VN Ren'Py Karlsson's Gambit [v0.8.1 Part I] [Grym Gudinna Games]

[Deleted member 1906916]

7/5/2020

Version 0.2bb: Approximately 24,000 words and 650 renders, new overall total roughly 1,100 images/42,600 words

Special thank you to the following for assistance:
Mankinder - Android Port
Zoey Raven - Walkthrough
RStar8 - Minor tech assistance and future coding on 0.3
TD 1900 - Great fan sigs, please check out his game Pale Carnations!
Krull - Great fan sigs!

7/17/2020

Chapter 2 Final Version: 24,585 words, 657 renders

Edits/adds to dialogue, music, renders, and highly recommend saving under this version for 0.3 given flags
Created separate dark text box version of game for final version (for people suffering from contrast sensitivity reading original text)
Updated Compressed/Android links - thank you to RStar8 for updated Android/Compressed versions of Chapter 2 Final!
Added Discord server invite. This for people asking what change from last release

 

[gregers]

Most of the renders and models are sort of decent, except for what I presume to be the MC. That dude needs to be on screen as little as possible.

The writing's a bit convoluted and foreshadowy (and the dark text box is necessary to read it in many scenes) but some of the scenarios are pretty fun. Too bad I'd missed the multiple protagonists tag: Nothing inherently wrong with multiple protags for those that enjoy it of course, it's just one of the quickest ways for me to lose immersion in a game. Especially in a game like this, deciding which path to take with each individual character and how they may intersect is a mood-killer (for me, anyway).

But hey, not every game can be for everyone. Best of luck with it!

 

[Aseratrix]

Thaaanks for the update!!!

 

[EdPokol]

Awesome update, lots of content... amazing story (and thnx to Zoey Raven's comprehensive walkthrough I think/hope I have seen it all). So thumbs up for TessSadist

 

[Belnick]

i liked the history cuz like novel about turning the tide,

Spoiler: OFF

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Then the game is just about to start MC will have a Harem soon its obvious he can recruit the guard soon to be his bitch and them many more, but he need to prove his worth first

think about it being a sub is optional thats the Fendom patch

the patch is the one people will play the most is the DOM patch, obvious you need to pretend and endure some times but one day you will teach those bitchs who is in charge

you sure you quoted the right person?
I have no problem with this game as it seems you can go maledom or femdom at your own choice.
What "upset" me was the low quality fuck scene when everything else been good up til then.
AND the scene where one of the girls murder a sub slave that failed her by breaking his neck like it was a pez toy
Ive seen someone break his neck in real life, I still hear the disturbing noise when I think about it and I think it will be with me my entire life, not something you forget, he survived, but it took a wrestler his own size that did a miss throw(lifted him too high) before slamming him with full force onto the mattress, slamming chin first, the crunching sound, then the body came over while his chin still was in the mattress and then the silence that felt like lasting for 5 min, which ofc were mere seconds as medics rushed in.

The scene would have been better if the dom bitch have put a plastic bag over his head and then rubbed her cunt over his nose while he was suffocating to death and she cumming while he was in death throws of not getting air, the breaking of the neck was just too cringy as I know how much force it require and even special forces use a knife between the neck vertebra and twist to sever connection to brain over trying to break their neck....movies

 

[UncleVT]

Very solid so far. One of the things I like best is that the three siblings (MC, Olivia and Seth) are not stupid or weak, but aware of their position in that society and we can choose how we want them to act in each situation, being able to balance between Evil and Good

As far as I can see, they will face great challenges, we will see where they will end up.

Spoiler

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[TundraLupus]

Very solid so far. One of the things I like best is that the three siblings (MC, Olivia and Seth) are not stupid or weak, but aware of their position in that society and we can choose how we want them to act in each situation, being able to balance between Evil and Good

As far as I can see, they will face great challenges, we will see where they will end up.

Spoiler

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Yes, Mc's like that are sadly quite rare, it is one of the reasons I like this game so much.

