VN Ren'Py Intertwined [v0.13.2] [Nyx]

[Warscared]

Just finished reading the bestseller book:

The Unbearable Lightness of Game Rewriting
by Nyx Valeria
2nd Anniversary Edition

What a gem. I instantly got some ideas about parts of the Intertwined game that desperately need rewriting.
Warning: I'm deadly serious !

Scene 1: Beating the shit out of Ethan

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Scene 2: The Showdown in the alley with Zach and Ethan

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Scene 3: Making a plan for John to meet Ethan

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

I know, we all hate rewrites. But how blind we should be. Those scenes simply don't make sense.

Now I have to prepare for shitstorm.

actually i had something similar, i was having a debate with one of my multiple personalities
on how great Andres the MC legal father trully is...
i mean the guy is well off for sure and he is marrying a 40 year old who used to fuck a ginger?
even worse she must be a serial cheater one kid has straight red hair and the other wavy dark hair...
since the mom is the same... the father most defenitily is not! chances of being the same father are ...
red hair is like 2%... 2 such drastically diferent hair colours? come on, get your mendelian genetics cap on ffs!

Anyway my rewrite in regards to Andres would not go that diferent then whats already stated except....
he was hitting on Emily best friend for several straight years until Mel caught them arguinging over Santi...
and that was when Mel would reveal Andres for the sleezebag that he is, since its hypocrisy on his part!

this way Andres is a creep i mean hitting on other girls? sure, but your wife´s best friend? how retard are you?
Mel would not tell prior because she did not want to make Emily choose beteween her husband and her best friend!

this is a logical sequence imho! this way Andres is actually quite nice,
the 40 year old over the hill hag should be thankfull of even having sex, him marrying her is like a blessing!
seriously if he is well off, he can get single mothers with 5-6 years old which means they are 25 not fucking 40!
or even better a woman without a kid that ranges from 27 to 32, not a 40 year old hag!
something something something 40 year old something something and if he is rich enough he can get a 18-23 year old easily!
So why is he marrying her? must be love... or else he totally aiming at nailing Nikki and Cara in a corruptiong path
i am pretty sure i have seen that script in a game in here... the hero MC marries the Milf to seduce the daughters...

 

[cxx]

So uh, Lexi is MC's sister?

possibly but no confirmation.

 

[Elduriel]

possibly but no confirmation.

unlikely af, because then that would be incest

 

[SamualHand]

So uh, Lexi is MC's sister?

The really important question, who is the brother?
Zach
Ethan
or both?

 

[NewTricks]

So uh, Lexi is MC's sister?

My magic 8 ball says:



MC's bio dad is like Johnny Appleseed. I wouldn't be surprised if every one of the girls who don't have a dad is his.

 

[Puma1978]

My magic 8 ball says:

View attachment 2331095

MC's bio dad is like Johnny Appleseed. I wouldn't be surprised if every one of the girls who don't have a dad is his.

I wouldnt be surprised if Nyx's non incest statement is just a hoax to cheat patreon and the game will have an ending where every girl will turn out to be related with MC.......and maybe his mum as the only non relative...;-)...damn...how was it in the serie Shameless with the youngest child?

 

[cxx]

unlikely af, because then that would be incest

well no official confirmation.

MC's bio dad is like Johnny Appleseed. I wouldn't be surprised if every one of the girls who don't have a dad is his.

quite possible.

 

[Pendrell]

Love Elena in this, but dios mío does it take “slow burn” to another level. Hoping that within another 5 chapters they might kiss.

 

[Jordanskene01]

She's giving him slight bedroom eyes she One Hundred Percent wants that D and this is even when I was back with Cara and she finds out about it and yet she still makes out with him later on she don't care if she has to step on a girl's toes to get him. She's gonna try and get him haha and honestly I'm all for it.

How do y'all think Erynn and MC's first proper full on sex scene is gonna go I'm hoping in epiosde 11 coming up they do some stuff like just oral really after they get back from her modelling gig. Then maybe in epiosde 12 they finally do the deed cause they clearly both want it and I'd even argue Erynn wants it even more then The MC Does. She's certainly hesitant about it but she clearly wants it even more then he does. Not too sure how it'll go but it will definitely be sweet I'd say there's no doubt about that.

 

[Warscared]

She's giving him slight bedroom eyes she One Hundred Percent wants that D and this is even when I was back with Cara and she finds out about it and yet she still makes out with him later on she don't care if she has to step on a girl's toes to get him. She's gonna try and get him haha and honestly I'm all for it.

