- Nov 27, 2019
- 367
- 879
The game has already inner thoughts on both sides and they are placed very well. Love them.Well if there is a critique I would have concerning dialogue, it's that some things which were said out loud, sounded more like stuff people would just think to themselves. Maybe incorporate some more inner dialogue? Probably an easier and more natural way to explain the motivation of characters and also include more narrative exposition without sounding out of place.
I totally like it in general on both sides. When the MC has some plans build up in his mind how to overcome the situation and they get crushed by those evil chicks. In this game also easy and interesting to have those inner thoughts of the female second character, too.
On the other hand, although I also really love to read the minds of all the women, when they plan on how to fuck up the MC and how they like their position of power, it might be not appropriate for this game to use them to fully describe their plans and backstory in length. It seems one of the strength of the scenario in this game is that the reader is curious about what the fuck is going on behind the curtain. So you could only chose it very rarely and not with the intention to push the plot. Exactly as done before.
The author seems to have quite some professional knowledge about writing, hence I assume that all these discussions here are merely beginner thoughts from the perspective of the author. I'm fully convinced that we will see every available instrument of a story writer used in a totally elaborated way within this game, including all inner dialogs.