 

[asehpe]

I have no problem with this game as it seems you can go maledom or femdom at your own choice.
[...]
AND the scene where one of the girls murder a sub slave that failed her by breaking his neck like it was a pez toy
Ive seen someone break his neck in real life, I still hear the disturbing noise when I think about it and I think it will be with me my entire life, not something you forget, he survived, but it took a wrestler his own size that did a miss throw(lifted him too high) before slamming him with full force onto the mattress, slamming chin first, the crunching sound, then the body came over while his chin still was in the mattress and then the silence that felt like lasting for 5 min, which ofc were mere seconds as medics rushed in.

It's always difficult to accept a fictional description of something that one has seen happen differently in real life. But the idea here is not to go for medical realism, it is to go for an ambiance and a fantasy setting. If it displeased you because of your real-life (and quite traumatic, it seems) experience, it doesn't change the fact that the goal was not to attempt a perfect description of what breaking a human neck is really like.

(And I say this as someone who loves it when violence is made as realistic as possible in fiction. Still, the fact that it IS fiction means that it is not a documentary.)

The scene would have been better if the dom bitch have put a plastic bag over his head and then rubbed her cunt over his nose while he was suffocating to death and she cumming while he was in death throws of not getting air, the breaking of the neck was just too cringy as I know how much force it require and even special forces use a knife between the neck vertebra and twist to sever connection to brain over trying to break their neck....movies

That would indeed be an excellent scene, but frankly the neck-breaking one felt also very good to me, given the text, the situation, and the pleasure she took in the whole operation. I understand that knowing something can diminish the effects of a less-than-realistic fictional description, but if all you're looking for is the documentary approach then why even do fiction? Besides, it may well be that someone directly familiar with actual death by suffocation would mention similar defects in the scene you prefer (say, discoloration of the skin, effects on the eyes, etc.) -- but this wouldn't prevent you from enjoying the scene since you are not familiar with them. It's a personal question.

 

[asehpe]

it's funny how the game trying to tell you don't be a brainless sub pig

It is interesting that the VN medium, which at first seems very "democratic" and "user-oriented" in that you can have good endings, bad endings, happy endings, bittersweet endings etc. in the same game, in the end still does (like all fiction) defend some kind of viewpoint about reality. I don't think the game is necessarily "trying to tell you" that you shouldn't be "a brainless sub pig" (all in all, this game is sufficiently smart that it tells you not to be brainless independently of whether you're a dom, sub, neither, or both -- many options suggest the "think before you decide!" MO), but it is telling you something about power, and the difference it makes. Doms automatically strive for power, because they (good or evil) don't want to be oppressed or disposed of; subs don't, because at least in their sexual persona they enjoy being dominated. Now, it is an interesting question whether the latter is still compatible with a lot of power; the near-cliché of the powerful CEO who is secretly a sub looking forward to his/her next session with Mistress DeVille suggests that these things are compatible. But the game does at times suggest that a character basically is a dom or a sub consistently, i.e. you are in life as you are in intimacy. So, if you want power you need to be at least somewhat dom and thus enjoy dominating people, and if you enjoy being dominated then your submissiveness will hinder big ambitions about power or money. I wonder where that will take the MC, whatever route the player follows.

and most of females in this game is brain damaged or semi-retarded in terms of sub/dom relationship. seriously how can you get off as a sub watching a confused teen aged girl kill some one because she felt bored with them? then i still have hopes on the mysterious girl and mc's sister. and i liked the lawyer lady so mush, at least she seems more level-headed than mc at this point.

I think many are psychopats and/or sociopaths, but that was part of the point of their characters. Others (Patricia the guard comes to mind) were obviously affected by their upbringing and early life and led into a dog's-world vision of reality (a testimony to how bad the outside circumstances are). Their diminished empathy clearly reflects this world's condition. I understand from your overblown comment that you don't like that, and it's OK if you don't -- not everybody has to enjoy such characters. But I don't find them poorly written, at least not so far.

"How can you get off to that" is a question I would love to get $.05 for every repetition of. Believe me, it is possible -- oh! you have no idea how possible it is! -- to get off while "watching a confused teen aged girl kill some one because she felt bored with them." If you don't, again, that's OK, but please... don't look surprised at other people's tastes. Makes you seem childish.

