TsubameYui

Active Member
Nov 2, 2022
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*snip*
Now STOP!


"She is now afraid" is a bit rigid for conversational English. "Now she is afraid" or just "Now she's afraid" is more natural. I'm also not sure what Sammy means by this statement. Is she scared to leave the house? Was his mom a whore, hence "staying" on the streets? I feel like there was something in the scene with their confrontation about her being a hypocrite...


Both the period and comma should be removed.


Just missing a period at the end.
Hey, check a few comments back for the proofread chapter 8 file. Personal issues kept me from delivering in time for release.
 
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Hungover00

Engaged Member
Apr 29, 2023
2,626
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Cliffhanger thoughts:

Feels like it should be fleshed out a bit more. Wiping down the van, dumping or burning the bodies, investigating the cell phone contacts, etc. Maybe a trip to that doctor again to get checked out for a concussion. Head injuries are a bitch. Jumping past it so quickly made it lose some of its heft. The nightmares are a good touch (I didn't check to see if they were there if you say you'll play nice) though.
 

mafarus

Member
Apr 29, 2023
108
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The script, the characters may be interesting, but I didn't like the visualization. And it's not realism, with normal colors and proportions, and it's not a cartoon. In general, it's not my product. Too bad. The theme is mine.
 

RippedKegels

Member
May 30, 2022
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absolutely chickened out on the best cheating possibility (sister's partner) even after teasing it.

lame lame lame.
 

Hungover00

Engaged Member
Apr 29, 2023
2,626
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The script, the characters may be interesting, but I didn't like the visualization. And it's not realism, with normal colors and proportions, and it's not a cartoon. In general, it's not my product. Too bad. The theme is mine.
Odd. Visuals can add a lot to a game, but they've rarely ever make or break a game for me, if the other qualities are good. Though there have been quite a few games that I delayed starting because of the graphics, and then regretted it. But to each their own.
 

Kind Nightmares

UNDAWN: Shackles of Eternity developer
Game Developer
Oct 1, 2019
1,091
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Thoughts on Chapter 8:
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What makes you think anyone told Susan, Mia or Adam that Jade had been kidnapped? Bella just asked all the relatives if they'd seen her.

Not everything that happens in the characters' lives is shown in the game, I was hoping that should have been clear by now. Some texting, phone conversations, etc happen off-screen. This game is not Slice of Life. So, I don't understand why everyone so drastically wanted all the issues to be resolved right here and now. It's not like you have to wait six months for updates.

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MadfireMonkey

Member
Dec 1, 2022
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Cliffhanger thoughts:

Feels like it should be fleshed out a bit more. Wiping down the van, dumping or burning the bodies, investigating the cell phone contacts, etc. Maybe a trip to that doctor again to get checked out for a concussion. Head injuries are a bitch. Jumping past it so quickly made it lose some of its heft. The nightmares are a good touch (I didn't check to see if they were there if you say you'll play nice) though.
It doesn't happen if you choose the other option.
 

Warphorror

Active Member
Jan 2, 2018
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It doesn't happen if you choose the other option.
What choice? I didn't have any kind of choice regarding the van situation but I did play a non murder route so maybe it's linked to earliers choices?
The resolution of the attack was underwhelming.
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I know it's not a minutes by minutes slice of life but the whole things left me puzzled by how few information were given to the player. Also the fact it was a cliffhanger gave it too much expectation than if it happened in one episode.
 

MadfireMonkey

Member
Dec 1, 2022
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What choice? I didn't have any kind of choice regarding the van situation but I did play a non murder route so maybe it's linked to earliers choices?
The resolution of the attack was underwhelming.
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I know it's not a minutes by minutes slice of life but the whole things left me puzzled by how few information were given to the player. Also the fact it was a cliffhanger gave it too much expectation than if it happened in one episode.
I meant the nightmare it doesn't happen if you just leave I went back and checked after I saw it.
 
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Ciaran8023

Active Member
Jun 4, 2018
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What choice? I didn't have any kind of choice regarding the van situation but I did play a non murder route so maybe it's linked to earliers choices?
The resolution of the attack was underwhelming.
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I know it's not a minutes by minutes slice of life but the whole things left me puzzled by how few information were given to the player. Also the fact it was a cliffhanger gave it too much expectation than if it happened in one episode.
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Also, I'd wager the reason she "ghosted" them for two days was because she was party unconscious and partly interrogated for those two days. It's the most logical explanation.
 

zodiac44

Member
Jul 4, 2017
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For the cliffhanger, I can totally believe that Jade would play it off as if the kidnapping was nothing. She's not the type to cry on anyone's shoulder when something traumatic happens (toxic masculinity is apparently a futa trait in this world). And it's clear that things were not as simple as depicted in the flashback. For her to have been gone for 2 days, there must have been more going on that we weren't told - especially if you're on the murder path. Dead bodies have a way of raising red flags, and the van and the bat have her fingerprints and DNA all over them. The villains know she offed their goons, and they have corrupt police on their payroll, you can bet that there's trouble coming from them.
 
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