Amazing rewrite, at the beginning I was really impressed with the thought of his gf cheating but in the proper spirit of things she was aware he was watching the whole time. Another amazing script with high levels of erotica, lust and indulging. This is the best rewrite of this game now in my opinion.
Great work, not too many typos either, in one instance I did notice that the MC referred to her as his wife instead of his gf but other than that it made for very good reading.
I loved the balance of his gf going all the way because she wanted to and the feeling of conflict internally. It was incredibly hot. All he wanted was for her to tease but she made the choice to cheat.
I would have loved her to succumb to the roommate's desires and want to do it again with him but like I said you, nailed the spirit of the original script, she's not totally cheating because MC was aware of the whole thing.
If you ever decide to other rewrites, I for sure will be happy to try them.