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MrFriendly

Officially Dead Inside
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Feb 23, 2020
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I'm gonna answer some question which won't spoil anything.



Madison Springs is pretty big actually. But they live in a smaller town at the outskirts of Madison Springs.. Which is still called Madison Springs.. That's why they have to take a bus/train to go to the city.. It's like 20min away..
May I suggest that you call the town/suburb the characters live in East or West Madison Springs? It is odd for two communities to be called the same thing, next to each other, and not have any distinction. There are a lot of reasons why it wouldn't be that way IRL. They may still call it all "Madison Springs" but there would be an important difference.

la "How do you know Erynn?"
mc "She was my neighbour back in the day.."
la "Oh nice.. So you also know Melissa?"
la "She's my hairstylist.."

I think you read it wrong. They were never neighbours. MC and Erynn were.
Yep, yep, I was wrong. Not the first or last time. Can't even blame drunkenness... SMH

Yes they did. There will be a flashback about them in one of the future updates.
Oh! I am looking forward to that.

me "Haha.. Don't worry.. I'm kidding."
me "Nothing you haven't seen before right..?"
mc "{i}(What? What does she mean by that? Did I..?){/i}"

Even if the backyard scene didn't happen. Something else happened in the past..
But I get the Deja Vu comment.. It might be a stretch.. I will look into it and change it if possible without having to restart the game..
Yeah, it felt very much like the comment was about that moment in time and not a "back when the MC was younger" type thing.

I know you play as the MC and actually know if the voice was male or female. But this way, it adds more to the mystery.
It gives me more options.
Female: Mother, sister, girlfriend
Male: Father, brother, boyfriend, husband

Edit:
Now when I reread it, it would be really weird if it was the father or brother.. Since they mention that Alexis normally doesn't lock the door. And they wouldn't just barge in on a girl in the bathroom.. So these options are invalid..

What do other think about this.. Do you want me to add if it's a male or female or keep it like this and keep you guessing until it is resolved?
I just want to reiterate, for immersion, if you want players to feel like they are invested in the MC that we should know whether it was a man or woman. If it was a man the MC would ask "who was that?". If it was Layla there is a chance he should recognize her voice, I know they've only known each other for a week but they've spent a lot of time together. Though with the shower on, the talking through a door, and the distraction that Alexis presents it would be possible for him not to recognize her voice.
 

Deleted member 596203

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May 5, 2018
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May I suggest that you call the town/suburb the characters live in East or West Madison Springs? It is odd for two communities to be called the same thing, next to each other, and not have any distinction. There are a lot of reasons why it wouldn't be that way IRL. They may still call it all "Madison Springs" but there would be an important difference.
Funny enough, I live in a city which has exactly this scenario. The city is split in 5 districts, each has their own name, but one of them has the same name as the city itself.
But I actually like your idea. The distinction would make it easier. But I don't think it has come up yet in the story.. I have to read it to see if something needs to change. I think I called it "city" if they were talking about the big city center.

I just want to reiterate, for immersion, if you want players to feel like they are invested in the MC that we should know whether it was a man or woman. If it was a man the MC would ask "who was that?". If it was Layla there is a chance he should recognize her voice, I know they've only known each other for a week but they've spent a lot of time together. Though with the shower on, the talking through a door, and the distraction that Alexis presents it would be possible for him not to recognize her voice.
At the moment more people are for the change rather than keep it. I give it a couple more days just before the next patreon tier release. I make some changes then and reupload it. Maybe some other things come up in the meantime which I can "patch" too..
 

MrFriendly

Officially Dead Inside
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Feb 23, 2020
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Funny enough, I live in a city which has exactly this scenario. The city is split in 5 districts, each has their own name, but one of them has the same name as the city itself.
But I actually like your idea. The distinction would make it easier. But I don't think it has come up yet in the story.. I have to read it to see if something needs to change. I think I called it "city" if they were talking about the big city center.



At the moment more people are for the change rather than keep it. I give it a couple more days just before the next patreon tier release. I make some changes then and reupload it. Maybe some other things come up in the meantime which I can "patch" too..
I was going to offer to proofread the game and suggest any tweaks to the language, if you are interested? Purely volunteering here, just would like to help out.
 

MuffinManWantsPregnancy

Say no to NTR and Fuck a Preggie girl
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Feb 5, 2020
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Yo, that entire intro was painful to get through :rolleyes:. The conversation about the tattoo Mc's daddy got for him to me was fuckin' cringe. Having a really hard time relating at all to this Mc and he seems like another freeloading beta. Perhaps my mind will change, but not a good start for me as it's just a slog to get through. I do see the potential of something good here though. Just not sure if I want to keep at it.
 

Raziel_8

Engaged Member
Dec 4, 2017
3,917
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The conversation about the tattoo Mc's daddy got for him to me was fuckin' cringe. Having a really hard time relating at all to this Mc and he seems like another freeloading beta.
Hm i don't find it very cringey, even less compared what u see in most other games on a regular basis.
Well we all have Mc's where it's easier to relate to, or not at all.
Though the freeloading beta is a bit exaggerated, as the Mc is still a 18 year old student.
As for the beta part, i would say, Mc is insecure/inexperienced at some points, which isn't surprising for a young adult
,i would find the opposite more unbelievable...or unsympathetic.

