Well, there is
this one from way back, and I even have this blank template (attached to this message) that we used to have a little competition on who could come up with the funniest text. We could just have some creative fun with it.
It's an excellent suggestion, but that's already in place; it says "Also, time between updates is long, but updates are huge. Don't complain about this.", so that can be referred to. I don't think there's any unclarity on that front with the moderators though, they will clear reported post out on that ground as soon as they can get 'round to it.
And the "free stuff is milking" crowd is clearly evenly divided between tinfoil-hat unhinged and gleefully trolling, no amount of rules or reasoning will stop those adorable little rascals. But the ignore button and report buttons are very effective, let them howl at the moon in solitude.