
Entirely seconding that part (and imo it could also help during the sex scenes)
The story is based in maplestory but is not going to follow the events the same way. Obviously my AVN will be more H-scenes and story forward than grinding for hours for morsels of stories and XP/Mesos.Wait, it's a maplestory game? Who knew... only did play it for a tinsy bit decade ago and I didn't notice at aaaalll oO
I have actually zero clue about the wap part mean @w@
Might or might not. In themselves, I would argue the scene does have plenty of variety already, but I can also agree most feel same-y (partially since we don't know much on the involved character)
If Plastic Lover does expect only more variation in the picture.. I wouldn't mind that at all, but indeed my preference lies in "more words" (especially if the writing are more detail on the characters feelings)
Entirely seconding that part (and imo it could also help during the sex scenes)
So you don't need to know about maple at all, there however may be in jokes only maplers would understand. There are already elements that aren't in maple, for instance the adventurer's guild does not exist.
WAP is short for 'Wealth Accumulation Potion' basically people who train uses it as it increases drop rate and meso rates by 20% for 2 hours. (there is also a 30 minute version) It is usually used as a time benchmark.
I hope to strike some kind of happy medium to make all my readers enjoy.
No one really exactly tells you their life story the moment you meet them so, it will take time again to learn more about the different girls. This does kind of conflict with me wanting to move the story forward a bit faster than normal, so we'll see.