onenf

Newbie
Aug 26, 2016
57
35
Really good story! Looking forward to many more episodes.
I read through the text in all six episodes and made basic grammar edits. Hope it is useful Dimitri57
See attached [LongRoadHome 0.6.0 edited text.zip]
 

Dimitri57

Oldest Dev on F95
Donor
Game Developer
Dec 12, 2017
1,408
6,428
Really good story! Looking forward to many more episodes.
I read through the text in all six episodes and made basic grammar edits. Hope it is useful Dimitri57
See attached [LongRoadHome 0.6.0 edited text.zip]
Thanks onenf I'll look them over when I have time to compare them to my episode scripts. No offense, but I'm not going to plug them in not knowing what you changed or perceive to be grammatical errors.

I've mentioned it before that some of the slang, common sayings and phrases that I use is to have the characters speak the way people actually talk rather than be perfect grammatically. This seems to bug people that English isn't their first language since they likely learned proper text book English. To me, the dialog comes off robotic and stiff when written in perfect English.
That being said, my grammar and spelling suck. I use a spell check and grammar program. I didn't on the early scripts. I've corrected typos and grammar that folks have pointed out to me numerous times.
 

HIngl

Newbie
Jun 23, 2021
16
14
Thanks onenf I'll look them over when I have time to compare them to my episode scripts. No offense, but I'm not going to plug them in not knowing what you changed or perceive to be grammatical errors.

I've mentioned it before that some of the slang, common sayings and phrases that I use is to have the characters speak the way people actually talk rather than be perfect grammatically. This seems to bug people that English isn't their first language since they likely learned proper text book English. To me, the dialog comes off robotic and stiff when written in perfect English.
That being said, my grammar and spelling suck. I use a spell check and grammar program. I didn't on the early scripts. I've corrected typos and grammar that folks have pointed out to me numerous times.
When's the next update coming brother
 

Dimitri57

Oldest Dev on F95
Donor
Game Developer
Dec 12, 2017
1,408
6,428
is there any update on this month? hardly to seeing this story could have every months update
Look two comments up to get your answer...

I'm not a gaming studio. I'm one person. I've never promised my Patreons monthly updates like the larger fully staffed games do. I don't like putting out micro updates, so it is what it is.
 
4.30 star(s) 135 Votes