Ren'Py Completed Lust Academy [S4 v4.10.2a DLCs] [Bear in the Night]

[Forgotted]

It was interesting trying to get up w Penny in Dale.

It said to meet her at the Cafe, however, there isn't a cafe so that was unique.
It would be nice if that wording were changed a bit.

I had to speak w Ahchi at the coffe shop several times before being able to ask
about Penny. I had to explain to him 2 or 3 times that I was just back from winter break.

I ended up going several weekends before figuring out some of this partly
because the game keeps telling me there is no more content for Penny.
It also was telling me there was no content with Ahchi.


So, anywho...back to the story! lol

 

[antonio1508]

some new stuff including Willow recently ?

 

[HiP1]

It was interesting trying to get up w Penny in Dale.

It said to meet her at the Cafe, however, there isn't a cafe so that was unique.
It would be nice if that wording were changed a bit.

I had to speak w Ahchi at the coffe shop several times before being able to ask
about Penny. I had to explain to him 2 or 3 times that I was just back from winter break.

I ended up going several weekends before figuring out some of this partly
because the game keeps telling me there is no more content for Penny.
It also was telling me there was no content with Ahchi.


So, anywho...back to the story! lol

the café is the coffee shop, i think.

 

[HiP1]

Yeah, feel free to tag me once you played S3
We know about some issues in S2 and S1 and hope we doing better in S3

you need to work a ton on the actual quality of the phrasing itself. the English in the game is really bad. it's immersion breaking, especially in season 1, almost gave up mid way. it improved a little bit in season 2, but barely in season 3. it takes away a lot from the game. and it's a pity because the game itself is really ok. story and characters could use more depth and more focus instead of adding more characters that will stay superficial.
also, in season 1 and 2, the founders play a big part, but now that MC is linked to them all, they barely make any screentime in season 3, it's weird. they should be even more consulted or active (and i say that even though i don't really like them)

 

[-CookieMonster666-]

some new stuff including Willow recently ?

I think there was one scene only, and it was actually a part of a different girl's progress in the tracker. There's not even a kiss in the scene, so don't get too excited.

 

[Forgotted]

Yup. Sorry, I wasn't complaining in #8150
just noting things....since you're probably bored between releases! lol

Also, I honestly forgot I was still in Season 2...lol.... just putting along....



Thanks everyone!
Cheers

Where is the Dev group from?

 

[-CookieMonster666-]

It said to meet her at the Cafe, however, there isn't a cafe so that was unique.
It would be nice if that wording were changed a bit.

I had to speak w Ahchi at the coffe shop several times before being able to ask
about Penny.

At least in America, coffee shop is very often used interchangeably with café. While there are some differences, generally the only real notable ones are that typically cafés include more substantial food (even meals sometimes), while coffee shops focus on coffee or tea and include only small confectionaries (like muffins or scones). I'm sure it's different in other parts of the world, but when someone says "coffee shop" and someone else says "café" — and there's only one place in town really that specializes in serving coffee — it's assumed in the United States that they both are talking about the same place. An American being very particular about the distinction is often seen as more of an elitist / snobby type, making distinctions that are mostly unimportant.

 

[Forgotted]

At least in America, coffee shop is very often used interchangeably with café. While there are some differences, generally the only real notable ones are that typically cafés include more substantial food (even meals sometimes), while coffee shops focus on coffee or tea and include only small confectionaries (like muffins or scones). I'm sure it's different in other parts of the world, but when someone says "coffee shop" and someone else says "café" — and there's only one place in town really that specializes in serving coffee — it's assumed in the United States that they both are talking about the same place. An American being very particular about the distinction is often seen as more of an elitist / snobby type, making distinctions that are mostly unimportant.

Ineresting you think like that.

Down here where I live, however, there aren't any coffee shops but several cafe's. Vera's and Midway are in the next couple of towns over. If you want to go to a 'coffee' shop you will have to drive to the city which is a couple hours or more depending on which direction you go. The cafe's around here serve the best southern food I've ever had, fried chicken and chicken fried steaks being up there on my list without the collards... In the mornings you can get some killer SoS. Most of these joints are family owned and have been around forever and a day.
One popular thing is still fried chicken and waffles...Yuck.... But otherwise, just good ole greasy spoons! and mostly still called cafe's

Anywho..
Cheers

 

[-CookieMonster666-]

Ineresting you think like that.