 

[TundraLupus]

asehpe You have a truckload of patience, and I commend you for it.

 

[fzaner]

I understand from your overblown comment that you don't like that

overblown comment eh ?..

don't look surprised at other people's tastes. Makes you seem childish.


i think u forgot the important part that i said as a sub " watching a confused teen..." but you know what ? yeah watching some one died just like that and considering it a sexual thingy is just so hardcore for me to call it a "taste" or ever consider it a fetish.just btw, that was a femdom scene where the girl was fully naked with her slaves. i understand that must be a part of the plot and i didn't say it is bad written, at least i can't complain about that seeing how my engrish is good. so yeah i am still childish, i might need more 800 years to grow up so i can get off on gore/death porn. my main fetish to call it is "female domination" i love this fetish, but as a sub i just can't die like that with a silly reason such as the scene on the boat, and for me that was a childish way to die indeed, even subs have standards.

 

[TundraLupus]

overblown comment eh ?..

don't look surprised at other people's tastes. Makes you seem childish.


i think u forgot the important part that i said as a sub " watching a confused teen..." but you know what ? yeah watching some one died just like that and considering it a sexual thingy is just so hardcore for me to call it a "taste" or ever consider it a fetish.just btw, that was a femdom scene where the girl was fully naked with her slaves. i understand that must be a part of the plot and i didn't say it is bad written, at least i can't complain about that seeing how my engrish is good. so yeah i am still childish, i might need more 800 years to grow up so i can get off on gore/death porn. my main fetish to call it is "female domination" i love this fetish, but as a sub i just can't die like that with a silly reason such as the scene on the boat, and for me that was a childish way to die indeed, even subs have standards.

I don't think that is what they meant, i think they meant that it sounds childish as in "You don't demonstrate to have experienced enough of the world to have heard about people that do get off to gore/death/vore", and not because you didn't like it. But I do agree that it was unnecessary.

 

[TessSadist]

I would ask for some reasonable restraint on commenting on specific other people (versus discussion of their points which is totally ok) and also please try and have respect for people having different fetishes as well. I certainly don't mind criticism of the actual game itself as maybe I can improve in the future and I'm not wired that way as a sensitive person. I take everything into account, and have made some changes based on feedback already. (some examples being I took our flashes from 0.1 that bothered a few people, added a text box version for contrast sensitivity, and changed four scenes from 0.1/0.2 based on trusted feedback, etc.)

I just have a few comments real quick:

1) Regarding the neck break, that's actually a legit critique and I did think about that while writing it and whether I should have made it last longer. But in the end I felt that 99% of the audience would not really care and frankly you take say Star Wars and you hear every explosion, laser, and so forth in the middle of a vacuum in outer space and most people know for a fact that is nonsense but it flows well with the story and makes it more enjoyable so they just suspend their disbelief. I also figure if I killed him by say having Kiyomi step on his neck or suffocate him (the other options I considered) or frankly any method without perfect realism, then I could have had the same problems and/or with any other killing method from anyone with that personal knowledge all the way to say a professional CIA/NSA/NRO "wetworks" operative that could point out all my lack of realism there in precise detail. At some point, I can't worry about every scene that way to that level of realism. Mostly, I was trying to establish her character and Seth's current location/situation (and even her initial reaction to him as they definitely interact again later) as she's more important later in the plot and I really didn't feel extra violence would add to my goal for that scene. (no sexual goal at all with that scene -- at least for me)

2) The boat scene was definitely not intended to be sexual, but rather to establish the callous nature of one of the characters (also to show the nature of absolute power and the value of human life within that context, a lesson all too real in the actual world and our own history over and over) and to foreshadow many other facets of her personality down the road. It is by very strategic design she is actually the way she is on the outside, but I have laced at least 5-6 lines from her already that belie deeper things about her. It's also foolish to take her as she is, and Dominique herself has clearly stated Juliette is not the one she fears the most. I'm much more worried about setting up the narrative threads of the plot right now rather than purely sexual scenes. I am comfortable that down the road when tracks split much more cleanly, I will be able to really narrow focus for different things that way.

