Eleyon

Newbie
Oct 14, 2020
37
78
Nice looking game and such, but the writing aspect just seems goofy. It jumps all over the place and is a big ??? most of the time. I feel like everything about this could have been introduced in a manner that was much more structured.

These are adult games, and so story is always going to be up in the air, but there still needs to be things taken into account, such as the fact that having poorly written characters can create a turn off effect and I don't expressly mean a boner. The main character just jumps to retardation incest thoughts...and then crash, and then scene and then change and then nonsense dialogue. The scene looked good, this just needs a touch up in the writing department. I would consider bringing on a writer if at all possible to clean this thing up and let it fully realize any potential it could have.
 

Easy Pete

DYNAMITE <3 GIRL DICK<3 DOGS <3
Donor
Dec 6, 2016
303
953
For a prologue it seems fine, heck I even like it but i hate that the MC also looks like a frickin' goblin, I like the fact that he is short but why is my guy THAT ugly. Good luck to the dev but pls buy the MC a facial reconstruction surgery.
 
2.80 star(s) 10 Votes