VN Ren'Py Abandoned Life is Hard [v0.3.6.2] [MarshmelloGames]

3.00 star(s) 3 Votes
Discussion Reviews (3)
iiZombie

iiZombie

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Game Developer
Jan 11, 2019
141
284
yihman1 said:
I just checked this game out version 0.0.1, and here are my thoughts so far.

The Good:

The renders are nice in terms of models and poses.

The story has been told before, but it is a good story to tell. Corruption based female protagonist.

The fact that you have choices / can reject advances is nice.

The Bad:

The opening line, "Don't forget to support us on Patreon to keep us going" is not the best opening line to use... Gives that feeling of, "If we don't immediately start making good money we are going to abandon this." feeling. A better line would have been something like "If you enjoyed our demo please consider supporting us on Patreon.", and it's better to put such a thing back end not front end. Better as the last line instead of a first line.

Needs incest patches (possibly rape patches too judging by where this story seems to be going) if you are to continue on patreon.

I think it is a mistake to release a game this early. It's like serving people undercooked food. There is a couple of minutes worth of gameplay, and 20 renders. My yet to be released new game is significantly longer and not close to being released.

The Engrish is strong in this one. It's clear that it is written by a non-native English speaker.

The Renders often times have grain on them and need to be retouched with GIMP or Photoshop. Also, I noticed some lighting changes in between renders on the same scene.

The wrong transitions are used sometimes I think. It's always a "fade" sometimes a "dissolve" would be better used when shifting from two images in the same scene, but fading from 1 scene to next is fine.

The pacing feels... "Off" for lack of a better term. Perhaps this is due to a lack of any character development. After the patreon statement here is the first line of dialogue:

"Gosh, What should I do? He died a month ago who was spending money on us"
"There is no time for sad"

This makes the character come off as cold / money hungry. The Engrish makes it even worse. Better written would sound something like (which is just me off the cuff writing her dialogue).

"Has it really been a month? It feels like only yesterday since his heart attack. Now he is gone forever. I miss my husband so much."
"I have to be strong for my children's sake, they are suffering too. I don't want them to pity me. I need to be strong for them like their father was. It would make me even more depressed if they saw me crying. I can't just mope around all day anymore like I have been doing. I have to take action and be strong. The bills are not going to pay themself."

Characters need to be written with passion and feelings, and not like robots on a mission.

Also, something seems illogical in the story so far. Apparently, they are "New to the neighborhood", but the husband just died a month ago, and she doesn't have a job yet. I would presume they are still living at the "old house" where he lived with them as she has not started work yet. So a better opener would be to start at some fancy pants mansion, then showing them having to sell off some stuff at an auction maybe... toss ina moving van to the more modest home... The downgrade, if it happened, is not yet shown (only loosely implied), and if it didn't happen it doesn't make sense for them to have just moved.
Click to expand...
You are the best :)
 
Mormont

Mormont

Devoted Member
Nov 30, 2018
11,925
53,085
Interesting I took great pleasure in turning down that neighbour especially with a line like that :LOL: and I have to agree with what was said about the renders looking a little dark apart from that this looks pretty good so far and I'm certainly looking forward to some Lesbian content. Good Luck with this. (y)
 
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Theboss3213

Theboss3213

Member
Jun 14, 2018
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831
Alway's like these kind of game's. Playing as a mother turning into a slut etc. Obviously the writing suck's but that's easy to fix. Keeping a close eye on this, for the sexy scene's that might come soon. Good luck!
 
B

Badtanker63

Newbie
Apr 14, 2019
32
15
Refreshing having a woman as the MC. I take it English isn't your native language because of the sentence structure and misspelled words. Most games have a teenage boy who is lost for what ever reason and needs his family to do what ever too.
 
iiZombie

iiZombie

Member
Game Developer
Jan 11, 2019
141
284
Jarljotun said:
Lesbian incest - more the better. Im sick of all the games with son/daddy fucking mom/daughter. Mom/daughter is like good whisky. Please make sex with małe avoidible.
Click to expand...
Yup it will and for sure sex with male is avoidable
We are currently working on :
Fixing the language
Fixing the renders
Preparing for XMAS Episode
Preparing for the rest of the first episode
 
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BaasB

BaasB

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Respected User
Aug 5, 2018
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Just one quest....can you let her have sex with her son? in the next update not 9 months from now


Any Road Map Planned?
 
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3.00 star(s) 3 Votes