3) I'll be pretty up front about this too: there are a few characters that are much more in line with softer femdom for sure that become more apparent if you go that direction, but the world itself is full of potential for great good and evil. That necessitates some level of extreme behavior in both scales so to speak because that conflict in this kind of environment is what interests me and I think a story is better with some element of real danger (yes all three main characters can in fact possibly die in this game later with endings) so yeah, it's not a parade of sexual scenes over and over. I really wanted a story with the potential for incredible courage, bravery, and good from the main character(s)...but also the opposite as well. Luckily, there are plenty of games out there that are sex scenes one after another, and I enjoy a lot of them too!

4) The plot after 0.4 will absolutely split into much more defined tracks which will make updates much bigger but likely a little slower (I am assuming I upgrade my computer at this point, which helps offset my current potato but I don't know yet) but that is all I really want to say on that for now. Some little tiny details from even as far back as 0.1 (in fact, I worry I gave away a massive spoiler with just one render in 0.1 already) actually may make more sense when further revelations are shown later in the story.

Anyway, just take it easy and enjoy what you enjoy! I enjoy writing the current story, so that's what I'm doing. Be loving and accepting of all!

 

[asehpe]

overblown comment eh ?..

Yes.

don't look surprised at other people's tastes. Makes you seem childish.

It is good advice.

i think u forgot the important part that i said as a sub " watching a confused teen..." but you know what ? yeah watching some one died just like that and considering it a sexual thingy is just so hardcore for me to call it a "taste" or ever consider it a fetish.just btw, that was a femdom scene where the girl was fully naked with her slaves. i understand that must be a part of the plot and i didn't say it is bad written, at least i can't complain about that seeing how my engrish is good. so yeah i am still childish, i might need more 800 years to grow up so i can get off on gore/death porn. my main fetish to call it is "female domination" i love this fetish, but as a sub i just can't die like that with a silly reason such as the scene on the boat, and for me that was a childish way to die indeed, even subs have standards.

I meant it as a SUB -- did you think I am not? Some people are even surprised and appalled at the fact that subs want any kind of "domination" performed on them at all -- why would you give up agency and want to be treated as less than what you are? -- and "just don't get it." It doesn't follow from that that being a sub isn't a lot of fun. It is; just ask any sub, "soft" or "harcore." What it means is the obvious tautology that those who don't get it, well, don't get it.

And don't be offended. If extreme violence is too hardcore for you, if guro/gore and death porn is just too much -- there is NOTHING wrong with that feeling. It's just when you implicitly assume that those who enjoy these things (and those who write fiction with these themes) are naturally "wrong" or "bad" that I feel like sighing and think "oh no, that again!..." 800 years won't change your taste, and I was already interested in this kind of thing ages ago, when I was 13, 14. I compare it to a taste simply because it doesn't need to have moral consequences. Believe it or not, it is NOT morally wrong to enjoy extremely, horribly, disgustingly violent porn that includes dismemberment, extreme pain, physical and psychological torture and utter destruction etc. -- even when you like to see yourself as the object of the violence, as a sub like me would. It is fascinating to think about WHY it is so ("where does evil really come from?" says a teacher I once had and admire to this day), but it is so. If you can't believe, and won't take my word, that people who enjoy these things are not necessarily going to be robotic serial killers... then there isn't much I can do, except tell you that you're wrong.

I don't want to die either. But I do like to imagine myself in situations in which an evil woman could trivially kill me just because she feels like it, and the more pain and brutality she employs in the process, the better. And yet I repeat: I don't really want to die. If you don't get it, then you don't get it -- I can try to explain it and make comparisons that might make sense to you if you're interested (DM me in this case -- this is not the right thread to discuss the psychology of BDSM), but if you ultimately don't get it, OK. Then you don't get this kind of female domination. You prefer other, softer kinds. That's fine! I like soft femdom too! Enjoy what you enjoy, but please... don't go around judging me because of what I enjoy. It's silly.

I don't mind your Engrish. Nobody "has" to speak a foreign language like a native -- I should know, I have studied a number of them, and making mistakes is just a part of the process. (My wife is Russian, so we have spoken mostly Russian at home for many years; yet I still make mistakes, often funny ones, much to her amusement.) You learn from them. It's not your mistakes, but your attitude, that makes me roll my eyes.

