claybox

New Member
Jun 28, 2018
1
5
The art is fantastic, but this game is in serious need of an editor. I don't know how much of it is a WIP, but the prose is so clunky and unnatural that it hurts the experience. A lot of the dialogue is unnecessarily wordy and redundant, and there's some weird mix of exposition and 4th wall breaking at times (the Netflix joke for instance.)

I bring up writing in an H-game because it's clear the devs are passionate about their project. They remade the intro scene, added some neat animations, and it's all neatly packaged in a great art style! But the writing is seriously ruining the experience. On top of that, why is there a forced delay for each sentence? It just makes the reading experience unbearable.

I understand the writer is not fluent in English, and that's fine, but the project will only benefit from having clean prose. I hope they get the financial resources to hire an editor because this game is really promising.
 

nonospot

Member
May 15, 2020
195
175
is it possible to make this game for android?
Just tried again on joiplay (lastest patreon version, go to their webpage) and everything work so far for v.0.1.1 (I compressed it).
I'll have to continue testing later as I have no batterie left and other things to do atm.
Hatchet Games even the duel works now if you use the virtual built-in arrow or use a controller.
I recommend swapping one of the virtual keys to H, so you can hide the text box when you want and lowering both text speed to at least 1/6 or you'll miss some, especially when there are cuts...
Hatchet Games I think you need to add some time on those and somehow put an indicator to when the player can actually click next.
I don't think it is a joiplay bug, as I have this behaviour only with your game, but since sometimes you use some pause in a dialog box, in between two sentences and sometimes not... We tend to click to get the next sentence and, instead of skipping the timer and show the whole dialog box, it skip the whole box to show the next so we need to rollback. It can be annoying on cuts, like the first "train noise", lilith/lulu banana interruption too, Céline enumeration as well ...
While I understand you want to make the dialog flow more dynamic, it may be better in a VN-like to let the reader choose his flow, even if it removes a bit of it.
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I'm quite impressed by the quality of the content so far and the original art style. It's also quite refreshing to run into a chuunibyou character after a while, now it only makes me want a easy going Gyaru to compete with xD.
 
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Giganah7

Newbie
Jan 16, 2019
16
17
The art is good but why is this guy's dick like, half a foot higher up on his body than it should be? Doesn't look right.
 
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zerodead

Engaged Member
Jan 18, 2018
2,208
2,057
Update V0-2-2
I did a quick translation to Portuguese, it is not a professional translation, and a simply amateur translation.

-------------------------------------------------- ------------
Atualização V0-2-2
Fiz uma tradução para o português, não e uma Tradução profissional, e uma tradução simplesmente amadora.

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Tradução com pouca revisão para versão V0.2.2

 
Last edited:
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jgbm

Newbie
Feb 7, 2018
16
22
Hatchet Games You somehow managed to add more characters and keep it extremely charming! I do miss some of the older segments of the original build (like learning to duel and doc's kiss) but I am a sucker for the new characters.

Being charmed isn't something one looks for in sexual content like this, but by golly you bring it hard!
 
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Russandol

New Member
Apr 14, 2020
2
4
Great humour, great art. Some glitches here and there ("Return" from "Girls" menu went to Main Menu at one point). Wasn't bothered too much by translation? If you need, I can audit English translation for grammatical errors (PM). Really dig the art and overall style. Keep it up.
 
4.50 star(s) 51 Votes