How do y'all think Erynn and MC's first proper full on sex scene is gonna go I'm hoping in epiosde 11 coming up they do some stuff like just oral really after they get back from her modelling gig. Then maybe in epiosde 12 they finally do the deed cause they clearly both want it and I'd even argue Erynn wants it even more then The MC Does. She's certainly hesitant about it but she clearly wants it even more then he does. Not too sure how it'll go but it will definitely be sweet I'd say there's no doubt about that.

she offers the MC a drink when they go out to celebrate not realising that shit was spiked
and she ends up "inadvertadly" rapind the MC...
if the MC is on any other LI path you can call her out on her date rape!

and this will be the sound track!

 

[LSC82]

She's giving him slight bedroom eyes she One Hundred Percent wants that D and this is even when I was back with Cara and she finds out about it and yet she still makes out with him later on she don't care if she has to step on a girl's toes to get him. She's gonna try and get him haha and honestly I'm all for it.

How do y'all think Erynn and MC's first proper full on sex scene is gonna go I'm hoping in epiosde 11 coming up they do some stuff like just oral really after they get back from her modelling gig. Then maybe in epiosde 12 they finally do the deed cause they clearly both want it and I'd even argue Erynn wants it even more then The MC Does. She's certainly hesitant about it but she clearly wants it even more then he does. Not too sure how it'll go but it will definitely be sweet I'd say there's no doubt about that.

There's gotta be something in that modelling gig, it can't be simply go there do the job comeback, right?
From the pictures Erynn was happily doing her job and Ethan was nowhere to be seen... i'm thinking for the second part of the shoot they need a male model, but he hasn't shown up, the MC is asked to fill the role.
That could lead to some fun situations.

I think the hesitancy time has extended long enough, it's clear they both want it (as you say Erynn isn't even troubled by Nikki/Cara, Alexis on the other hand...), one of these 2 needs to say something and soon.
Let's see how it will play out...

Love Elena in this, but dios mío does it take “slow burn” to another level. Hoping that within another 5 chapters they might kiss.

That one... yeah, until the Layla situation is handled nothing is happening.
Layla is also suppoused to feature heavily in this next chapter so let's see.

 

[PeraDrnda]

Scene 1: You forgot about most important thing here, which makes game good or bad here - human factor aka emotions. MC is just a man, Ethan made cry girl, his best friend/love from childhood in some dark alley, shouting at her, hitting her. He was bullying him all his childhood indirectly causing him to leave his home for few years. I think beating him to the ground is perfectly normal, reflex reaction when you are not really thinking at the moment just act. Of course it may lead him to some troubles but this is how human works, emotions are often overshadowing cool-headed thoughts.

I totally agree with you that what you said is a possibility. Clouded minds, both Erynn and MC hate Ethan enough to keep MC beating him senselessly. At some point it woudn't surprise me that MC actually kill him. Guess Nyx is way too smart to exchange blackmail plot for murder investigation that early in the game. She already abandoned the idea of Nikki's death. But, let me tell you, there's somethng dark in Nyx. She likes violence and blood, so I expect that one dead female body is just a start, and IMHO we're gonna see pile of bodies till the end. Serial killer, high possibility ! But, we have another problem, from real life. Hitting somebody's head multiple times with bare fists is an excellent way to hurt yourself as well. So, how is MC going to explain that to his mother, and his friends, not to mention teachers and the principal ? Real life problems wherever we look. Are we going to ignore the fact that MC got his fists hurt in that "fight" ?

Scene 2: Zach is just an easy to manipulate idiot, I can also imagine this kind of situation in real life pretty easily. I would say it wasn't some kind of big plan from Ethan, just coincidence that he knows Zach and Zach knows MC so good opportunity to have some fun. Zach was not planning any kind of revange himself, he is not capable of it. He was just pushed a little by Ethan, that's all.

