RammingRam
New Member
- Dec 4, 2022
- 6
- 9
The feeling I got from it is the realization hit late because it's his first encounter with them and he's probably thinking of other things in that situation. I wouldn't actually know how it was written so that's just my interpretation. Tbh, I don't really remember the earlier parts that well anymore. I just don't remember it being that kind of weird. I remember that the pacing is kind of off during that part, but like I mentioned, the earlier parts could be better.Why did you (as the reader) think that they were mentioning checking their eyes in the first place? Isnt it mentioned in game that the eyes are how lune are identified? Either way the larger issue is that in the span of a few seconds despite nothing changing the MC suddenly goes from "i have no feelings about these bank robbers trying to check my eyes" to "oh shit these bank robbers asking to check my eyes must be looking for a lune!" why did he not react like that the first time?
Maybe the overall story is better but a lot of the moment to moment stuff is nothing special and the stuff that goes "beyond" the average porn game story tends to not hold up to scruitny