4.10 star(s) 60 Votes

Jacowboy

Active Member
Aug 8, 2022
906
1,028
I am a native English speaker. Just haven't had the time to sit down and do a hard/serious editing session beyond typos (which I'm sure still exist). I've got a long list from DuckDairyDip (I think his name was?) and I'll be going over Episode 2 as I'm doing that.
whoops, sorry, I spaced out on replying... oh, ok, my bad on assuming you weren't, it's just it felt like a translation at times (it does get somewhat better in the 2nd chapter), but anyhow, yeah it'd be a good idea to go over the dialogues from the begining, because there were indeed a lot of missing words specifically, plus some typos and that sort of thing.

Beyond that, well, I would work on some of the phrasings that feel clunky and unnatural, but then again maybe that's your style and that's fair enough... just my 2 cents... good luck with it (y)

Oh I also had a missing image after the asian girl gives the MC a blowjob in the morning... in case no one's reported it yet

1714570268155.png
 
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HornyyPussy

Board Buff
Apr 26, 2020
16,546
38,731
screenshot0001.png
DAMN! The junk in that trunk!!!!! :love:

And she's not an LI.......life is cruel......

Very good opening on the VN missfortune, I'm hooked :)
 
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Carnagie

Member
Apr 30, 2017
150
272
Eh, this is only on 0.2. Shouldn't be much to it, but I'll give it a look--

>great music
>great renders
>literal hours of genuinely well-crafted story
>No character falls flat
>Even the damn world feels fleshed out
>MC is an actual character not just a vehicle for the reader


bruh
 
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warheadd

Member
Jan 28, 2021
118
62
Pretty sure the stalker is Hazel Clark considering a vague similarity between her and the stalkers appearance and that it would fit for a backstory considering the brief description that is given to her on the love interest sheet. MC treated her well, helped her back then, so she becomes a stalker to keep him for herself.
 

pupitti

Member
Nov 20, 2023
124
122
Few questions, first, what is the Superstar Trait, and is it unlockable in e1s2? Are the stats relevant and can they be upgraded?
How do I unlock this animation? (its the last one)
1714589286900.png
 

warheadd

Member
Jan 28, 2021
118
62
Also will Emily still be an antagonist or will she come around in terms of being on the good side of the MC in the future?
 

Mihawk_80

Member
Jul 2, 2022
187
173
Move the Chains [v0.2 Bugfix] Walkthrough Mod
The Walkthrough shows points or highlights the choices.​

Installation:
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Download: -

If you like my work, please consider supporting me on my or , check my .
Thank you
 
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PickerLewd

Engaged Member
Dec 22, 2022
2,320
2,625
the lewd quota needs to be filled. Can't get away with it like Ocean or any of the other bigger developers.
I think the only way you could do that was if the first release had no raunchy scene and from then on you built a blue-balling narrative with each new update :WeSmart:.
But once the first scene with Eisley is done, there is no going back :ROFLMAO:.
 
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MissFortune

I Was Once, Possibly, Maybe, Perhaps… A Harem King
Respected User
Game Developer
Aug 17, 2019
5,910
9,388
Few questions, first, what is the Superstar Trait, and is it unlockable in e1s2? Are the stats relevant and can they be upgraded?
How do I unlock this animation? (its the last one)
The Superstar Trait is basically like the X-Factor Ability in Madden. Each trait will offer a slight bonus during a pivotal point in a game. It'll be unlocked (with a choice + description for them) during the fundraiser game mentioned in Episode 2. It'll be unlocked in the next update, and stats will come a bit later.

By the looks of it, I put the code unlock code inside one of the choices in that scene and thus didn't register for those who didn't make the other choice. I'll unlock everything at the beginning of Episode 3.

Also will Emily still be an antagonist or will she come around in terms of being on the good side of the MC in the future?
It gets worse before it gets better, but you do have an option to help her. Definitely more on the side girl end of the cast, but the option will be there nonetheless.

Why cut the whole scene out, of ivan or ivy being reintroduced to MC when you have lgbt off and MC acting like it all happened anyways,
I mean most people like me dont mind these types of characters they just dont want to fuck chicks with dicks or guys pretending to be girls,
And that scene is also important to the story at least for the first episode as it gives backstory to MC,
Just cutting out any and all nudity and sex is enough instead of cutting out a whole character,
or just give an option to make all chicks with dicks real women as some other VNs do.
As I've said before, by offering the option of a trans or real woman, I'd effectively be doubling the work for that character. Two renders for every nude scene (or spot renders, at least.) featuring that character, two animations for every scene featuring that character. Conditional code, etc. It's just not feasible at the moment.

As far as MC acting as if it happened anyways? I just checked with a quick playthrough of the scene, nothing is implied in that scene. All he mentions is that she walked off (spoiler warning):

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And since a lot of these variable types tend to be inherently false (especially so since you've got the LGBT off here.), you'd largely be seeing the 'else' statements here. Anyways, all that aside, there's a decent sized portion of the next update going to Ivy + her backstory with MC. Probably some 100 renders or so. With a heavy bit of variance in regard to whether the bathroom scene happened or not.
 

MissFortune

I Was Once, Possibly, Maybe, Perhaps… A Harem King
Respected User
Game Developer
Aug 17, 2019
5,910
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Ik what a CB is.Just can't even remember the last white CB. What is the race of the MC?
He's white. Cooper DeJean is if you're following recent history. Troy Apke, though I recall him being mainly a special teamer and was moved to safety when he did play. His snaps at CB were pretty low. The last 'successful' white CB in the NFL, though, was probably Jason Sehorn back in the mid-90s.
 

xsikal

Member
Jul 13, 2022
256
552
Ik what a CB is.Just can't even remember the last white CB. What is the race of the MC?
Not many, especially if you just look at starters. Troy Apke was drafted as a CB in 2018 but switched to safety and he was the first in a long while. But Cooper Dejean was just drafted as a white cornerback last week. Before those two were Kaesviharn and Sehorn in the early 2000s.

Edit: Beat to the punch by MissFortune. :cautious::)
 

vulacior

New Member
Nov 12, 2020
5
1
He's white. Cooper DeJean is if you're following recent history. Troy Apke, though I recall him being mainly a special teamer and was moved to safety when he did play. His snaps at CB were pretty low. The last 'successful' white CB in the NFL, though, was probably Jason Sehorn back in the mid-90s.
Thanks, will check out the game. DeJean probably moved to safety as well in the NFL.
 
4.10 star(s) 60 Votes