Edit: and didn't the Mc want to work at the bar/restaurant/club of his mother
 
Last edited:

MrFriendly

Officially Dead Inside
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Feb 23, 2020
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Hm i don't find it very cringey, even less compared what u see in most other games on a regular basis.
Well we all have Mc's where it's easier to relate to, or not at all.
Though the freeloading beta is a bit exaggerated, as the Mc is still a 18 year old student.
As for the beta part, i would say, Mc is insecure/inexperienced at some points, which isn't surprising for a young adult
,i would find the opposite more unbelievable...or unsympathetic.

Edit: and didn't the Mc want to work at the bar/restaurant/club of his mother
Agreed, I didn't feel that the MC was in anyway completely passive, submissive, etc. He seemed rather "normal" to me. Not an overly dominant individual but also not overly sub... <shrug>.
 

MuffinManWantsPregnancy

Say no to NTR and Fuck a Preggie girl
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Feb 5, 2020
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Hm i don't find it very cringey, even less compared what u see in most other games on a regular basis.
Well we all have Mc's where it's easier to relate to, or not at all.
Though the freeloading beta is a bit exaggerated, as the Mc is still a 18 year old student.
As for the beta part, i would say, Mc is insecure/inexperienced at some points, which isn't surprising for a young adult
,i would find the opposite more unbelievable...or unsympathetic.
That's fair and understandable. I just find it cringey, because even my own dad offered to pay for my first tattoo, yet I didn't get my first one until I had enough to pay for it myself. I just go by the philosophy that if you can't get your own tattoo then you don't need it. I don't find the tattoo itself cringey, just the dialogue about it. And I say freeloading because he's 18 y/o yet, as soon as he gets to his mother's he doesn't seem to want to man up and earn his keep. I didn't get that far in the game, however, so maybe I'm wrong? This is why I said the words, "he seems" as I am judging solely based on what I experienced so far. Insecure and inexperienced is definitely understandable. It's just that he seems hung up on a girl from 10 years before (not sure how old he was) who was a complete cunt. Or at least that's what is hinted at. So yeah, if he is then that's beta energy in my opinion. Time to grow up and move on. But hey that's just me. Merely stating my opinions/experience. If others enjoy the game, then awesome! I'll play a bit more to see if it piques my interest at all.
 
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Raziel_8

Engaged Member
Dec 4, 2017
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I just find it cringey, because even my own dad offered to pay for my first tattoo, yet I didn't get my first one until I had enough to pay for it myself.
I can relate to that, my parents had a similiar philosophy, even as a 12 year old u can deliver newspaper or something and pay half of what u want, makes u treasur something much more.

It's just that he seems hung up on a girl from 10 years before (not sure how old he was) who was a complete cunt. Or at least that's what is hinted at.
I agree with u there, holding a grudge for over 5 years because he got rejected as a 13y old let him look butthurt and whiny. U get the choice to grow up and move on though.
As for the cunt, from what Nyx said, we only know Mc's version so far and the whole story was probably a bit different back then, we will see. That being said, i don't find his childhood love sympathetic so far...
 

Deleted member 596203

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May 5, 2018
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Yo, that entire intro was painful to get through :rolleyes:. The conversation about the tattoo Mc's daddy got for him to me was fuckin' cringe. Having a really hard time relating at all to this Mc and he seems like another freeloading beta. Perhaps my mind will change, but not a good start for me as it's just a slog to get through. I do see the potential of something good here though. Just not sure if I want to keep at it.
First, if you don't like the story, you don't like it, nothing wrong with that. It's not for everyone..

About the tattoo, it was a birthday gift.. I don't see the problem that his father helped him pay for it.. Here is a small part of the upcoming ep:

mc "Funny.."
mc "Oh, by the way dad.. I need the money for the tattoo I'm getting next week.."
d "You're still getting it?"
mc "Yep.."
d "Alright.. As promised, I pay for half of it.."

Him being a freeloader...
He's a high-school student. He hasn't even been back for a week.. Give it some time.. I know I might have paced all the scenes to quickly. I should've just skipped days, but hey, hindsight 20/20. But it's nothing I can't change in the future..
 

Raziel_8

Engaged Member
Dec 4, 2017
3,917
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Him being a freeloader...
He's a high-school student. He hasn't even been back for a week.. Give it some time.. I know I might have paced all the scenes to quickly. I should've just skipped days, but hey, hindsight 20/20. But it's nothing I can't change in the future..
I would say the pacing was good so far, a few days of settling in and meeting the characters.
In future updates it may be good to skip a few days from time to time, makes it more natural as relationships/friendships develope and the Mc has a more regular daily shedule...simply better compared to when every day is filled to the brim, like dates with 4 girls at the same day....
 

Rendy7

Newbie
Dec 28, 2018
71
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Him being a freeloader...
He's a high-school student. He hasn't even been back for a week.. Give it some time.. I know I might have paced all the scenes to quickly. I should've just skipped days, but hey, hindsight 20/20. But it's nothing I can't change in the future..
Just played the game for the first time. Great Job on this. I love this game. Great story and great pace. Keep it up :)
 
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