- Sep 5, 2020
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It's the exact moment he realizes that what he has with Sekai isn't special to her. It's just sex. She was using him.I was quite impressed during that part as well; I was fully anticipating some dumb stuff like "To your right, kkkkkkkkkkkkkk", but what we got was even more screwed up (or maybe this part of the memory is the meaning of what kkkkkkkkk means?). Also, after going through the event again, the entire scene of Sensei having sex with long Maya seems to unnervingly resemble his past "interaction" with Sekai (a taller female with a Sensei that behaves like a child).I also find tall Maya quite attractive TBH and understand that I need help lol.
But yes, after this scene, it's probably true that Sensei had some level of love toward Sekai despite how much manipulation there might be. I think this part of memory even took place AFTER Sensei started having sex with Sekai, suggested by But it is not your headboard that clack-clacks today (so sometimes it is yours that clacks?).
It's the moment he starts to view sex partners as verbal onaholes.
It's the moment he transforms from prey to predator, because the only way to numb the pain he's feeling is to feel nothing at all.
The way he describes the memories of Sekai that he does have illustrates that he still has a somewhat idealized vision of her from their time together. The way he remembers the smell of her hair when Ami uses the same kind of shampoo, for example, drives this home. But this recontextualizes all of that. It's bittersweet for him, because it was all in his head. She never loved him, she just used him.