Down here where I live, however, there aren't any coffee shops but several cafe's. Vera's and Midway are in the next couple of towns over. If you want to go to a 'coffee' shop you will have to drive to the city which is a couple hours or more depending on which direction you go. The cafe's around here serve the best southern food I've ever had, fried chicken and chicken fried steaks being up there on my list without the collards... In the mornings you can get some killer SoS. Most of these joints are family owned and have been around forever and a day.
One popular thing is still fried chicken and waffles...Yuck.... But otherwise, just good ole greasy spoons! and mostly still called cafe's

Anywho..
Cheers

It's not just me who thinks like that. You can search online and find several articles saying that the words are very often used interchangeably (but then also make distinctions between the two). I've also been to a large number of states in America, and I see very little distinction between the two, despite what some folks claim. Like I say, it's very common wherever I've been in America. Sure, some regions might vary to different degrees: the nation is a pretty sizable one, after all.

Your description only underscores what I was saying. Those places in your area are mostly all called cafés and you don't really have coffee shops there. That's fair enough. Still, if an out-of-towner asked about a "coffee shop", wouldn't you assume they meant "a place to get coffee" and so point them to a café? Or would you really reply with something like, "Well, we don't have any 'coffee shops'," and then act as if you can't help them at all even though there's a café nearby? You yourself were able to work out that the location what Ahchi's, so I see no problem with it as it is. As I said, if the response is in the vein of, "Well, technically...." — one of the least necessary things to say in reply — a person comes off as well-to-do, arrogant, or intentionally difficult.

It is what it is. It's why most people I've met use the terms interchangeably. They might only ever say "café" themselves, but when someone else says "coffee shop", they don't get hung up on technicalities. It's also why I disagree with you: the wording doesn't need to be changed at all IMO.

 

[Forgotted]

I honestly couldn't care less what they call it. I would prefer that they call it the same
thing throughout the story, or at least mix and match from the beginning. It's a coffee shop
through the story then suddenly it's a cafe in the hints/quest section. I'm not sure, but I think
it's been call a coffee shop every time since. I may have missed it since then if they called it a cafe again.
I also don't really care that much. I was just mentioning it for them in case they had forgotten about fixing
it. There are so many problems with the writing though, spelling/grammer, I doubt the cafe thing is on their
todo list. They are bringing in a lot of money now and could probably afford an editor. But again...not a big
deal their game but would be nice.

I've finally almost caught up and am in the third release now. They are doing much better but there are still
some really weird phrases and such.

Are you the primary developer or do you work on it somewhere else, like graphics?
Wish I could do graphics stuff...

Cheers

 

[-CookieMonster666-]

I honestly couldn't care less what they call it. I would prefer that they call it the same
thing throughout the story, or at least mix and match from the beginning. It's a coffee shop
through the story then suddenly it's a cafe in the hints/quest section. I'm not sure, but I think
it's been call a coffee shop every time since. I may have missed it since then if they called it a cafe again.
I also don't really care that much. I was just mentioning it for them in case they had forgotten about fixing
it. There are so many problems with the writing though, spelling/grammer, I doubt the cafe thing is on their
todo list. They are bringing in a lot of money now and could probably afford an editor. But again...not a big
deal their game but would be nice.

I've finally almost caught up and am in the third release now. They are doing much better but there are still
some really weird phrases and such.

Are you the primary developer or do you work on it somewhere else, like graphics?
Wish I could do graphics stuff...

Cheers

If you're asking me, I am not associated with the project at all, other than as a player of the game. I proofread for other projects, but this is not one of them. I do agree that the writing is somewhat better but still has very odd turns of phrase or even occasionally misused words. I feel like the writer(s) know English but it's definitely not their native language. So, without a native-speaker proofreading for them, mistakes are to be expected. (And no, I am not volunteering for the task: I have far too much on my plate right now to try to add more proofreading to it.)

