I mean, Maya has always been closest to what Akira wants. She (did) understands him better than anyone, and wouldn't punish him for it. Her love for him was unconditional - since she already knew everything, Akira wouldn't have that eternal fear of "messing it up and destroying his relationships" with anyone. He quite literally could do anything, and Maya would still love him. She was someone who accepted him for who he was - a child-molesting pedophile. And now that he lost his safe-space, the person he could always turn to no matter how he fucked up, he's scared and lost.Am I the only one that feels so out of place lately with this whole Maya thing?
As someone that isn't the biggest fan of Maya, it feels weird how Sensei is just so broken now, and how I am absolutely not emotionally impacted at all by her dissapareance, like I don't care that much?
It feels like this "potent" love for her appeared out of nowhere and it doesn't make sense to me. Like you knew he was always interested in her more than the others, but there was never something so deep that he would break mentally the way he did.
It feels weird that I used to be able to understand what Sensei is doing and thinking, and now I feel a total disconnect with the character. I used to understand his views and motives (understand is not the same as agreeing with them), and always wanted to see how else he would fuck up and if he would try to improve. I wanted to see how deep the rabbit hole goes.
He always did what I wanted him to do. Build relations... be a horrible human being... slowly redeem himself... remember his past and understand the truth of his world... "COLLECT"...
Now he is different, I know why he is different, and it doesn't make a damned sense to me.
...
...
I don't like this Akira anymore.
Now, do you call this love? Idk, but at least to me it certainly doesn't seem very good for Akira if he ever wants to be more than just a monster.