I personally have absolutely zero experience with BDSM, but there are elements that I find intriguing. One of the more fascinating aspects is just how much of it comes down to a negotiated contract. It may seem counterintuitive, but the person that is most in control of any given scene is the submissive, rather than the dominant. Assuming both parties are actually competent in their roles. Not only does the submissive have their safeword, but they have a lot more control of the scene than most people imagine.
When it comes to pain, as an example, no more is exerted than what the receiving party actually enjoy. A competent dominant can find their submissive's limits without ever going over it. And it's not just the submissive that can set limits, both parties do. and then there's hard and soft limits; things you are absolutely against, and things you maybe are willing to try.
But the various kinks that fit within BDSM is like all other kinks; what one person finds extemely arousing, might cause revulsion in another.
Personally, so long as you're not claiming "kink bad because moral highground", I can respect any stance on any kink.