And again I'll agree with you that Zach is an idiot incapable of plotting the revenge. When I mentioned revenge I actually thought about a chance for Zach to accuse MC of not being a wingman, but a manwhore, what ultimately would lead to that pushing and punching. Zach do not need to be pushed by Ethan. He's not blind. He witnesses so many times how MC acted like a manwhore (at least Nyx gives the player that option).
Let's get back to Ethan. I checked the script, Ethan was beaten by MC on Monday (Week 3). Alley "showdown" goes on Friday afternoon (Week 4). Was 10 days enough for Ethan to look perfectly healthy ? BTW, my friend was badly punched in the eye, just once, and he was absent from school for a whole week. His eye was totally closed for couple of days. I also know another dude, who was hit directly into mouth, also just once. Tons of stiches, 4 broken teeth, couldn't speek, or eat for a week, and mumbled for couple weeks after doctors said that he's offically OK. I'd say that Ethan could be on his legs at that ally, but badly patched, and certainly not so calm and chatty.
You didn't comment on John's/Valeria's role in that scene. My guess is that you're not very fond of that idea. And, now we come to the part where MC is all alone against very angry Ethan, and two of his goons. Why I'm so against this whole alley shit ? Violence only lead to more violence. And, it's MC's time to be badly beaten in that alley. How to keep on going after that ? IRL it's a one way road, hospital, or even grave. Yes, Ethan could use the fact that Zach was there and had a fight with MC. So he can use MC's death to accuse Zach of MC's murder (got two goons as witnesses). Perfect opportunity to get rid of MC (and Zach). Angry, evil man can do that easily. GAME OVER!

 

[PeraDrnda]

Also Moore, Moreno, Morgan, Monroe... what's with the love for the "Mo" beggining?

Found culprit(s). As all other devs, Nyx is using her Patreon account to post polls, progress updates, preview pics and so on...
This is an old post with invitation to vote about Alexis mom's name and surname:
https://f95zone.to/threads/intertwined-v0-10-5-nyx.53676/post-4121046

Guess that's how it was in all other cases, LI names excluded, IMHO. Patrons desided about Adriana's styling also. Guess they did solid job.

So, that's why we have so many "Mo".

actually i had something similar, i was having a debate with one of my multiple personalities
on how great Andres the MC legal father trully is...
i mean the guy is well off for sure and he is marrying a 40 year old who used to fuck a ginger?
even worse she must be a serial cheater one kid has straight red hair and the other wavy dark hair...
since the mom is the same... the father most defenitily is not! chances of being the same father are ...
red hair is like 2%... 2 such drastically diferent hair colours? come on, get your mendelian genetics cap on ffs!

Anyway my rewrite in regards to Andres would not go that diferent then whats already stated except....
he was hitting on Emily best friend for several straight years until Mel caught them arguinging over Santi...
and that was when Mel would reveal Andres for the sleezebag that he is, since its hypocrisy on his part!

this way Andres is a creep i mean hitting on other girls? sure, but your wife´s best friend? how retard are you?
Mel would not tell prior because she did not want to make Emily choose beteween her husband and her best friend!

this is a logical sequence imho! this way Andres is actually quite nice,
the 40 year old over the hill hag should be thankfull of even having sex, him marrying her is like a blessing!
seriously if he is well off, he can get single mothers with 5-6 years old which means they are 25 not fucking 40!
or even better a woman without a kid that ranges from 27 to 32, not a 40 year old hag!
something something something 40 year old something something and if he is rich enough he can get a 18-23 year old easily!
So why is he marrying her? must be love... or else he totally aiming at nailing Nikki and Cara in a corruptiong path
i am pretty sure i have seen that script in a game in here... the hero MC marries the Milf to seduce the daughters...

I'm one of those who was sad that Nyx sacrified Andres in that way. After being a more than good father to MC, he deserved to go with dignity, not like a miserable cheater. It will be much better that Andres died in a car accident. There's "small" problem with my idea, because Emily would attend Andres' funeral, so on the way back MC and Emily will be seated together in the plane. No chance for Alexis to meet MC and get her plane toilet fuck .

 

[PeraDrnda]

bug found on gabi's path

I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

While running game code:
File "game/episode_10.rpy", line 8938, in script
if Valeria_Week4_Friday_Help == True:
File "game/episode_10.rpy", line 8938, in <module>
if Valeria_Week4_Friday_Help == True:
NameError: name 'Valeria_Week4_Friday_Help' is not defined

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

Full traceback:
File "game/episode_10.rpy", line 8938, in script
if Valeria_Week4_Friday_Help == True:
File "renpy/ast.py", line 1898, in execute
if renpy.python.py_eval(condition):
File "renpy/python.py", line 2276, in py_eval
return py_eval_bytecode(code, globals, locals)
File "renpy/python.py", line 2269, in py_eval_bytecode
return eval(bytecode, globals, locals)
File "game/episode_10.rpy", line 8938, in <module>
if Valeria_Week4_Friday_Help == True:
NameError: name 'Valeria_Week4_Friday_Help' is not defined

Windows-10-10.0.19041
Ren'Py 7.4.11.2266
Intertwined 0.10
Tue Jan 17 10:27:10 2023

I have to reply to my own post, because simple editing previous post won't help you to understand this error, and how to bypass it.

