Preface
Gonna give a bit of personal view on what made me start doing all this with editing comics. Yes I have a strong opinion on this, which is why I'm motivated to what I'm doing. If I didn't I wouldn't give a shit.
Also to be clear, I do not hate or despise VS's work. I'm a fan of it. I think it's great. But I do see how it, and the genre itself, could be better. If I don't point out what's wrong, you can't see how it can be even better - and to maybe inspire some of the content creators (either those who read these forums directly, or by world of mouth).
Lastly, despite this being a lot of text, this is not a rant. I'm a creative writer and text is important to me. If I read all this out loud, it would be like a 5 minute conversation. This is an opinion piece.
So here it is, if you the person reading this are so curious.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
There is this dialogue that takes place in SPS2 P5. Daphne and Lollipop are discussing their new living arrangement and Daphne refers to a previous video that we don't see where Lollipop was clearly enjoying herself with two men. It's the spit roasted comment.
That's pretty much what started me off with going in and editing comic works, because I was like..
how you gonna talk about that and not show it? That's a massive missed opportunity. I see this time and again and it is not exclusive to VS's work. Not even remotely.
As much as I enjoy the final page of SPS1, the leap from giving your first blowjob to suddenly being told you're going to have sex with your first man, no wait rather to full blown
actual gangbang one panel later... again... huge missed opportunity. Plus that was the first time Lollipop actually engages in sexual intercourse with a man anally. There's not even a build up in that sequence that would explain how he got there mentally or even physically. There's no 'easing into the role', or even the 'easing in of the pole' (
har har wink wink), if you get me with the sissy and becoming accepting of the role little by little.
Instead, it's just a robot-like response like they've been reprogrammed (like brainwashing, which again is common in these femdom transition comics). Occasionally we get their thoughts like "oh shit!" but nothing that actually conveys their view. We never see the mental transition take place with Lonnie/Lollipop specifically. Is Daphne slipping in mind control drugs, hormone blockers, or even estrogen with Lonnie's diet we don't know of? Maybe it's hypnosis? Why does Lonnie frequently have this drugged blank look on his face?
Is this common to sissys? I sincerely doubt it. So I don't get the 'fantasy' these creators trying to touch on to attract actual fans of the femdom fantasy. It all just reads like profoundly missed targeting. Like it's a side gig to make a quick buck. It's not a fans for fans situation I actually understand what you're into because to a degree so am I. Or I can kinda sorta relate or maybe I just know some people who are into this and actually talked to them about it.
So for Lonnie it is just wham bam I'm in a gangbang with 4 guys now ok yeah sure wutever I don't have a brain or opinion or even thought on it (
notice Lollipop lacks any response at all when Daphne conveys this information that Lollipop is momentarily going to be having sex with multiple men for the first time ever). Hell he/she doesn't even have a stupefied 'Gee wiz OK Mistress drp drp' comment to make.
I don't see anyone ever going from sucking a guys dick one time and riding their fem dom's strapon to suddenly being ok with a full blown sexual encounter - especially with 4 guys. I don't care how long they have been in a cage and dressed up, that's a huge leap! Plus there's just no build up to it. There's no hinting of inner conflict. That's the thing that I dislike about most of these comics. There is no internal conflict that is present, which exists in real people and is part of the allure of it all. The proverbial 'I want to but I shouldn't' aka the temptation of desire. Lust!
But the thought came to me, 'what would that look like?' if we saw the encounter Daphne is referring to? So I started building it out. And then I started thinking of 'what if Daphne was just referring to the
start of that video? And it actually ended up somewhere else entirely and went on a lot longer than she even planned because of Lollipop? Thus clearly signaling Lonnie's male persona being dominated by an asserting Lollipop persona. All this because of uncontrollable reflexive lust that the character wasn't aware of, or can control, that was first discovered back in SPS1. Where it was cultivated and allowed to grow until it comes to a huge mental shift with explosive results?
If you add in a more believable transition over the course of SPS1 with some inner conflict, some foreshadowing, then this conversation in SPS2 P5, with some slight changes, becomes monumental in the characters development. Then all the proceeding content and following need to lead up to and reflect this dynamic shift in their mentality and the dynamic of Lonnie/Lollipop and Daphne's relationship.
Then you can start tossing in subtext and plots and thicken the stew, because now you can even add to the Daphne character and what they are going thru as well. Oh boy! Then the comic builds more value, as it moves away from simply a race to get to the sub or sex scenes. It ultimately becomes... relatable. And in doing so all scenes become elevated. Toss in increased detail on the sex scenes as well... you got a beast of a comic.
TL;DR
So this shot here, is a reduced size and quality clip-out shot from one panel of a 10 panel page that takes place within the re-worked SPS2 P5 timeline. It's the video Daphne is referring to there, but that video was intended to be a quick 30 minute video, but because of Lollipop's sissy persona has now dominated Lonnie, it's about 2 hours later and the camera battery is about to run out. A massive mental shift has begun to take place, and during their conversation this evening reflecting on it, this primaily takes place in Lollipop/Lonnie's head, leading to a drastic change in the story from this point on.
The other thing I also decided to do, was attempt to inject some humor here and there. So the tone changes page by page, even panel by panel at times, tho it's a believable transition. And well some more descriptive wording on what is taking place and how the characters are feeling or the sounds they are making or thoughts bouncing around in their heads.
View attachment 1361357