 

[Bear in the Night]

you need to work a ton on the actual quality of the phrasing itself. the English in the game is really bad. it's immersion breaking, especially in season 1, almost gave up mid way. it improved a little bit in season 2, but barely in season 3. it takes away a lot from the game. and it's a pity because the game itself is really ok. story and characters could use more depth and more focus instead of adding more characters that will stay superficial.
also, in season 1 and 2, the founders play a big part, but now that MC is linked to them all, they barely make any screentime in season 3, it's weird. they should be even more consulted or active (and i say that even though i don't really like them)

Let's talk more about S3. We know about S1 and S2, but now we focus more on S3

Do you have some examples of "bad English" in S3?
It's much easier to understand the problem with some real examples, which we can send to our proofreaders, and I hope to fix this problem.

 

[HiP1]

Let's talk more about S3. We know about S1 and S2, but now we focus more on S3

Do you have some examples of "bad English" in S3?
It's much easier to understand the problem with some real examples, which we can send to our proofreaders, and I hope to fix this problem.

sure. once 3.9.1d is out and i play it, i'll provide some

 

[MarsUltor]

Let's talk more about S3. We know about S1 and S2, but now we focus more on S3

Do you have some examples of "bad English" in S3?
It's much easier to understand the problem with some real examples, which we can send to our proofreaders, and I hope to fix this problem.

Here's an example from the "Founders' Council" scene. This example contains a bit of "bad English" that would significantly benefit from revision, as well as "not typical conversational English" that would result in a smaller benefit from revision, but would contribute to overall improvement in the dialogue.

Spoiler: Example: Founders' Council

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I've encountered other dialogue in need of revision throughout S3, even other examples in the "Founders' Council" scene, but it takes time to identify and present them. The example I provided is certainly not the worst case, but just illustrates the issue. It's obviously a daunting task to address all of the needed dialogue revisions throughout S3 due to the sheer volume of dialogue, but I'll try to provide some other examples when I can.

 

[-CookieMonster666-]

Here's an example from the "Founders' Council" scene. This example contains a bit of "bad English" that would significantly benefit from revision, as well as "not typical conversational English" that would result in a smaller benefit from revision, but would contribute to overall improvement in the dialogue.

Spoiler: Example: Founders' Council

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I've encountered other dialogue in need of revision throughout S3, even other examples in the "Founders' Council" scene, but it takes time to identify and present them. The example I provided is certainly not the worst case, but just illustrates the issue. It's obviously a daunting task to address all of the needed dialogue revisions throughout S3 due to the sheer volume of dialogue, but I'll try to provide some other examples when I can.

Every editor feels differently in small ways here and there, so these are only my own two cents.

Spoiler

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Again, these are just my own view on what you've specifically given as an example.

 

[Forgotted]

What does Ghm mean?

It's in there a lot. Is it the same as mhm or mm-hmm?

Thanks
Cheers

 

[-CookieMonster666-]

What does Ghm mean?

It's in there a lot. Is it the same as mhm or mm-hmm?

Thanks
Cheers

I believe it's meant to be an onomatopoeia for one of two things: either someone is clearing their throat, or someone is swallowing a lump in their throat (like suddenly gulping).

 

[Forgotted]

I believe it's meant to be an onomatopoeia for one of two things: either someone is clearing their throat, or someone is swallowing a lump in their throat (like suddenly gulping).

Gotcha, thanks.

Also.... I swear Victoria's breasts seem larger or perkier in S3! lol
Go Vicky Go!

Cheers

 

[MarsUltor]

Every editor feels differently in small ways here and there, so these are only my own two cents.

Spoiler

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Again, these are just my own view on what you've specifically given as an example.

Honestly, I knew that the example I was giving wasn't the ideal example of dialogue in need of editing; it was mostly for illustration purposes. I should have chosen a better example.

While I stand by my revisions in my example, and believe that they would result in an improvement to that dialogue (albeit a somewhat minor one), I also agree that the relatively more minimal revisions you suggested would also result in an improvement to that dialogue.

Writing great dialogue is tricky for most people, and becomes even more difficult when it involves translation from the language in which it was originally written. Idioms that may be commonly used in conversation are especially tricky, since they may not have an equivalent in a different language.

Anyway, I'll continue to be on the lookout for better examples...

Peace

 

[Forgotted]

btw...

meetig
should be
meeting

youl
should be
you

I got the impression that all he cares about is showing off how cool he......and how great his school is.