It appears at two places, second place under spoiler

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Valeria_Week4_Friday_Help statement was introduced during the latest rewrite 10.5 in files:
episode_9.rpy
episode_10.rpy
You won't have any problems if you "confront" Ethan during his quarrel with Erynn.
If you just left the scene, then you'll encounter this error in episode 10.

To safely bypass the error, rollback when it appears,
open the console with SHIFT + O
type this line
$ Valeria_Week4_Friday_Help = False
press Enter
press Escape to exit console

Keep playing. I'm prety sure that after you pass the error point any future save file will not be corrupted.

NOTE: Console is not enabled by default in Intertwined. To open console I'm using a small file in attachment.
Extract it in Intertwined's /game folder. It should work with any other Ren'py game if placed in its game folder.

 

[Impurity2937]

You didn't comment on John's/Valeria's role in that scene. My guess is that you're not very fond of that idea. And, now we come to the part where MC is all alone against very angry Ethan, and two of his goons. Why I'm so against this whole alley shit ? Violence only lead to more violence. And, it's MC's time to be badly beaten in that alley. How to keep on going after that ? IRL it's a one way road, hospital, or even grave. Yes, Ethan could use the fact that Zach was there and had a fight with MC. So he can use MC's death to accuse Zach of MC's murder (got two goons as witnesses). Perfect opportunity to get rid of MC (and Zach). Angry, evil man can do that easily. GAME OVER!

I have no really thoughts about that third scene, so I didn't want to waffle about that. My only thoughts after this scene was hope that MC will have proper attitude towards Zach and NYX will not force player to make peace with him becasue "he is old friend and made mistake and he is sorry" or other kind of shit.

Also I do not like idea often repeated in VNs when MC has got only one male friend and everything is based on him. Often it is just wingman unable to get laid on his own or/and jester. Like you are forced to be his friend but the only good friend I saw so far in VNs was Liam from Acting Lessons (still kinda jester but lets say it was plot-related). On the other side you got Derek from BaDIK, this barman guy in Hillside, Chris from LeapOfFaith, Mike from SummersHeat etc etc. Like why cannot you have two normal male friends?

 

[dolfe67]

Like why cannot you have two normal male friends?

Because it will hurt the ego of fragile players

 

[Elduriel]

I have no really thoughts about that third scene, so I didn't want to waffle about that. My only thoughts after this scene was hope that MC will have proper attitude towards Zach and NYX will not force player to make peace with him becasue "he is old friend and made mistake and he is sorry" or other kind of shit.

Also I do not like idea often repeated in VNs when MC has got only one male friend and everything is based on him. Often it is just wingman unable to get laid on his own or/and jester. Like you are forced to be his friend but the only good friend I saw so far in VNs was Liam from Acting Lessons (still kinda jester but lets say it was plot-related). On the other side you got Derek from BaDIK, this barman guy in Hillside, Chris from LeapOfFaith, Mike from SummersHeat etc etc. Like why cannot you have two normal male friends?

how can you leave out Chang from Eternum

 

[misfolk]

I have no really thoughts about that third scene, so I didn't want to waffle about that. My only thoughts after this scene was hope that MC will have proper attitude towards Zach and NYX will not force player to make peace with him becasue "he is old friend and made mistake and he is sorry" or other kind of shit.

Also I do not like idea often repeated in VNs when MC has got only one male friend and everything is based on him. Often it is just wingman unable to get laid on his own or/and jester. Like you are forced to be his friend but the only good friend I saw so far in VNs was Liam from Acting Lessons (still kinda jester but lets say it was plot-related). On the other side you got Derek from BaDIK, this barman guy in Hillside, Chris from LeapOfFaith, Mike from SummersHeat etc etc. Like why cannot you have two normal male friends?

I like ORS for this reason. You've got three male friends that have different success with women:

• one is a shy neckbeard who sucks as a wingman, it's your job to get him laid
• one is an ex-chad turned NEET, whose failing relationship you can either fix or sabotage
• one is a playa with a black python in his pants, you can either try to keep up with him or agree that bros come before hos and split the playing field

 

[Jack Townsend]

Foolish as this may be, I'm still hoping for a Naomi romance. After seeing her naked in the changing room, I've wanted her ever since.

 

[SamualHand]

one is a playa with a black python in his pants, you can either try to keep up with him or agree that bros come before hos and split the playing field

Bottom up or down is the question then?
1st your bros, then the hos, not sure the hos mind as long as you pay your bill.