I've blocked the person you are responding to so I can't see BUT I think you are partially right.
Check out my red bench theory. I think the bra colors matter.
White bra - loving intimate sex
Red bra- masochistic sex with her favorite monster
Black bra - drug addict, party girl, everyone's sex toy
Note what she is saying in the fisting scene - she thinks of those three as different women living inside of her. And we actually hear white bra and black bra Lacey fighting each other
Why was sadistic-masochistic sex the best sex she had since the wedding night? Because that was white bra Lacey's big night. This was red bra Lacey's big night
You know the text very well - why does the MC think it's hard to do red bra night without the bra? Theory: he also needs to change personas to deal. Brown suit MC had to give red bra Lacey what she needed. And that is the job of red leather pants MC.
Second question for you - when Lacey is out drunk all night and texts him time and time again but he never receives them where did those texts go? Who got them. This is an informational question.
So it is a common this for traumatized people or even with couples that work on their intimacy to give "non verbal signals".
You dress in a specific way, so that you do not have to explain, it is an agreed code of sort that allows and helps the partner to understand your needs.
It is done also in the opposite: dress in a specific way to communicate that any intimacy is off the table, to avoid refusing your partner, which is often painful for both parties.
Maybe you are right on the whole allegory of colours, but since it is a theory I do not go along with it until it is confirmed.
as for your questions:
You know the text very well - why does the MC think it's hard to do red bra night without the bra?
MC doesn't think it is hardER per se, but red bra is very ritualistic, Mc in other occasions such as punish path wants to "compartmentalize" (sp?) their sessions.
Red bras are HARD for MC, he spent his whole life trying to not hurt Lacey and now he has to do to just that, he will do anything for her (both healthy and unhealthy things due to his trauma but this one comes from love) so he forces himself to do it.
Remember red bra in act 2 with the cockknocker 250? (in punish path we might get the 500!) He is absolutely disgusted for reasons, he will still complete his task, because that is what Lacey needs.
So, in synthesys, MC is surprised that their ritual is broken, and if it is broken it means it is a clear emergency, as he has also seen just before with the OS flaring up.
Oh and you might be right, MC needs to act his role, or "persona" as you mention.
Second question for you - when Lacey is out drunk all night and texts him time and time again but he never receives them where did those texts go? Who got them. This is an informational question.
If you mean the texts when Lacey is at the Brimley party and dances with Will, she sends the texts to Mia instead of MC (they both start with an M so it is an honest mistake

), Mia then proceeds to insult Lacey (either because she is angry and is preparing her devious plan in act 2 or because that is how they talk to each other regularly).
What never sat well with me is why Lacey actually goes to the party, as she asks MC to be home so they can talk properly about some important things.