 

[asehpe]

I would ask for some reasonable restraint on commenting on specific other people (versus discussion of their points which is totally ok) and also please try and have respect for people having different fetishes as well.

Indeed. And I say again, if fzaner feels offended by what I wrote, I apologize. That was not my intention.

1) Regarding the neck break, that's actually a legit critique and I did think about that while writing it and whether I should have made it last longer. But in the end I felt that 99% of the audience would not really care

Yes, this is what I tried to say. It is good to strive for realism, even if only as a perk for the cognoscenti or the hardcore nerds, but it is not the main point of fiction, it is just an added plus.

I will agree that a point to be kept in mind for "realism" when you're in the mood for it is that certain areas of the body are surprisingly strong, stronger than the pain they can cause would make us believe (genitals being a case in point: people are often surprised at how far CBT can go without actually causing permanent damange, though I'm told one should always research it before trying it IRL). As far as necks go, I once had some experience actually killing chickens by twisting their necks; it can be surprisingly fast and easy IF you follow the instructions precisely, but if you make any little mistake you will be surprised by how hard it becomes; and a chicken's neck is much more fragile than a human being's.

I really wanted a story with the potential for incredible courage, bravery, and good from the main character(s)...but also the opposite as well. Luckily, there are plenty of games out there that are sex scenes one after another, and I enjoy a lot of them too!

And the fact that this goal is so evident in the story is part of what makes it so rewarding so far. I also like Femdom Hotel just as much as the next guy or gal, but I AM a sucker for well-constructed worlds and storylines that are actually intriguing, and that would remain so even if there was no sexual content at all. I am interested, though, in how being a sub/dom interacts with the potential for bravery -- one would at first imagine (by what the game says so far, e.g. via characters like Patricia in her sex scene with the MC in Chap. 2) that subs here are forced by the structure of the world to social impotence and thus to no bravery, but I'm hoping that this will not be the case, and in an interesting, unexpected way. I keep my fingers crossed!

(in fact, I worry I gave away a massive spoiler with just one render in 0.1 already)

Considering that I can't think which render you're referring to here (can anyone else here?), I think you're pretty safe. I'm sure this spoiler will only become obvious in retrospect. Call it "foreshadowing"!

Anyway, just take it easy and enjoy what you enjoy! I enjoy writing the current story, so that's what I'm doing. Be loving and accepting of all!

Roger that.

 

[kameohawk]

Spoiler: ahegao

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Most of the renders and models are sort of decent, except for what I presume to be the MC. That dude needs to be on screen as little as possible.

The look of a man who's just been told he's won the lottery, but has only 2 days left to live.

 

[Simon66666]

Man I just finished the game and I just want to go back and play again

 

[Le Mat]

Thanks!

EDIT: Now there is a problem I don't understand. Even though the file is labeled as .mp3, when I copy it out of the folder and try to play it with any mp3-capable app (including even Windows Media Player), all I get is an error message. VLC immediately stops. Audacity tells me to import it raw, and all I get by doing this is noise. Could it be that the actual format of the file is not .mp3, despite the extension? Do you people know how music files are handled in Renpy?

Have you tried 'WINAMP' to play it ? This is what I use for most of the pieces of music that I extract from games in order to play them again outside of the actual games, for mood and personal critter comforts. I regard it as the best free software for music and AudioBooks, by far.

 

[asehpe]

Man I just finished the game and I just want to go back and play again

You can do it. Just follow a different path!

 

[asehpe]

Have you tried 'WINAMP' to play it ? This is what I use for most of the pieces of music that I extract from games in order to play them again outside of the actual games, for mood and personal critter comforts. I regard it as the best free software for music and AudioBooks, by far.

Actually, what I've done is use Audacity to recapture the recording as it plays in the game (you reroute input from MME to WINAPI and from Microphone to Speaker, then you record as the sound plays). The result, though resampled, is adequate, I think. So you've had the same problem -- an .mp3 file inside a game folder that just won't play in any of your .mp3 apps?