Wouw dude, or dudette, took me a while here to process what just happened to me. Or just happened... what's been happening over the past couple of hours. I rarely comment on anything let alone on adult content, but I feel compelled to... something. I don't even know what....
You see I started out with that "Yeah, come on, let's get it ooon!!!!" multiplayer mood, a glennfiddich, some eed (the W and SP kind) and I was ready to draw some tears from some kids in COD or something. Then, my aiming skills being that awesome, clicked an icon 2 icons over from the COD icon.... I started lady in blue. Had no idea I had that installed and no recollection of ever even reading about it. Yet there it was, starting right up.
Then the music kind of immediately started doing a number on me. i don't know what my mood was but it sure ain't shooting kids online mood no more.
And now after a good long playthrough (almost through) part of me feels like I've been dragged, tied on a rope, through a pit of broken glass, sand, seawater, and sauerkraut. Odd thing is that this feeling is not from playing the game. It's from the memories the game took me to, the depression I've dealt with for a long time (in hindsight), and the misery that has been pored over me and my life for the past 15 years. Another part of me though feels like it's found something I didn't even know was missing. What that was, why it was missing or being missed, and who was involved have yet to be revealed.
And there's one clear epiphany-like realization that resonates within me right now. An understanding I've not yet realized before, despite it being so fucking obvious!
It is okay to be depressed. In fact, had I not been depressed it would be unnatural, unhealthy, and just freaking weird. So I don't need to wonder if anyone notices my depression. I should give a shit about who notices! That's not what depression is for.
It's for quantifying, accepting, and processing bad experiences and memories, acknowledging they're not good moments and seeing those bad moments in relation to the time when they happened and finally giving them a place as part of your life in the "Lessons learned" department.
I have you to thank for that Seargeant. *salutes*
Thanks for creating this game!
Still, it was a good game, I enjoyed it, even if it was sad and depressing at times. Hope the dev is alright, where ever he is.
